me4u Posted December 20, 2003 Posted December 20, 2003 hi!!i am new and indeed this one's gonna be a long one.i thank in advacne to everyone for their adivce.my story goes like this.i was in a 4 yr relationship till this yr feb.and the last 7mnths of the relationship was a long distance one as i had to leave the country for my further studies .she broke off wth me as she started seeing someone else.i was torn apart and was very depressed but there was nothin much i could do 'cause of the distance.finally i recoverd and i sorta got over her.i went back to my country for holidays in may.there i met this beautiful lady thro a friend.we started dating and i fell in love wth her.we had a great time together.even tho she was a bit apprehensive in the beginning 'cause she had a horrible past wth her ex she decided to be wth me.everything was so picture perfect.she is always honest wth me.she is still friends wth her ex .she says he has been wth her whn she really needed someone and she has no feelings for him but he is her best friend.i have never told her to stop talkin to this guy as i trust her.then again i had to leave thecountry to get back to my studies.everything was fine till 2 mnths back she told me that she can't be in a relationship anymore as she feels she can't handle it.she says i am perfect .its juss that she ds nt want to marry anyone and she ds nt want to be in a relationship.i tried convincing her but in vain.the strangest part is we speak everyday over the phone and its as if we r still seeing each other.but she keeps sayin that she ds nt want to gimme false hope and tht i shld move on.but i don't call her up for a day she calls me back askin why i didn't call her.all this is so confusing.i love her like crazy. now for the interesting part,she is also comin to this country to study and she will jus be an hrs drive from where i live.now she asks me questions like-u will call me up everyday right after i come there???...its so tough to be juss her frnd as i still have feelings for her.she still goes out wth her ex almost everday and she tells me whenever she goes out.what do i do??am thinkin of talkin to her after she comes here and if at all she is nt willing to work out then juss tell her its nt possible for me to juss be her frnd as its emotionally hurting me.but again she has no one here and if i juss cut off there will be no one for her here..plz help..gimme advice as to what to do and what i need to tell her so that i can handle all this tactfullt and hopefully she will come back to me.she is 24 amd am 24 too....i really would appreciate ur help as i am so far waya from home and frnds.thnx a lot.
CanadianBornCutie Posted December 20, 2003 Posted December 20, 2003 My advice she obviously cares for you and wants you in her life. YOu said she had a horrendus past, perhaps that makes her insecure a bit........be friendly with her but you need to have a talk to see what page you guys are on.....the best i would say to you is offer friendship and dont pressure for more....ocne you both decide that and set some guidelines it should be betetr. now if she or you should break some of the guidelines then there's a different story....i just strongly advise you two to talk it through, have a good talk, but first and foremost be her friend....i think many people make the mistake of not knowing their "other" as a friend first before lover..... hope it helps! KIT!
Author me4u Posted December 20, 2003 Author Posted December 20, 2003 hey kit...thnx so much for ur reply.whatever u sd sounds good..and i shall definitely think abt it..i hope everything works out..thnxk so much once again..
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