ladyokane Posted December 15, 2009 Posted December 15, 2009 I joined this as a result of doing a google search for curing jealousy...yet what i found here reflects my own story, and I REALLY just want an honest UNbiased 3rd party opinion... After a year of trying to love this man...I have ended up here!!!! wtf! Ok so here it goes... When I met my current man, I was working in a massage parlour(yess yess, I know not ideal for begining a relationship, but I am an independant good looking woman, who is welll educated but sought an easier means to an end...So to be clear- work is work and nothing more....it just pays alot better. So when i met him we spent the most amazing 24hrs together....and when I told him of my job, he backed off right away and disappeared for a week..Understandably, but I relized perhpas it was not my past that bothered him so much as his own... He returned on and off over the next few weeks, and we would literally shut out the world and bond and share stories, for like 3 days sometimes, and then off hed go back to where he was living...For awhile I wondered if he had another relationship, but he didnt..He had recently returned from a year long walk in mexico...I found out later after leaving his on and off gf of 7 years.... We bonded hard and fast, so I thought and although he repeatedly told me he wasnt into monogamy, and that we should have 3somes...(I understood he was coming to me with a Don Juan attitude, but saw it to be more intimacy issues that being an actual dirtbag.... So we spoke of it, and over the 1st 3 months, we were apparently unexclusive, although I was faithful since the day we met...I may work in the sex industry but i am by NO means a slut in my personal life, in fact I am very picky, and dont sleep around....So for me I thought he was the best thing ever...Not jealous of my work...totally open and honest...It took him 3 months to put me on as his gf on bf after alot of me bugging him...He said it was because of his mexican family, and he wanted to keep our private life, private...I said if theres no one on there you want to think you are single, then you have no reason NOT to add me...reluctantly , he did... Early on he spoke of his x- and asked me if i believed in love at 1st sight, and told me about how he was dating a girl and she introduced him to his now X...and from the moment he saw her, he was in love...Anbd 8mths later they ended up together... I said love at 1st sight is BULL****- how cud you possibly know anything about their habits, moods, disorders etc...Puhlllease! lol and I laughed it off... Then I got internet hooked up at my house for him to work...and one day he was in the shower and I saw his chat window open w some girl...and I read that "He was sorry he couldnt make it for coffee, but he was busy taking care of his SICK mother and BOTHER?" WTF! I ALSO saw hed been perusing the casual encounters section on CL.... I got pretty upset and asked him WTF he was DOING basicially LIVING at my house and living OFF me as well, if he was busy persuing other pieces of ASS! He cried and apologized, embarrased for being caught lying-to HER- I told him to take her off IMMEDIATELY...and he did... A couple months later Is he wrote a merry Xmas email to his X(who btw is a taurus, treated him like ****- and I know this because hes a writer and left ALL his journals from over the years at my house- and i read all his beautiful poetic tales of HER and his woes for her unreturned affections---which he LATER used against me saying i invaded his privacy- lol hello you live in MY house lol!- and I wanted to know WHO exactly WAS in my house...) So I didnt think much of it, and hoped to be pined after and treaed with the same love he wrote about for HER! A few months pass and i notice she wrote him on fb...Merry Christmas blah bla...I didnt say anything... We signed a lease together in March, and 4 days after this I ask him about her, and replying to her and WHY she is STILL LOOMING around on fb etc... He says he didnt know, he hadnt replied and wasnt interested...Then i find out he had actually written her a LONG year long catch up email to her, FAILING to even MENTION that I exist and we just signed a lease together- even tho in HER email to HIM- she made it clear at the time she WAS in a relationship and hoped he came to her with noble intent.... At this point he had been living with and off me pretty much since we met in Nov...it was now march and we signed a lease together and I assumed hed be paying half rent....much to my disappointment... I made it CLEAR that day there was NO ROOM FOR HIS X in our relationshiop in ANY way..and demanded it end there... I THOUGHT it was over...he said he was being freindly...although on and off for 7 years makes it painfully obvious to ME they cant just be friends! This sparked a MAJOR jealousy within me starting with the 1st chat i found w the random girl... It has stuck with me,...In the summer i was So paranoid i found myself constantly sneaking around checking his emails and fb and LOOKING for things to catch him with.... I have never trusted easily and I DID trust him in the beginning till he told me not to....anyways then hes like " You dont respect my privacy...you dont trust me, why do you think every contact i have w a woman has to be sexual?