Kantor Posted December 16, 2009 Posted December 16, 2009 So its been a month and a half, and while I still have feelings for my ex, she has made it clear that she doesn't have any for me. I'm the type of person who loves companionship and figured it was time to dive back into the pool. Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking for anything other then dates and to move slow and continue to heal. Anyone have any advice on either Match.com or how i should proceed?
kickintheaz Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 hey Kantor, thats a big step and one you should be proud of.. I've heard mixed reports about match, some about getting into 'penpal' scenarios with constant emailing, some people have met complete bunny boilers and some have met lovely women and gone on into relationships with them... I think what you are doing is good though for your confidence. I did it earlier in the year before I told me ex how I felt, I guess the dates helped to reinforce to me how I felt about ex. (whilst providing me with the boost that I was 'dateable'!) Since spilling my guts with her I have not been on it, nor do I intend to be for the moment, I am entering acceptance since tonight that she does not or can not try again and so I will let go of my feelings for her first before I move on fully and seek out other women. I wish you luck though, a coffee/drink here or there is not harmful to oneself.. and then again.. who knows what it may bring!!!! good luck with it..
WTRanger Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 Actually I did the same thing. I signed up for as many dating sites as I could. Truth be told, it taught me a lot. I was stood up many times, had many flop dates, a few ONS, and met generally the craziest people on this planet. It taught me not to invest so much so quickly. It taught me to accept things as they ARE, and not to fear change. I got stood up. So what? I'll live to see the next day. I wasn't compatible with her. So what? There are others out there. Yet at the same time, I've met some amazing people on there. None have progressed into an actual full blown relationship yet, but it is still part of the learning process.
LovelyDaze Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 Actually I did the same thing. I signed up for as many dating sites as I could. Truth be told, it taught me a lot. I was stood up many times, had many flop dates, a few ONS, and met generally the craziest people on this planet. It taught me not to invest so much so quickly. It taught me to accept things as they ARE, and not to fear change. I got stood up. So what? I'll live to see the next day. I wasn't compatible with her. So what? There are others out there. Yet at the same time, I've met some amazing people on there. None have progressed into an actual full blown relationship yet, but it is still part of the learning process. You are healing nicely WTRanger. When you feel really ready to date OP, just know that you will experience what WT experienced. You will get some good eggs and some bad eggs. Just pay attention to those red flags of crazy, smothering, cheating, fake,etc.
WTRanger Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 You are healing nicely WTRanger. When you feel really ready to date OP, just know that you will experience what WT experienced. You will get some good eggs and some bad eggs. Just pay attention to those red flags of crazy, smothering, cheating, fake,etc. Yeah, I'm healing but that doens't mean that it didn't sting to get stood up. Though, after getting stood up, I just called up my brother and went to go get sh*t-housed at a local bar. It's just part of learning to take life's punches. Most of this came from reading some very good books about letting go of things you cannot control. What's nice about online dating is that you just remember that you've just met these people, so what does it really matter if you make a decent connection with them? It is as if you really do have nothing to lose, no matter what the outcome is.
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