vogen Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 So It has been a month or so now since she left me. The first week I essentially spent begging for her back. I was txting her and calling her, but then I found LS and everyone said to go NC, so I did. I have only talked to her once since then, and that was because she took some of her stuff while I was at work, with my laptop along with it. So I went and retrieved it and she gave it back with no hesitation. It was attributed to a misunderstanding. So anyways, about a week ago she asks to meet with my roomate (and he was to not tell me about the meeting) and she said basically she doesn't know whats going on and shes heard rumors and she scared blah blah blah. Well he told her "you need to make a decision, either you are gonna work something out with him or not. Because is if not you need to leave him alone and let him move on, if so then you need to try dating him and see if hes really changed" About 5 days later, (which is today) she sends me a text message saying "hey ^^, I was wondering if you and your roomate wanna go see a movie this sunday or monday?" What should I say to this? Does this mean anything? I am really confused... Could you guys help me out? For the record: I AM interested in getting back together with her...
Kantor Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 Sounds like you may get that chance... There are lots of posts / guides if you will on how to reconnect after a break up. You should search and read them. Take things very slow and make sure you work out the problems that causes the break up and not jump back into where you were. Its a break up, things weren't working for some reason if you dont do anything to fix them it will just happen again. Good LUCK! You're getting the chance a lot of us dream of, or at least we think we dream of.
Author vogen Posted December 19, 2009 Author Posted December 19, 2009 Well, does it seem like she is trying to just "be friends" because she invited the third party? Or is this simply a way of testing the waters to see if this is what she wants? I don't want to get strung along or seem like she just wants to be friends while she really is just keeping me as a safety net while she dates others. Yet I don't want to bring this to her attention and scare her off... So I feel like I am walking a VERY thin line. I just want to make sure I play this well, if it perhaps, means anything at all.
kickintheaz Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 Well, does it seem like she is trying to just "be friends" because she invited the third party? Or is this simply a way of testing the waters to see if this is what she wants? I don't want to get strung along or seem like she just wants to be friends while she really is just keeping me as a safety net while she dates others. Yet I don't want to bring this to her attention and scare her off... So I feel like I am walking a VERY thin line. I just want to make sure I play this well, if it perhaps, means anything at all. If it was me, I wouldn't go. (again!) Going to a movie with your roommate and your ex is just plain weird if you have not addressed the issue at hand. The only way you should see her is if she wants to talk 1 on 1... TALk, not sit through a movie.. If she is playing the 'game' and it sounds like she is, then yeah she will string you along as a back up plan. You telling her that you are not gonna 'be friends' is not gonna scare her off if her intentions are otherwise. LOOK AFTER YOU!.. If she wants to get back with you, she will tell you. You are in a phase we have all gone through, sitting there with your hand out waiting for the breadcrumbs to fall into em. If you have feelings for her then you cannot be friends with her right now. You're on a month NC give or take, which is great. Keep at it. If you must, pick up the phone and tell her that you do not want to go to the movies, if she wants to talk about the break up and work towards a reconcilation then she should let you know. If that comes to pass, you will be ready to talk with her. Then get off the phone and keep going with your life man.. do not fall into the trap so many of us here have.. PLEEEEEEAAAAAAASSSSSSSEEEEEEE.. there is only 2 endings to this. She never contacts you or she does to talk about the relationship and to fix whatever went wrong.. my 2 cents..
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