(funny he told me all his fb friends hes basically had some kind of sexual contact w in the beginning to "get it out of the way" so they cud be friends...lol he says jeaousy is HORRIBLE and 10 years ago he was drunk and his then gf was jealous and he LOST it and beat her up , then stole her car and tried to kill himself by hitting a tree...HE WALKED AWAY UNSCATHED...and says he will never be jealous again...for any reason, and I shgould do the same...! Anyways during this time he spoke of our future and my son coming home to live w us etc...And the day before my son came home, I found something in an email, i think i imagined to be honest, but he got really mad, and I came home and he was GONE! Took his little brother he just brought over too along w all his stuff(which wasnt much) He owed me about $7000 at that point in rent and food and bills... He returened a week later professing his remorse although said he warned me he would leave because of my jealousy, so he thought it was merited, yet came back to make it up somehow...We went roller blading thast afternoon, and he fell and broke his wrist!!! I felt bad, but was still hurt and angry but invited him to move back in and I would take care of him...It lasted about 10 days till his negativity was such that i couldnt tolerate it anymore and asked him to leave... We were broken up for a month, we barely spoke, he said he was focusing on work so he had something to come back to us with...lol Anyways the day after i took him off as my boyfriend on fb, THERE WAS HIS X- Oh Hi- i miss our friendship blah blah blah! I found out...and asked him if he had contacted her....he denied it... He showed up on my bday tho- with NO present or even a CARD! And refused to sleep w me that night saying he didnt want to lead me on! And later admitted faceto face he HAD spoken to her on the phone only, and briefly...So I lost it and kicked him out again... We started talking again Mid August...after I wrote her a letter explaining WHY she was a wrench in the workd and if she EVER loved him at ALL- to back off and LET HIM MOVE ON! She wrote back assuring me she waas only interested to see if a friendship was even possible and she wouldnt bark up that tree again..." She also went to his mother and told her I worte her(YES they still hang out, and i havent even MET his mother yet, and because of the letter, and my apprent jealousy, she no longer WANTS to meet me!) Everytime I think were back on track i find something...2 weeks ago I read his journal again, hoping to find something NICE about me and us and our 1 yr anniversary we just had...and what did I FIND? a LETTER TO HER!" a thousand days of agony have passed in your silence" " I forever live under the shadow of who were were and who I wished to BE AGAIN??!!! he actually crossed out become and put be again...! I actually FREAKED OUT BEYOND reason..I ripped up his book and I lost my mind...To me it was reading the murder suicide of US with every toxic penstroke, . I realized SHE is the reason weve had NO romance, he doesnt kiss me hardly.(he says it because of my work, but i doubt it- it may be relevant but its like ive been PUNISHED for the last year- conciously DENIED any kind of compassion really...or thoughtfullness...he is a black hole that has a way with words it seems.....I wonder if he wrote it meaning for me to find it at some point. I DEMANDED he get rid of her on fb and ALL contacts...He says he isnt in love w her, but she is still in his HEAD! What the f**K am I supposed to do with that! So.....I set my boundaries and told him either you get rid of her in EVERY WAY(including the letter you carry around from 3 years ago) and GO TO COUNCELLING or consider yourself completely CUT OFF in every way! So what did he do? he shut DOWN his fb account entirely! Spiteful Jerk! CANT LET HER GO! And then a week later i see her liking the pic he put up..I wrote here AGAIN...and he closed his acct...but i saw shes still on his biz group... So am I JEALOUS of a ghost or am I being played for a FOOl? I LOVE him, truly...bsides this I told him hes a sexual and agressive Narcissist, and that his wantings for polygamy are no more than issues with TRUE intimacy...and thats where the root of all of this starts..He told me recently my job DOES in fact bother him....and he wants me to quit...however he has NO income and spends 10hrs a day doing internship for FREE with my good friend i hooked him up with for work and they are launching things ...soon... He says it is MY anger and jealousy that is destroying us....and there is NO one person...yet I AM HAUNTED BY HER- somehow he manifested all this...or did i? Help im really tired of guessing and hoping and TRYING to