Woggle Posted December 16, 2009 Posted December 16, 2009 Today I had off from work and I was installing something in my computer that was taking forever and slowing things down. I called my wife to see if I could use her computer to pay some bills and since I was there anyway I decided to look at her emails and her message board postings to see what she was really up to and what she really thinks of me. I come to find out that she gushes over me and truly does love me. All that stuff I say about wives secretly resenting and despising their husbands certainly does not apply in my case. This makes the feel like the biggest POS ever because I was expecting for her to be trashing me. Maybe I do need to change my attitude.
D-Lish Posted December 16, 2009 Posted December 16, 2009 That sounds like the best news ever. Nothing wrong with being proven wrong. Maybe you should get her an swesome x-mas present, lol.
shadowplay Posted December 16, 2009 Posted December 16, 2009 Stop looking for a reason to hate her! Don't you see that's what you're doing? Once you stop looking and just accept the fact that she's a good person, you'll be happy.
Citizen Erased Posted December 16, 2009 Posted December 16, 2009 That's really wonderful that you chose to snoop through her personal things, good on you. It's not a surprise, you're the one with the problem, not her.
Land Shark Posted December 16, 2009 Posted December 16, 2009 I've found that trust is generally given, as opposed to earned as most people say. It's only possible to earn it if you can verify your every thought and action. An untrusting person will never believe what they see and hear. On the other hand, someone who is secure and confident in themselves will give it, even when it hasn't been earned 100%. When you're committed to someone, and you find you cannot give them trust, and you're constantly vigilant trying to get them to earn it, you just never trust them at all. And that just wears a relationship down. You need to give it and never doubt it. And you also need to trust yourself enough that if you find out she's not worthy of it, you'll survive and go on to live a good life without her. No relationship in human history has ever surpassed that standard.
NoIDidn't Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 Maybe? No, I'd say DEFINITELY you need to change your attitude. I generally don't get into your woman bashing postings, but what you put your W through over your so-called friend was totally disrespectful to her. Suppose you found her venting about how you were treating her feelings, would that have only validated your feelings about women secretly resenting the men in their lives? Your marriage is not going to survive this constant onslaught of disrespect and mistrust coming from you. And I say this as the former female version of yourself. I used to snoop for proof of my beliefs and NEVER found any either. Its not worth it. You have nothing to lose in laying down your false beliefs. You will lose her love if you keep doing what you've been doing though.
OpenBook Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 [sigh] Wogs Wogs Wogs, whatever are we going to do with you???? You are not a POS -- all evidence to the contrary, according to your W... who has the only opinion that really matters here. You ARE going to tell her you snooped through her stuff, aren't you? I think she deserves to know... and maybe that'll assuage your own guilt about it. She is, after all, the most highly-qualified person to help you work through these lingering trust issues you have from past nightmares.
Author Woggle Posted December 17, 2009 Author Posted December 17, 2009 She actually apologized for not giving me the whole story about my friend. You would not want a man telling you to drop a friend just because he says so so why would I want a woman to do that? It turns out she had a very good reason but I did not have all the information at first.
norajane Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 You are so freaking lucky your wife doesn't snoop into your computer like that and does not see what you post!!
xpaperxcutx Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 And for your New Year's Resolution you will want to stop going through her personal things and love her more. All's well that end's well?
allina Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 Good job scumbag:p:laugh: (I'm kidding, don't freak out) Now that you got some more evidence maybe you can relax? How about doing something special for her? Nothing big, just a little gesture that says "I love you." Believe it or not, it must really hurt her when you are distant and there is nothing she can do or it will get worse
Porn_Guy Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 is it just me woggle or are you becoming unstable?
Land Shark Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 You are so freaking lucky your wife doesn't snoop into your computer like that and does not see what you post!! That's true. She's been more loyal to Woggle than he's been to her. It's the irony of the insecure. Their own suspicions turn them into what they hate the most.
Author Woggle Posted December 17, 2009 Author Posted December 17, 2009 That's true. She's been more loyal to Woggle than he's been to her. It's the irony of the insecure. Their own suspicions turn them into what they hate the most. Because every women I have been loyal to befoe has betrayed me plus 9 times out of 10 when I see a man being loyal to a woman she takes that loyalty and uses it against him. Do you people that I have such a deep mistrust of women just for the hell of it? I wish I could just let this mistrust go and not look at women like they are guilty until until proven innocent but when I see the things I see I know I have no choice unless I want to end up with my balls in a vice grip.
Island Girl Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 She actually apologized for not giving me the whole story about my friend. You would not want a man telling you to drop a friend just because he says so so why would I want a woman to do that? It turns out she had a very good reason but I did not have all the information at first. No I would believe the man I married who is the closest person on the planet to me and certainly has always expressed and in action wanted only the BEST for me and US -- I would expect he HAS A VERY GOOD REASON. And my allegiance would be to HIM, not otherwise, until he gave me REASON to suspect differently. We are not talking about just any man wanting me to drop a friendship. We would be talking about my SPOUSE. There are millions of men. Only ONE is my spouse and I don't care what those millions of men are like - I care only what the one I live with is like.
