vanillabeach Posted December 16, 2009 Posted December 16, 2009 Hi, just a quick question - would you consider it cheating if your husband had a naked woman rubbing herself all over him (yes, in a strip club, private dance) and he came(!!!) while she was busy doing her thing??
Spark1111 Posted December 16, 2009 Posted December 16, 2009 You know what? Here is the question I ask: Would HE consider it cheating if a hot, young stud rubbed themselves all over your body in a private, low-lit room and YOU came? I think, yes. My guideline is this: If he wouldn't do, look at, be with someone while you were standing right next to him, then it's.....cheating. And if not cheating, then it is definitely NOT HEALTHY for your relationship!
yic Posted December 16, 2009 Posted December 16, 2009 I have a clear-cut rule for this: you can look but don't touch. More importantly, why did he request a private "lap" dance?
Author vanillabeach Posted December 16, 2009 Author Posted December 16, 2009 apparently all the guys keep buying them for each other... and that's really my rule as well, but does this still qualify as 'not touching'?
Author vanillabeach Posted December 16, 2009 Author Posted December 16, 2009 I'm sure he wouldn't be happy! I'd do it if it wasn't such a turn off to see these oily guys in their g-strings...
skylarblue Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 Is c*mming from a lap dance cheating? No, but its damn close in my eyes. I was a stripper for about 7yrs and I would have a big problem with my H going to strip clubs. I’d go through the roof if he c*me all over himself while some b*tch was giving him a lap dance. Think about it. Paying some girl he’s attracted to to grind on his c*ck like she’s f*cking him. To me that’s as bad as a hand job. MM don’t even belong in strip clubs. I think men play it down like it’s no big deal in there and women have a view that it’s less intense then it is. Unless it’s a high class gentlemen’s club they’re all pretty bad. It really is a whole different world with only two agendas – getting off and making money. I don’t think I’d like my H engaging in virtual reality interactive porn. BTW there are plenty of MM who hook up with dancers they met at a strip club.
outofthedark Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 He came from another person touching him. Plain and simple, that's betrayal. Doesnt matter what label you give it, it is betrayal.
Once Bitten Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 Cheating--absolutely. If you can't tell your partner about it then it's cheating. Online porn, chat rooms, emails, phone calls. You can cheat on with all of those tools and not physically see another person.
MizFit Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 Cheating--absolutely. If you can't tell your partner about it then it's cheating. Online porn, chat rooms, emails, phone calls. You can cheat on with all of those tools and not physically see another person. Don't take this as any offense OB...I'm just making a point about some of my past posts. In the past I've stated that if someone is going to cheat they can do it a myriad of ways. The OW/OM is irrelevent...if someone has an online affair with 'pamfromamsterdam' how can you blame the OW? The affair is committed by the WS...the ownership of the A is totally on the WS. People can be unfaithful and it's not a real person they're unfaithful with...
gopher Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 What if the stripper had stopped before he came, and whispered in his ear that he could f**K her for $500....as a guy, I know that would be a potential for a really bad decision.
jwi71 Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 if someone has an online affair with 'pamfromamsterdam' how can you blame the OW? The affair is committed by the WS...the ownership of the A is totally on the WS. IF the OM/OW knows the MM/MW is married then the AP is equally responsible. IF the OM/OW continues after learning the MM/MW is married they again own half the affair. IF the OM/OW does NOT know...then he/she has no culpability. Last I checked it was hard to have an A by yourself. You need a willing partner. And this partner is an equal and joint owner of the A.
Samantha0905 Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 My husband has been to a strip club one time and I knew about it -- it was for my daughter's soon to be hubby's bachelor party. I would not want him going without my knowledge, or for that matter at all, unless I was there with him. We have never been to a strip club together. I don't think strip clubs are his cup of tea. He's never been a porn guy. He does appreciate Sports Illustrated's swimsuit issue. :-)
eeyore1981 Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 Hi, just a quick question - would you consider it cheating if your husband had a naked woman rubbing herself all over him (yes, in a strip club, private dance) and he came(!!!) while she was busy doing her thing?? Lol, take away the 'strip club' and the money exchanging hands, and would you even have to ask?
Author vanillabeach Posted December 17, 2009 Author Posted December 17, 2009 well I just mentioned the 'coming' bit because I thought going to a strip club, ie sitting at a table watching some girls from far while they strip is a bit like watching TV... I told him long ago that I wouldn't have a problem with him going to a strip club, thinking that meant going there, sitting at a table with his mates and watching girls on stage (ie far away!) getting undressed. That would have been fine. I don't think he'd like those girls better than me or would want to leave me for one of them etc. So basically I gave him the 'go ahead' to go there and that's how he justified it to himself. But obviously he knew it was wrong, especially a month after our first baby was born! On a different note - do all strippers use body glitter?? My friend keeps finding it on her husband's face and body and he always has a lame excuse. That's how it all came to light btw when I told him about my friend's HB who 'fell asleep in a stripclub' and came home at 5am covered in glitter...