work with a man who at the end of the day....would rather write to HER than to me... Right now, after the last incident w her...He has decided to move out, has AGREED to get help and has shut down his personal fb profile...but as he says it wont be enough..... and Im not feeling any kind of true loyalty here except the fact he needs me...He loves what I do for him cus I treat him like GOLD for REAL....All I ever wanted was to be loved BACK! Why is this happening and HOW do I STOP IT? I believe in transcendance, and Im trying to believe in love....I am allowing him to move into the condo for a couple months to see if we can work this out no living together... He WAS everything i ever wanted. he says he wants to share in the learning and growing, but doesnt know why he doesnt feel romance within...for anyone, although he used to be...anyways maybe if he treated me with some thoughtfullness, id be more self confident, instead of believeing he wants everyone BUT me... I welcome male AND female opinions on this... by thew way his status has remained single on fb since we broke up in july..he deleted his account only last week.. Im considered gorgeous...men fall at my feet...why do I ONLY want him, and why is HE the ONLY man I felt connected with right from the moment we met? When I found his pining lost lost letter to her ...he could sense i weas upset, and later said I knew something was wrong but I havent done ANYTHING ...he says his thoughts just flow, and it didnt mean anything, nor does he want her back...Hes had AMPLE time both BEFORE we met and when we broke up to DEAL with this, but he didnt, hes denied it all along, and now even if she SINT a THREAT, my REACTIONS to all of this ARE..I feel like ive been put through the ringer, even tho many times what i thought id found were nothing more than my overactive imagination, and it was proven... Im starting to question my own sanity here, and i am pretty intuitive overall...he assures me he wants to do everything..with me...and that I am causing this crisis over and over by NOT respecting his privacy or trusting him at all...I say why is there ALWAYS SOMETHING to find?
imagine Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 You are addicted to this guy. He sounds addicted to his G/F and you were a fill-in. Sex at this time causes confusion. There is way too much drama in this relationship. What ever happened to the just hanging out relationships with friends. We have an expression in this country -"Gou ryp, gou vrot" Directly translated - "Quickly ripe, quickly sour". I do not think that he got over her. Your engagement with him escalated too rapidly without him resolving his x. His bad choice and shows you no respect. Leave him alone and let him unravel his own demons. You sound pretty fiery, no wonder guys fall at your feet.
Author ladyokane Posted December 17, 2009 Author Posted December 17, 2009 Well he had his 1st councelling session yest apparently, where only after beong brushed off most of the day was I informed of his lack of interest in us...The last few times hes come over, hes basically glued himself to the computer or fallen asleep, instead of actually hanging out and being happy to see me....To be honest I shouldnt even let him live at the condo for the $400 rent he can afford to pay of the $1300 a mth it costs! I dont need the $ that bad really, and thank you IMAGINE , I have been Hoping desperately someone would respond and help me step outside of the immediate emotional end , and shed some light on whats REALLY going on here! He told his cuncelleor everything apparently and yet all she had to say when he told her i found his writing to her, was it was MY fault for invading his privacy????!! WTF!!! After a YEAR of being with him, i find in and around our 1 yr anniversaryy him writing a journal entry TO and ABOUT HER?!? Yet he swears hes not in love w her anymore and he doesnt want her back...which if he did im sure he would have by now... I read in another post under a similar situation that maybe shes in his head because old fears have come up in new love, and he doesnt want to lose me the same way....i mean why does HE Keep coming back to ME? is it the $, the comfort or do you think he really in his heart of hearts, WANTs to love me and work thru these issues that with a little effort and focus, could be easily resolved... He cant even really look me in the eye these days, he hasnt made any $ in a YEAR and since he broke his wrist has been on welfare... meanwhile i turned downa good guy that found me online w a 99% personality match...but i didnt feel the same spark..and so left it at that... i DONT WANT to be in love w a ROBOT anymore! HELP! He said yesterday its that i DEMANDED he cut her OUT of his life that is bothering him deep down, that hes angry about...as he doesnt cut out anyone....well im SORRY to ME SHE is a CANCER to love....!!!!!!! Why do i cry to the bone over this man, and yet he walks away at every opportunity to come over and hug me.... ?