Author Woggle Posted December 17, 2009 Author Posted December 17, 2009 You know that is not true. If your husband wanted you to drop a friend just because he said so you would have no problem with that? Do you really expect me to believe that? I remember when I raised an issue with my exes manhating friends she called me controlling. That was okay but I should just drop my friends because a woman said so. The same people who my ex made me disown were the same ones who were there for me after the divorce and the same ones my current wife gets along with very well. It is only that one guy she ever had a problem with.
sally4sara Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 You know that is not true. If your husband wanted you to drop a friend just because he said so you would have no problem with that? Do you really expect me to believe that? I remember when I raised an issue with my exes manhating friends she called me controlling. That was okay but I should just drop my friends because a woman said so. The same people who my ex made me disown were the same ones who were there for me after the divorce and the same ones my current wife gets along with very well. It is only that one guy she ever had a problem with. Your crazy ex handled it that way and you figure the best way to react to your wife is to behave exactly like your crazy ex did? You hold your ex up as an example of how women should not be, but then you turn around and use her behavior as a model for your own? Is that sound logic Wogs? Or is that being irrational and reactionary? I think you need to just accept that your ex and your mother were extreme cases of highly dysfunctional people and not examples of how most people are. Stop looking at what THEY did because you've been acting just like them. Its like you can't see the forest (your wife) for the trees (your ex and mother). For effs sake Woggle - you're snooping through your wife's PC even after you find out she has been on the level with you about your friend and never treated you unfairly! What does she have to do to get some credit, respect and consideration out of you? "I'm woggle and my ex was horrible and crazy. I'm going to act just like her in my current relationship because ..........." Can you finish the above statement? Because I can't see the sense in it.
Island Girl Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 You know that is not true. If your husband wanted you to drop a friend just because he said so you would have no problem with that? Do you really expect me to believe that? Of course. I am a woman so by all rights and purposes I am a liar and believe as YOU KNOW that I do. Not as I say I do. Of course I am lying Woggle because I have given you every reason to believe I hate men and am JUST like the ridiculous and completely fallacious stereotype YOU have in your head. You have just found out your wife is ulike this stereotype. It doesn't naturally follow that there could be others out there and those others MAY even include women here. Perhaps even ME! My point is that I marry the man I know. And the man I marry would not simply ask me to drop a friend because of a power trip or a non-reason. If he did so I would ASSUME he has reason to not that he has NO reason to. That is what YOU did. I would not do that. You can believe me or not it makes no never mind to me. I am not the one shooting myself in the foot and becoming judge jury and executioner of MY OWN SPOUSE with absolutely NO EVIDENCE (in fact evidence to the contrary). I remember when I raised an issue with my exes manhating friends she called me controlling. I am not manhating nor am I controlling Woggle. See? Get that? Different people? As in when I am posting it is not that woman nor one of the ones at your work. I do not share their views. You post you feel like a scumbag for jumping to the unhealthy and ridiculous conclusions you have -- big time too Woggle -- but you turn around in the same thread and spew it some more. I can not for the life of me understand what you get out of this drama.
whichwayisup Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 Today I had off from work and I was installing something in my computer that was taking forever and slowing things down. I called my wife to see if I could use her computer to pay some bills and since I was there anyway I decided to look at her emails and her message board postings to see what she was really up to and what she really thinks of me. I come to find out that she gushes over me and truly does love me. All that stuff I say about wives secretly resenting and despising their husbands certainly does not apply in my case. This makes the feel like the biggest POS ever because I was expecting for her to be trashing me. Maybe I do need to change my attitude. Not maybe...YES..You do! I hope now you see how much she loves you, and next time you start to feel like you're gonna freak out, remember this thread. Remember that your wife adores and loves you!!! How to change is take control over your fears, insecurities when they hit you. Instead of letting them take over and ruin you, fight it and TELL yourself, "I have an amazing wife at home who loves me! I'm so blessed!" Hopefully now you will begin to really trust her, have faith in your marriage.
quankanne Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 Because every women I have been loyal to before she isn't "every woman," Woggle – she's the one person in your miserable life so far who has given you unyielding loyalty and love. But instead of recognizing the rare and true gem she is, you've done your best to sabotage the relationship. At some point, your worst fear/dearest wish is going to be realized, and the only one to blame will be YOU. at some point you need to shxt or get off the pot when it comes to being fully committed to this woman you've married ... she deserves the best of your love, too, not just the freaked out crap you dole out because you're paranoid she's like "every woman" in your life ...
threebyfate Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 Maybe I do need to change my attitude.It really doesn't matter what we think, Woggle.
Ariadne Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 She actually apologized for not giving me the whole story about my friend...It turns out she had a very good reason but I did not have all the information at first. If you are not talking to your friend anymore because of this, there is going to be a day you are going to resent your wife for it.
Author Woggle Posted December 18, 2009 Author Posted December 18, 2009 I just know that not just myself but every single time I hear of a man trying to come in between his wife and her manhating friends he was callled controlling. Her friends said that she had the right to cheat because she was a strong woman now and not a stepford wife. When I found out the entire story I quickly dropped my friend. If I do not respect my wife than why am I no longer associating with him?
Lishy Posted December 18, 2009 Posted December 18, 2009 Your attitude about women in general stinks Wogs. You are so lucky to have her, I dont even know her, but from what you have said about her she is wonderful and for some reason she thinks you are too! I am glad you have been shamed, not everyone is like you hon!
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