ts5900 Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 I was with my exboyfriend for 2 years. We lived together and were seriously talking about marriage. I made a huge mistake and moved out. I was really stressed out and thought he was the cause. Now that I have moved out, I am miserable and want him back. He did not want to break up at first so we still spent alot of time together after we initially broke up. After hanging out for a couple weeks, things were going well. So, I asked him if he was moving on or was if he was still confused about things. With hesitation, he told me he was moving on. This crushed me! I contacted him about 5 days later and asked if he would come over to my place to talk. He was more than willing to talk. I told him all that I had realized about our relationship/break up and why things had ended up the way they did. I also provided a couple of suggestions on how we could make it again. While I was explaining all this to him, he started crying and gave me a big hug. He tols me he wasa very happy that I had told him what I had realized and that he was really proud of me. He gave me another big huge as he was leaving and told me that he would be in touch. Has he really moved on? Or is he just trying to think everything through? Why would he cry if he has already moved on? Im confused! He said he would be in touch. How long will it take for him to call?
xpaperxcutx Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 If he had wanted to be with you again, he would have immediately taken you back. Why would he make you wait? He's turning the table on you, by making you miserable for breaking his heart. This is what usually happens for dumpers who regret their actions.
xpaperxcutx Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 SO is he over me? Yes. There's also the chance that he might make you his FWB. He knows you still have feelings for him, which makes you more vulnerable to agree having sex with him if he asks. This isn't so much a lesson as much as you should just stick to your convictions and decisions. Delete his number and take a few days for yourself as a break to start healing. Remember to do no contact. It will help you get over him.
sugarmomma Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 OP you moved out on him and I am sure that hurt him. Relationships are suppose to progress and not regress. If I were him I would probably move on too. Why did you move out?
Author ts5900 Posted December 17, 2009 Author Posted December 17, 2009 I moved out for a few reasons. I had a ton of stress and took it all out on him while I lived there. I thought he was the root cause of the stress so I thought I had to move out to relieve that stress. Once I moved out I realized he was not the stress at all. I had to step out of the situation to be able to see that. And now its too late. I havent heard from him in 3 days. How long should I wait for him to call?
SaraSmile Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 I think he is still very hurt by your having moved out and broken things off with him. You admit he was not the cause of your stress, but you thought he was and blamed him. The trust is damaged and I think he is confused and still hurt. He may think he is better off without you, considering that you broke his heart through no fault of his own. I think in your case, if you love him and want to try again, you should communicate your regret and ask for forgiveness. I could understand him not wanting to take the risk with you again, but he might if you convince him you are truly sorry and he loves you and feels certain you are the one for him. Do you feel the same way about him, or are you just having trouble adjusting to single life? Are you really sure there were not other reasons that led you to leave him and move out? That's a pretty drastic step to take, and you did say you were discussing marriage. It just doesn't make sense to me that you would move out if you really loved him and he loved you. Usually relationships help buffer partners against the stresses life throws at them. Anyway, think since you are the one who ended the relationship, the onus is on you to repair the damage if you think it was a mistake to leave him.
Kantor Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 Anyway, think since you are the one who ended the relationship, the onus is on you to repair the damage if you think it was a mistake to leave him. Good line, I'm in the same boat. My word of advice would be leave him be and give him some time. Although I made sure I communicated my true feelings to my ex before I went NC. While she didn't respond to me, Im pretty sure she got them. I've been NC for two weeks now allowing time for me to heal and for her to heal. If she wants to get back with me she still has my number memorized, we dated four years and lived together for one and a half. Although I will at some point in the near year probably try to spark up a conversation where after the dust has settled I can see where I lie. Although I am complete prepared and expecting to get shot down one last time. However, what helped me the most was telling the person how I really felt and knowing there was nothing else I could do to repair the damage I made.
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