stevejohnson1976 Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 HI! I met a great girl via online about 3 weeks ago. We talked for 2 weeks and decided neither of us was TOO weird, so we went out Friday. Date went GREAT!. Before I could even get to my car after walking her to her car (no kiss, just a hug and a thanks), I received TWO texts from her that I was her best online date ever and that she is keeping next Saturday open for me. We texted and emailed a few times over the weekend,-Saturdays communication was inline with Fridays excitement- but she seemed to be short and quick with her responses starting Sunday. The last I heard from her was Sunday after I emailed her, when yesterday I decided to text her to see how her week was going. Again, more quick talk. So, I feel like maybe she went on a date sat night and was blown away or something, as I can tell her excitement level definitely went fdown. Sure, I could be paranoid, but I have a REALLY good feel for these things. Anyway, I want to call her tonight and firm up Saturday, but am having reservations! Any insight?? What should I do here?? Take it easy in me, I'm over 30, but this is my first time 'dating' after 2 LONG term relationships....
Author stevejohnson1976 Posted December 17, 2009 Author Posted December 17, 2009 I need to call tonight!! HELP!!!
Lakeside_runner Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 I'm not sure but maybe just give her some space? I don't know - did you show any excitement? Don't come off as too clingy. Why do you have to call her today?
D-Lish Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 I need to call tonight!! HELP!!! Why tonight? Date isn't until Saturday. Isn't the date already confirmed?
Author stevejohnson1976 Posted December 17, 2009 Author Posted December 17, 2009 I'm not sure but maybe just give her some space? I don't know - did you show any excitement? Don't come off as too clingy. Why do you have to call her today? I'm thinking that if I want to ask her out for the weekend, I would need to give a couple days notice. Also, since she is on a dating site (as am I), I know the competition is fierce. I'm sure she is getting her share of 'callers'. She's super cool, really attractive and I dont want to miss the boat. I also mentioned in a text that I would call her this week (i panicked!!) Like I said, I haven't done this before and am EXTREMELY bad at it....
Author stevejohnson1976 Posted December 17, 2009 Author Posted December 17, 2009 Why tonight? Date isn't until Saturday. Isn't the date already confirmed? The date isnt confirmed. Her second text before I could even get back to the car was "I'll leave next Saturday open for ya!! Is that too forward??" So, I know I have to call at confirm it and setup something to do. I hate this crap so much. I wish it was easier....
deebeechrisyo Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 I think you might have contacted her too much since the first date. She might have construed it as you being clingy.
Author stevejohnson1976 Posted December 17, 2009 Author Posted December 17, 2009 I think you might have contacted her too much since the first date. She might have construed it as you being clingy. other than yesterdays quick text, all communication was started by her. I just replied. funny thing is, I am so not clingy. I just dont want to make a stupid mistake her, since I'm basically dating for the first time.... Are you all thinking I should wait til tomorrow????
Author stevejohnson1976 Posted December 17, 2009 Author Posted December 17, 2009 so two people have responded with clingy? hmmmm. i dont want to be THAT guy obviously. like i said, i just responded to her emails and texts. only sunday did i start the conversation, by asking how it went as she went to a huge event on sunday...i kept it real short and sweet...
D-Lish Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 I am getting the vibe you are really over-eager! You have to be a little careful about coming off as too eager when you chat with her. I'd send her a text "hey, how about dinner at X, 8pm, Saturday?" See what the response is. If she dates a lot, she may be a bit of an online player- it's hard to say. See what her response is, see how quick she returns it. Send the text now and update us.
Author stevejohnson1976 Posted December 17, 2009 Author Posted December 17, 2009 I am getting the vibe you are really over-eager! You have to be a little careful about coming off as too eager when you chat with her. I'd send her a text "hey, how about dinner at X, 8pm, Saturday?" See what the response is. If she dates a lot, she may be a bit of an online player- it's hard to say. See what her response is, see how quick she returns it. Send the text now and update us. send the text even though I mentioned I would call her? wouldnt that be not very manly? she REALLY seemed interested Fri night and sat. she probably still is, but I have a weird feeling....
deebeechrisyo Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 Maybe you are just overanalyzing the situation then. There could be a lot of reasons why she is giving you shorter replies. Call her today or tomorrow and set up the date, and then see for yourself what she thinks during the next date based on her body language, etc.
Art_Critic Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 I suggest that you stop texting her and pick up the phone and SPEAK to her... Texting is so not the way to get to know someone... To me it is either 1 of 2 things... 1.) she likes you and is just playing a little hard to get as she was forward with reserving her Sat. night for you, she might have realized that she might be sending the wrong signal and is correcting that by pulling back some. 2.) she met someone else dating and bang.. you are out.. Since the date is set for Sat then I would call her either on Thurs night or Friday day.. and stop so much texting.. speak to the woman in your own voice.. you are over 30 and not 20..
Author stevejohnson1976 Posted December 17, 2009 Author Posted December 17, 2009 as for my text yesterday asking how her week was going, i was only trying to be a gentleman and not a typical dude who takes a girl out, then doesnt talk to her for a week. It had been 4 days since the date and I thought I would drop a quick text so she knew I was still interested. Being on one of the biggest online dating sites, I just get this feeling of competition. like, if I dont strike when the irons hot, someone else will....
