jlr Posted December 16, 2009 Posted December 16, 2009 It's been over a year since she broke up with me. I've done everything I can to try to improve myself: dieted and worked out (only to relapse on this stuff too, now I feel I need a diet more than ever), went out with friends, got a new apartment, went to counseling (still going), put all the pain into positive outlets like my music, i'm going back to school for film, etc. I even went on a few dates with this new girl, who seems pretty cool. But it still comes and goes in waves - the pain, the sadness, the longing. I just can't seem to shake it. Sure there's days when I feel ok and am more positive, but sometimes it's still so fresh. Maybe it's the holidays, I don't know. But the last few days I've been sad and having bursts of crying and whatnot. I still miss my ex so bad, it's sorta pathetic. Why am I still hung up on this? Maybe it's because she still pops up here and there wanting to be friends? Maybe I'm just a ****ed up person who's depressed? I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm not laying around wallowing, I'm doing things to try and move forward, yet I still can't. When I think about this new girl, I get sadder sometimes. It's like, I don't know how to do this stuff anymore. I feel numb to it. I'm scared of being hurt. Plus, I still miss someone else. Ugh. Sometimes it really feels like this will never improve for me. Like I'll always be this way now.
dazzle22 Posted December 16, 2009 Posted December 16, 2009 Holidays are extremely difficult to face alone. All you see is couples. That is not all that is out there, but that is all you SEE. Sounds like you are doing all the right things to move on. I think you have to keep putting yourself out there, because I think the best way to really get over someone is to find other people to occupy your mind and time.
DustySaltus Posted December 16, 2009 Posted December 16, 2009 First of all you need to understand that it's ok to be upset about it. You have made strides to better yourself and that is half the battle. You have a lot of love in your heart and that's not a bad thing. Most people wish that they could have that. It comes back, it always does. I understand what you are saying about trust and having your heart stepped on again. Trust me, no one knows about that more than myself. It's been six months for me now after a broken engagement. I started seeing someone else who I know really likes me and she knows my situation. It's been a different type of relationship because we are taking things extremely slow. That's what you need to do jlr, take things one day at a time with no expectations. Give this girl a chance to make a contribution on your road to happiness. After all the stuff that you've been through, you deserve at least that much. I thought when I was engaged nothing could break us apart. I saw an end with her, a family and children. I used to think that she brought out the best in me, but it was ME that brough out the best in myself. When you say, "I'm pathetic because i'm still thinking about her"...it's not. It just shows you are capable of a very strong love. Someone will give you that feeling again, I promise. You just have to believe that it will happen, go with the flow and not force anything. But don't get down on yourself. You're a good dude. Go out with this girl and have a good time. Let us know how it goes.
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