Lakeside_runner Posted December 16, 2009 Posted December 16, 2009 Hypothetical question - I was a couple of years ago in a relationship and moved abroad to pursue my career. The relationship initially LDR fell apart because the other party decided that they want to stay in their home country and pursue their career there. Well, we both were a little naive... So here's my question for the ladies: If someone whom you'd have been dating was offered a really good position in say Switzerland for 3-4 years, you were about to be done with your education (1 year left) and didn't have any plans carved in stone, would there be anything that would make you follow your boyfriend or is it just to crazy? I'm curious because my last relationship fell apart in a situation like that at a time where I was about to buy a ring...
New Again Posted December 16, 2009 Posted December 16, 2009 Well, not to be rude, but if you were ready to buy a ring....did you talk to your SO about your move to pursue your career? Was it a discussion to figure that out together, or was it a "this is what I'm doing, you should come too" kind of thing? Because that would make all the difference for me. If my b/f simply told me "I'm moving to Switzerland for 3-4 years for my job. I want you to come too!" why should I bother considering him and his plans/life when he's not considering mine or treating me with respect and as a partner. But I personally would love an adventure like that... however if it was to follow my b/f though, it would be under particular circumstances, like it was a mutual decision.
sunshine94 Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 If we are both very much in love and I could also further my career in that country, then I would move. Also the relationship would have to be very serious. I would not move for someone that I am just dating.
Author Lakeside_runner Posted December 17, 2009 Author Posted December 17, 2009 Well, not to be rude, but if you were ready to buy a ring....did you talk to your SO about your move to pursue your career? Was it a discussion to figure that out together, or was it a "this is what I'm doing, you should come too" kind of thing? Because that would make all the difference for me. Come on! Of course we talked about it! It was a mutual decision. She just changed her mind...
Island Girl Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 If we are both very much in love and I could also further my career in that country, then I would move. Also the relationship would have to be very serious. I would not move for someone that I am just dating. Even if I could't further my career I would. Love is what makes life worth living sometimes one puts the other's aspirations ahead of their own for the better of the future for the both of them.
Author Lakeside_runner Posted December 17, 2009 Author Posted December 17, 2009 Even if I could't further my career I would. Love is what makes life worth living sometimes one puts the other's aspirations ahead of their own for the better of the future for the both of them. That's a really nice thing to say
Island Girl Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 That's a really nice thing to say It's an even better thing to feel. I want everyone to know it is possible and have it.
Citizen Erased Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 Yes, in those circumstances I would without a doubt move with them. I'm sorry to hear about your breakup, you about to buy her a ring...
Author Lakeside_runner Posted December 17, 2009 Author Posted December 17, 2009 So, if someone would offer you unconditionally a chance to go from the US to Switzerland and money there would not be a problem and both of you could enjoy life in Zurich (which is a beautiful city!) for 3-4 years, and that someone would be the sweetest BF ever (I'm not claiming anything about me here ) - you'd consider it? I mean it sounds like a movie/fairy-tale but that's essentially how it was...
New Again Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 Come on! Of course we talked about it! It was a mutual decision. She just changed her mind... Didn't mean that as a personal attack. Was just saying YES it is something I would love to do (it's actually a dream of mine), but that is something that would make me not do it. At least not with a partner. Probably living abroad isn't for everyone.
Island Girl Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 So, if someone would offer you unconditionally a chance to go from the US to Switzerland and money there would not be a problem and both of you could enjoy life in Zurich (which is a beautiful city!) for 3-4 years, and that someone would be the sweetest BF ever (I'm not claiming anything about me here ) - you'd consider it? I mean it sounds like a movie/fairy-tale but that's essentially how it was... If a man I loved offered me unconditionally a chance to go from where I was to anywhere where we would be comfortable and help us to build our future together I would not consider it. I would go.
Author Lakeside_runner Posted December 17, 2009 Author Posted December 17, 2009 If a man I loved offered me unconditionally a chance to go from where I was to anywhere where we would be comfortable and help us to build our future together I would not consider it. I would go. Oh, I didn't mean it like that I knew you'r not hostile etc., didn't mean to sound defensive. Yup, living abroad is not for everybody, it takes some metal strength because essentially you're trading some problems for new challenges.
Author Lakeside_runner Posted December 17, 2009 Author Posted December 17, 2009 If a man I loved offered me unconditionally a chance to go from where I was to anywhere where we would be comfortable and help us to build our future together I would not consider it. I would go. Now, that just restored my faith in the world and how it works THANKS!
Island Girl Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 Oh, I didn't mean it like that I knew you'r not hostile etc., didn't mean to sound defensive. Sorry my post may have come across the wrong way to you. All I am trying to say is it wouldn't have to be everything paid taken care of and perfect like that for me to go. I'd go as long as we were going to be comfortable. It would be an adventure to share together.
sonicranger Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 If we are both very much in love and I could also further my career in that country, then I would move. Also the relationship would have to be very serious. I would not move for someone that I am just dating. This is interesting topic. I've been dating for a short time and we've already casually discussed this. I will be done with school in 6 months and have a good job on the table. Of course my gf, graduated college a year ago and can't find a job in our area in this economy. So we're in a quandary ourselves, if it goes to the next level.
Author Lakeside_runner Posted December 17, 2009 Author Posted December 17, 2009 This is interesting topic. I've been dating for a short time and we've already casually discussed this. I will be done with school in 6 months and have a good job on the table. Of course my gf, graduated college a year ago and can't find a job in our area in this economy. So we're in a quandary ourselves, if it goes to the next level. How long have you guys been together?
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