eternal.denied84 Posted December 16, 2009 Posted December 16, 2009 well its been close to a month..and i feel it doesnt affect me that much or maybe i am wrong maybe i am trying to console myself or hide my feelings.. if i am thinking of closing this on a good note by dropping her a mail mentioning that now i am okay with the breakup..showing the positive side of me..because during the breakup i acted pathetic and behaved like a big time looser..cried begged..abused and what not.. is it a right step for me to break NC..or will it come as desperate act and act of tricking someone by showing positive side of me. and then this thought comes to my mind that if i am feeling positive or atleast progressing towards moving on why the hell should i show her? why does it affect me that my image should get corrected in her eyes..that i am not a looser? does this mean that i am not yet over her and still want her back?
tryagaintoday Posted December 16, 2009 Posted December 16, 2009 erm.......no. Why do you care about what the dumper thinks about you anymore?
Kantor Posted December 16, 2009 Posted December 16, 2009 Too early! Give it some time and get over it, stick to your guns (someone smart just told me this when i needed it today) I almost broke my NC today, but I didn't. I can't, I've come so far and am not ready to take a step backwards. Don't do it, give it time, and try something new to keep you busy.
jms76 Posted December 16, 2009 Posted December 16, 2009 I think it means that you want her to respond to your statement that you are doing better about the breakup. Basically you are looking for an excuse to contact her in the hopes that she will want to reopen the lines of communication. Unfortunately, this has to come from her. She has to miss you and want to see/talk to you. This is a problem only if you are hoping or waiting around for her to do this. Reality is, it may never happen. Which brings me to my mantra: Hope for the best but expect the worst. Don't break the NC. You may feel bad about how you behaved initially but so what. You're only human and a lot of people on this forum have probably done the same thing at some point in their life. Trust me, I'm speaking from experience:rolleyes: Good luck brother.
XKatieX Posted December 16, 2009 Posted December 16, 2009 If you want to write her a closure message, just telling her that you've accepted it and hopes shes doing well, I don't see anything wrong with that. BUT if you want to write it in hopes of her coming back to you, I would say definitely not, because more than likely it will backfire and just screw up your healing process. Think about really why you want to write it. If you think it will make you feel like a better person by doing so, then by all means..but again without any hopes of her coming back to you.
Kantor Posted December 16, 2009 Posted December 16, 2009 Just becarful about your own feelings. This is hard for me to say because, I want my ex (the dumpee) to open the lines of communication with me. I had to communicate my feelings and know that I did everything I could so Im not going to knock you if you do it. Just know, it slows you down and it makes it hurt more in the short term, the long term it may help you heal quicker knowing you did everything you could and held nothing back. Catch 22 it is indeed. Good luck.
stillafool Posted December 16, 2009 Posted December 16, 2009 Trust me, leave her alone. She dumped you. If she wanted to hear from you she would call. I would move on with my life if I were you. Why do you care what she thinks anymore?
Beeotch Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 well its been close to a month..and i feel it doesnt affect me that much or maybe i am wrong maybe i am trying to console myself or hide my feelings.. if i am thinking of closing this on a good note by dropping her a mail mentioning that now i am okay with the breakup..showing the positive side of me..because during the breakup i acted pathetic and behaved like a big time looser..cried begged..abused and what not.. is it a right step for me to break NC..or will it come as desperate act and act of tricking someone by showing positive side of me. and then this thought comes to my mind that if i am feeling positive or atleast progressing towards moving on why the hell should i show her? why does it affect me that my image should get corrected in her eyes..that i am not a looser? does this mean that i am not yet over her and still want her back? You aren't over it....when you're over it and ready you don't think about emailing the person to tell them that, that is not normal behavior. You are still in the post break-up, deluding yourself mode. When you're over it you don't have to ask if you're over it....
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