samm09 Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 Hi everyone, After being with my wife for 13 years and married only 5, we are now separated. We separated back at the beginning of Aug and signed a separation agreement in Sep. We have no kids thank god. Although I want kids, I'm so grateful that we didn't have any. For the last couple years we lived more as friends than lovers. We attended consulting which was a joke, I always felt cornered. Although I didn't care much for the consulting we were learning better communication skills and things seemed to be improving. We were doing more together and showing more interest in one another. During this whole time with marriage consulting I was going through a rough period of unemployment and attending my own individual consulting to cope with all the stress of not having work etc. I spent almost one year looking for decent work to pay the bills and mortgage (part time and full time), struggling with depression, and trying hard to work on a failing marriage. Well it all came crashing down as soon as my unemployment ran out (she has good full time work). We sold the house and she basically didn't want anything to do with me after that. Although we're civil to one another, I feel let down, abandon and very bitter. I miss my wife dearly but now that we've been apart, I wouldn't take her back if she wanted back. I am now back at college after almost 20 years of being in school and I'm doing very well considering all the emotions that are built up inside. I have also met someone at school who I'm very attracted too and I feel like I'm obsessing. I'm not sure if I'm obsessing because of the loss and I'm trying to fill the void or what?? Is this common right out failed marriage?? I hardly know the person and in fact I don't even know if shes single or even if shes interested for god sakes. I know I'm not ready for another relationship but are there so-called rules as to how long you should be apart before you start or even consider dating??
mark982 Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 ain't that sweet of her, your chips are crashing and she takes off. gee what happened for better or worse?
Cranialrupture Posted December 18, 2009 Posted December 18, 2009 Yes you are most likely filling a void. By all means date, just stay away from getting into a relationship until your emotional rollercoaster is over from the marriage and you are happy with yourself.
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