does he like me?

[pink stilettos]

I am married, but feel very attracted to my boss. He is also married. I have tried to deny my feelings, but i can't help the attraction. My question is, do you think he likes me, and if yes, do you think he is after just a fling, or more than that? I haven't told him i like him, infact he probably thinks i don't. We have worked together for eight years, and have always flirted, but it seems more serious recently. In the last six months, i have noticed more attention from him. He always sits with me at lunch, but only when the other managers aren't there with him. He always calls over to me every day, when i've pretended i've not noticed him, and he always finds ways to touch me, like touch my arm or hand, hug me, poke me in the ribs/stomach. He kissed my hand once too. He always asks me to sit on his lap when i go into his office, which i never do. Recently i went on holiday, and when i got back he hugged me and said how much he missed me, but i didn't respond. Every time afterwards i could kick myself, because i like him so much, and i always wish for another opportunity like that to happen again, but each time i don't respond. However i am at the stage now where i know i will respond, especially as he told me he is going to resign after xmas, as he is miserable at work, and has been offered a job in germany. I feel devastated, and desperately want to let him know how i feel, but i don't want to have read the signals wrong, and he's just being flirty. I know it's wrong to cheat, but i have been in love with him for years, and the thought of never seeing him again makes me so sad. Even if it's just a kiss, maybe that would be enough, but i know i will regret it for the rest of my life if i don't do anything. Please give me advice. There are other younger much more attractive single women at work, but he never seems to flirt with them like he does me, which makes me think maybe he just flirts with me because i am married and he thinks i'll think it doesn't mean anything. Also he tells me he has dreams about me, and thinks about me when he's at home. Sorry this is so long!

[Miko]

Ouch. I'm not a fan of getting involved with married people. It might make you feel better to have a brief chat about it with him like a day or two before he leaves. I had a huuuuge crush on a girl that worked for me before but I kept my mouth shut b/c it just seemed inappropriate to me. She actually thought I didn't like her by the time she left b/c I was trying so hard to hide it. Maybe start a conversation with "can I ask you a VERY personal question". Look at it as just plain getting something off your chest, and tell him that. Might make you feel better. Who knows, maybe one day in the distant future if circumstances are right and you both know you're into each other something might happen but marriages, especially two of them, seem sacred to me but I might say something to hopefully get over it.

[imagine]

I respect you for not betraying your husband. Tell him about your feeling for your boss. Possibly there is an emotional need that your husband is not supplying.

 

The feeling that you have is withdrawal. Your boss has definitely been meeting your emotional needs. It was not professional. You're going to miss that.