Author stevejohnson1976 Posted December 17, 2009 Author Posted December 17, 2009 I suggest that you stop texting her and pick up the phone and SPEAK to her... Texting is so not the way to get to know someone... To me it is either 1 of 2 things... 1.) she likes you and is just playing a little hard to get as she was forward with reserving her Sat. night for you, she might have realized that she might be sending the wrong signal and is correcting that by pulling back some. 2.) she met someone else dating and bang.. you are out.. Since the date is set for Sat then I would call her either on Thurs night or Friday day.. and stop so much texting.. speak to the woman in your own voice.. you are over 30 and not 20.. right on... i hear . date for sat was just mention in a text...so I figured that it wasnt confirm...hence the phone call needed to firm it up.
Author stevejohnson1976 Posted December 17, 2009 Author Posted December 17, 2009 im gonna just call.... if she's not down, she can let it go to voicemail and thats that. its on her. plenty of others out there.
meerkat stew Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 Call her directly and ask her out, it's never good to just sit and worry about when to call. If you have a date plan go ahead and call immediately. Try to cut down on texting going forward. Her "keeping Saturday open" tripped you up some. You have to consider stuff like that just noise in the early going, disregard stuff like that going forward. Don't worry about fierce competition on the net. Yes, it's there, but there's nothing you can do about it. You do need to make a cool, fun impression on her quickly. Most women I have dated online will tune out the other contenders for awhile if they are enough impressed with a guy. Also, very often, that fierce competition is not exactly Rico Suave level, and that can work in your favor, so competition is not all bad.
Author stevejohnson1976 Posted December 17, 2009 Author Posted December 17, 2009 Call her directly and ask her out, it's never good to just sit and worry about when to call. If you have a date plan go ahead and call immediately. Try to cut down on texting going forward. Her "keeping Saturday open" tripped you up some. You have to consider stuff like that just noise in the early going, disregard stuff like that going forward. Don't worry about fierce competition on the net. Yes, it's there, but there's nothing you can do about it. You do need to make a cool, fun impression on her quickly. Most women I have dated online will tune out the other contenders for awhile if they are enough impressed with a guy. Also, very often, that fierce competition is not exactly Rico Suave level, and that can work in your favor, so competition is not all bad. right on...this is great... i know she at least find me attractive as she made multiple points comparing and saying i look like a famous hot dude...which I have gotten before...but you just dont know with this online dating... you know they are out there dating plenty...hell, I've been on 5 in 2 weeks. thats where i get the 'competition' from. The texts right after the date definitely had me going good and are now tripping me up. I'll let you guys know how it goes here in a minute... sink or swim baby!!!!
D-Lish Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 She's a texter- she's doing the text thing with you- so recognize that cue and text her. It seems to be her familiar "way" of communicating. Some people aren't phone talkers. I don't get the feeling she is a phone talker. I've had this conversation with my gf's- we don't always want to do the phone-talk too early. Dude- you have nothing to lose. Text her now- try and firm up Saturday. Let us know how it goes.
Author stevejohnson1976 Posted December 17, 2009 Author Posted December 17, 2009 She's a texter- she's doing the text thing with you- so recognize that cue and text her. It seems to be her familiar "way" of communicating. Some people aren't phone talkers. I don't get the feeling she is a phone talker. I've had this conversation with my gf's- we don't always want to do the phone-talk too early. Dude- you have nothing to lose. Text her now- try and firm up Saturday. Let us know how it goes. ok..i totally would just text her...believe me...much easier. 1. i have talked to her on the phone before - she gave me her number and said "use it" 2. i told her i would give her a call this week...with her knowing it was about this weekend im sure my game consists of "do you like me? circle YES/NO"...and hence why im on here begging for help!!
Art_Critic Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 Here is an interesting article on texting while dating... Google Dating 101: The 7 Biggest Misuses of Texting -- Yahoo! Personals and click on the article there or click here http://lmgtfy.com/?q=Dating+101%3A+The+7+Biggest+Misuses+of+Texting+--+Yahoo!+Personals
shadowplay Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 Text her, call her, whatever. Stop obsessing and just ask her out for Saturday before it gets too late tonight. And tell us how it goes!
Author stevejohnson1976 Posted December 17, 2009 Author Posted December 17, 2009 ok - got the dreaded voicemail....left a message "dishes are done"
D-Lish Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 ok..i totally would just text her...believe me...much easier. 1. i have talked to her on the phone before - she gave me her number and said "use it" 2. i told her i would give her a call this week...with her knowing it was about this weekend im sure my game consists of "do you like me? circle YES/NO"...and hence why im on here begging for help!! Then call- right now. RIGHT NOW. It wouldn't matter to me personally if a guy texted or called- if he called, I'd let it go to voice and then text back because the phone makes me nervous. If she's given you the phone go-ahead- use it....or text...just do something.
Art_Critic Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 ok - got the dreaded voicemail....left a message "dishes are done" Relax... The ball is now in her court.. entirely...
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