jessica22 Posted December 16, 2009 Posted December 16, 2009 Hey I have been going out with my boyfriend for 10 months and I live with him and his family.the last couple of weeks we have been fighting quite alot and his trying to stop me from seeing my friend davina because shes telling me to drop antoine and go out with another man She hates the way he treats me coz some times he gets angry and has hit me b4.A couple of nights ago he went out with the boys and didn't come bak till late and we had a tlk bout us spendng 2 much time together and stuff and how it will b good for me to see my friends and have some time away (alone time). the oinly person he didn't want me to see was davina..yesterday i went and left his house early and caught up with davina and spent the day with her..last night my boyfriend said i couldn't come home and because I had chose the slut over him (davina).i wasn't welcome to live with him.i told him that I couldn't stay at her house but he wouldn't listen.davina says i have a mate that will let us stay there for the night and it was a male..we came to the house with a male friend of hers and stayed the night..this morning i came bk home and there were 2 girls at my boyfriends house but he swears they were for his brother and not him.he sed he didn't touch them.He asked where i stayed last night and i lied because i knw how he is and sed that i was at davinas..a couple of hours later i ended up telling him the truth and since then he has accused me of being a liar whcih i admit i lied but cheating with any male that was there i never did..what shud I do to convince him that i reli didn't cheat on him..I love him so much and he keeps saying how cud u do this to me. do u knw how much i love u? but I didn't
NoneoftheAbove Posted December 16, 2009 Posted December 16, 2009 and you believe this crap? that he loves you so much? come on don't be stupid. A person who loves someone so much will not hit no matter how angry he is. I would say run before it's too late, trust plus fights = not a healthy relationship.
Green Posted December 16, 2009 Posted December 16, 2009 This should sort itself out sooner or later you will get so anoyed by him you will leave him and he will consider breaking up with him to be cheating... unless you acidently get pregnant by this guy and the kid gets born and then you may have to deal with him in one form or another for the rest of your or the kids life... If he really thinks you cheated on him, then there is a good chance he is going to or has cheated on you. And it will be imposible to convince him of anything, you can't change people, they have to change themselves
boogieboy Posted December 16, 2009 Posted December 16, 2009 You told him that you two spend too much time together. That is typical double speak for "im breaking up with you soon". Thats why he doesnt believe you, and thats why he had two girls at his house. You wont be able to make him believe you now, especially when you keep hanging out with a girl he doesnt like. You also want to spend more time with your friends, so he will be jealous. What you need to do is break it off with him and get it over with. YOur situation will never get any better.
Dark-Farmer Posted December 16, 2009 Posted December 16, 2009 Sorta funny how he said you couldn't come back to his house the one night two girls came over. Plus him booting you out to find some where to sleep becuase you want to hang out with a friend ... a female friend. He has hit you 10 months in ?!?!? really REALLY bad sign. 10 months isn't to long so think how it will be when your married. But more importantly he should NEVER hit you. period. I'd leave even though i know it will probably hurt. Move back with your parent, becuase by your post it sounds like your not economically stable to live on your own.
reservoirdog1 Posted December 16, 2009 Posted December 16, 2009 Of course your friend Davina is trying to get you to dump your BF. Davina cares about you, and doesn't want you to be with your violent cockroach of a boyfriend long enough to be SERIOUSLY hurt the next time he decides to hit you. Somebody once observed that a woman who gets physically assaulted by her signifcant other is only completely blameless the first time it happens -- because she shouldn't have been there for it to happen a second time. (Sounds a bit harsh, but hopefully you get my gist.) If he's hit you before, HE WILL HIT YOU AGAIN. It's only a matter of time. He sounds like a violent, domineering, controlling piece of shyt. Your friend Davina is looking out for you. Take her advice before your BF does something to you that you might not walk away from.
Author jessica22 Posted December 17, 2009 Author Posted December 17, 2009 yes thankyou for your advice, but i forgot to mention that he took me in when my mother left me to live interstate when i was 16, im now 17 and i can not live with my father because he's a pedophile who has touch me when i was under 10. he is aggressive and avoided getting violent more recently, he doesnt like me hanging around davina because she is a slut, even i say shes a slut, she's seeing someone and sleeps around, we were with one of the guy's she fancy's that night and advised me to go for him. as for the girls at his house, i am friends with one of them and nothing happened with them, whilst i lied of my where-abouts. i just wanted help on how to convince him i didn't cheat. not on weather or not i should be with him. so please help me with my enquiry, not on whether or not i should be with him
boogieboy Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 We already told you, if HE wants to believe you cheated, and you really didnt, theres nothing you can do to convince him otherwise. Either he really believes it or hes saying that to keep you subserviant. And you still shouldnt stay with him, he abuses you. Him taking you in isnt an excuse to deal with the abuse he gives you.
SoulSearch_CO Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 hes saying that to keep you subservient. That`s what I`m thinking.
reservoirdog1 Posted December 18, 2009 Posted December 18, 2009 (edited) yes thankyou for your advice, but i forgot to mention that he took me in when my mother left me to live interstate when i was 16, im now 17 and i can not live with my father because he's a pedophile who has touch me when i was under 10. he is aggressive and avoided getting violent more recently, he doesnt like me hanging around davina because she is a slut, even i say shes a slut, she's seeing someone and sleeps around, we were with one of the guy's she fancy's that night and advised me to go for him. as for the girls at his house, i am friends with one of them and nothing happened with them, whilst i lied of my where-abouts. i just wanted help on how to convince him i didn't cheat. not on weather or not i should be with him. so please help me with my enquiry, not on whether or not i should be with him Sorry to not give you what you seek, but the information you've given us makes it impossible to compartmentalize like that. Davina being a "slut" has nothing whatsoever to do with your cockroach BF physically abusing you. Don't you see what's going on here? This violent, abusive piece of shyt has you completely under his spell. He took you in to escape your family problems. He has you bending over backwards to convince him you didn't cheat on him. He's trying to control which girls you socialize with. And you've posted on this board seeking help in getting this violent, abusive piece of shyt to agree that you didn't cheat on him. Can you not see how sad and twisted that is? Delighted to hear that he's "avoided getting violent more recently." Mad props to him for controlling his fists in the last few weeks. Somebody give him a fycking medal for that. You're in a very pitiable situation to be looking at a guy who physically abuses you and thinking "yeah, but he's wonderful in other ways..." Ted Bundy was supposedly charming, friendly and charismatic. Everybody -- no matter who they are, or how despicable a human being they may be in most respects -- has a few good qualities. That doesn't erase or make up for actions or tendencies that are particularly heinous. Don't you think you deserve somebody who WON'T physically abuse you? There are a lot of guys out there who won't. Please don't get stuck thinking that this violent, domineering piece of shyt is the best you can do. Because one day, he'll put you (or god forbid, your kids) in the hospital. Or worse. Edited December 18, 2009 by reservoirdog1
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