Author vanillabeach Posted December 17, 2009 Author Posted December 17, 2009 Lol, take away the 'strip club' and the money exchanging hands, and would you even have to ask? well he was dressed, which I wouldn't expect him to be if I took away the 'strip club'...
Author vanillabeach Posted December 17, 2009 Author Posted December 17, 2009 Is c*mming from a lap dance cheating? No, but its damn close in my eyes. I was a stripper for about 7yrs and I would have a big problem with my H going to strip clubs. I’d go through the roof if he c*me all over himself while some b*tch was giving him a lap dance. Think about it. Paying some girl he’s attracted to to grind on his c*ck like she’s f*cking him. To me that’s as bad as a hand job. MM don’t even belong in strip clubs. I think men play it down like it’s no big deal in there and women have a view that it’s less intense then it is. Unless it’s a high class gentlemen’s club they’re all pretty bad. It really is a whole different world with only two agendas – getting off and making money. I don’t think I’d like my H engaging in virtual reality interactive porn. BTW there are plenty of MM who hook up with dancers they met at a strip club. sorry, forgot to quote (new to this ;-)), post #15 was in answer to your posting, thanks
eeyore1981 Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 (edited) well he was dressed, which I wouldn't expect him to be if I took away the 'strip club'... Dressed or not, a woman who is not his wife, also dressed or not, was rubbing all over him (edited to add) in a sexual manner and he didn't stop her. Edited December 17, 2009 by eeyore1981
Author vanillabeach Posted December 17, 2009 Author Posted December 17, 2009 He came from another person touching him. Plain and simple, that's betrayal. Doesnt matter what label you give it, it is betrayal. I know, that's the upsetting bit, he sometimes went after work from 5-7pm and then got home as if nothing. How bad is that??!!
Author vanillabeach Posted December 17, 2009 Author Posted December 17, 2009 Dressed or not, a woman who is not his wife, also dressed or not, was rubbing all over him (edited to add) in a sexual manner and he didn't stop her. no he definitely didn't stop her, he encouraged it, because he paid for it...
Author vanillabeach Posted December 17, 2009 Author Posted December 17, 2009 Online porn, chat rooms, emails, phone calls. You can cheat on with all of those tools and not physically see another person. well he DID see the person :-( but yes I agree, as long as it's behind someone's back it is cheating (in a way).
Author vanillabeach Posted December 17, 2009 Author Posted December 17, 2009 What if the stripper had stopped before he came, and whispered in his ear that he could f**K her for $500....as a guy, I know that would be a potential for a really bad decision. ok I guess if she said $500 that would be an antidote of sorts - he's jewish and living up to the 'frugal' standard but I know what you mean, in the heat of the moment would he go along? yes he probably would have (maybe for $50 ) then again, all sorts of things can happen all day, we can't blame him for that, only for what he's really done. or what he has admitted to anyway...
TheLoneSock Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 Strippers are so nasty, what the ****. He must have been doing something in order to climax like that... If he doesn't have a history with you of premature ej., I'd have him explain to you just how it happened.
Author vanillabeach Posted December 17, 2009 Author Posted December 17, 2009 My husband has been to a strip club one time and I knew about it -- it was for my daughter's soon to be hubby's bachelor party. I would not want him going without my knowledge, or for that matter at all, unless I was there with him. We have never been to a strip club together. I don't think strip clubs are his cup of tea. He's never been a porn guy. He does appreciate Sports Illustrated's swimsuit issue. :-) I don't think there is a problem with going to a strip club, or at least what I thought it would be like - women dancing on stage and stripping naked but well out of reach. That's like watching TV and I really don't see anything wrong with that. It's the private dance and him coming while the stripper was rubbing herself against him. That's not on is it??!!
Author vanillabeach Posted December 17, 2009 Author Posted December 17, 2009 Strippers are so nasty, what the ****. He must have been doing something in order to climax like that... If he doesn't have a history with you of premature ej., I'd have him explain to you just how it happened. well I can't say anything about the stripper, haven't seen her and wouldn't blame her, she was just doing her job, and obviously doing it well... I guess he was really focused he wouldn't have been able to do anything I gues, too many bouncers watching the scene. Or so I am told
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