Texas2004 Posted December 16, 2009 Posted December 16, 2009 My girlfriend and I were together for about a seven months when she broke up with me about 2 months ago. There were no fights, abuse, anything like that. Basically, she wanted a stronger commitment to marriage, kids, etc and I at the time was not ready for this. In the time since, she has dealt with some major issues (mainly the loss of her brother in a car accident). It was a very traumatic time, and I have done my best to be there for her as moral support. She has been very open and thankful for me being there for her (her brother was her only sibling). We had started getting closer again (talking, hanging out) without any physical connection. I was actually quite content with this, as I was trying to be supportive and give her some normalcy in her life. However, a few weeks ago, she was talking with me on the phone and brought up out of the blue that she had dated a few guys since the break up - nothing too formal but wanted to know why she had challenges in keeping men interested (as she thought I didn’t have interest in her because I wasn’t ready to commit). Needless to say, I struggled with how to answer. I told her I was upset with how the guy treated her, that she deserved better, but I also indicated some of the challenges we had in our relationship (because she asked). I did however tell her how much more I loved her now and how attractive I still found her, and how I would always be there for her. I also indicated my desire to want to commit now, and work on our relationship. The whole conversation, she really said nothing to me, though I could tell she was crying and a little stunned. She told me I gave her a lot to think about, and we called it a night. Fast forward to now, I haven’t heard anything from her for the past three weeks and am totally confused. Why can’t she tell me what she’s thinking? If I put too much out there, at least tell me that. If she doesn’t have feelings for me anymore, wants to make it clear we can only be friends, has interest in another guy, then tell me that as well. She broke up with me originally so she should be able to at least tell me this. Or, is she wanting to possibly get back together but she doesn’t want to get hurt again? It really bothers me that I opened up my heart to her, and she can’t at least send me a text or email or call, just to let me know what she’s thinking. I mean, she had the courtesy to break up with me in person, why does she now treat me like I don’t exist? Should I just leave it alone and give her space? Any thoughts on what might be going through her head?
WTRanger Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 Should I just leave it alone and give her space? Any thoughts on what might be going through her head? Yes leave it be, you've said what you've needed to say. At this point, it is out of your control. No one but her knows what is going through her head. To be honest, it shouldn't concern you. The only head that you should be concerned with is your own. Why? Because that is the only head that you know what is going through it. The fact that she was wanting a commitment to kids and marriage after only 7 months would cause me to cringe, even if I was madly in love with her. That's a little insecure to start talking that deep of a commitment that early on. In fact, that's probably the reason why guys are not sticking around her. She's asking way too much, way too fast. I understand the, "What are we?" conversation that sometimes happens. But the big M-word and kids? Jesus! That is too much before your one year.
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