RE : moving on and breaking contact in half a year? [ Its been half a year now. ]

[yourlady]

i cant reply on my old thread coz its past 60 days. so yeah new thread here (:

 

 

firstly, i wanna thank Exit,Sean22 and Art Critic for your replies

 

its Now half a year.

 

after my first post here on the 10June 09 ,reading your encouraging replies and all the other encouraging posts frm the other threads ive never once contacted him . i was on strict NC and even made a promise to never contact him agn.

 

Over these past half year, i went thru massive high and lows in my life. i partied hard, i dated a number of good guys,widen my social circle and have changed a lot- in a good way i would say. i learnt to emphathise with ppl easier now, i spend a lot more time with my siblings and close ones. i slowly became more understanding and even forgave my mum for walking out on my siblings and i 11 yrs ago.

 

2 nights ago, i broke down when the new FB settings allowed me to view all his photos with his gf. i broke down not because he found someone, but because he allowed her to go places and meet his friends he never allowed me to. for 2 yrs i didnt question him much because i respected his decision and thought if he loved me, everything he said goes.

 

i broke down badly, i cried for hrs ,asking myself how come i settled for so little and was very disappointed with myself.

 

the following night, after half a year, he suddenly said hi on msn. our first contact after he walked out on me. i replied graciously and asked how he was doing. we chatted briefly and he ended asking me to party crazy and have fun but always be safe. that was all.

 

for the past half year i imagined thousand over times how i would react if i saw him or heard frm him agn. i would imagine me punching him,be most sarcastic .

but when the time came, i wasnt, him msging me was prolly and i guess most definitely only to validate himself. but i gave it to him anyways.not juz for him but for myself. i forgave him.

 

i saw his pictures . he found someone he love, someone he allowed into his life more then he did to me. someone he was happier with.

and it hurts.

it hurts because i dropped out of sch, my career is at zero now and although ive got suitors, i dun feel anything for anyone.

 

i cried long and hard and am still crying till now, i dunno. maybe ppl think its lame or even dumb. but i feel like ive juz receive a best xmas and bday present ever, i loved him so much,i loved him so much i stuck with him thru his lowest, i could give anything in the world for him. and now that hes happy i sincerely want him to always be blissful and not bear the guilt of how he treated me. i spoke graciously because i want him to know im no longer angry nor bitter , i forgave him - if he want feeling remorseful or guilty of any sort.

 

and in the most cliche way ever, i now understand what it means when ppl say they wish their exes only the best.

 

thanks agn for all who read my posts and replied,thanks for taking ur time and helping in my journey to recovery. im good now ,and someday, i know someone will step into my life and make me realize why everyone else didnt work out.

 

i will be well. take care everyone.

[novack]

Good for you man, its really uplifting to see success stories on LS!

 

Everyone who comes here is at one point or another devastated, at their lowest point and it is awful to see.

 

I hope to one day achieve your mindset, i think its a 3 step process

 

1) lose hope for your ex

2) Forgive your ex

3) Find someone new to rebuild that love they destroyed