imagine Posted December 18, 2009 Posted December 18, 2009 What happens if you enlarge your male social crowd? He sounds like a spare wheels right now!
Woman In Blue Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 Wow - you've completely managed to swallow your pride because it's quite clear you have none left. You aligned yourself with a dishonest, cheating, lying, sneaky, lazy, using, abusive jerk and want to know how to control your jealousy???? How about wanting to know why you'd disrespect yourself SO much that you'd be willing to waste your time with this toxic loser? I'm actually embarrassed FOR you that you're so willing to sink to this unbelievable low in your life just to try to keep this creep. He thinks NOTHING of living off you (because you let him) and not contributing a single dime. What kind of a complete LOSER thinks nothing of letting a woman support him? While this scumbag is mooching off you and letting you pay all the bills, he's scouring the ads on Craigs List to see where he can dip his wick next. REPULSIVE LOSER. I wouldn't let this creep take my garbage out - I couldn't imagine wasting one single minute on such a worthless loser. His ex girlfriend is the LEAST of your worries. He's a user, he beat a woman up (how do you abide this???) so he's an abuser, he has zero respect for you and he's going to CONTINUE sucking you dry until you finally smarten up and kick his loser ass to the curb. He says it is MY anger and jealousy that is destroying us.... LMAO!!! Oh, that's rich. It's this loser's complete LACK of ethics and morals that's ruining things. And your inability to throw him back down into the sewer he crawled out of, of course. He WAS everything i ever wanted. he says he wants to share in the learning and growing.. Oh brother. The only "learning" this jerk wants to partake in is how to scam a woman for every penny she's worth - while he continues acting like he's single, of course. Spare me. What a loser. Im starting to question my own sanity here, and i am pretty intuitive overall...he assures me he wants to do everything..with me...and that I am causing this crisis over and over by NOT respecting his privacy or trusting him at all...I say why is there ALWAYS SOMETHING to find? Please tell me you're kidding me? I wouldn't believe this loser if he told me the sun was out - I'd have to go outside and look myself. Hey, if you want to continue being used as a meal ticket and being constantly humiliated, embarrassed, disrespected and cheated on by someone of THIS low calibre, have at it. According to your second post, the loser is now sucking off the taxpayers collecting welfare, instead of sucking off of you. Gosh, what a catch he is. Maybe we'll all get lucky and this leech will be deported back where he came from. Problem solved.
bittersweet memories Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 Wow - you've completely managed to swallow your pride because it's quite clear you have none left. You aligned yourself with a dishonest, cheating, lying, sneaky, lazy, using, abusive jerk and want to know how to control your jealousy???? How about wanting to know why you'd disrespect yourself SO much that you'd be willing to waste your time with this toxic loser? I'm actually embarrassed FOR you that you're so willing to sink to this unbelievable low in your life just to try to keep this creep. He thinks NOTHING of living off you (because you let him) and not contributing a single dime. What kind of a complete LOSER thinks nothing of letting a woman support him? While this scumbag is mooching off you and letting you pay all the bills, he's scouring the ads on Craigs List to see where he can dip his wick next. REPULSIVE LOSER. I wouldn't let this creep take my garbage out - I couldn't imagine wasting one single minute on such a worthless loser. His ex girlfriend is the LEAST of your worries. He's a user, he beat a woman up (how do you abide this???) so he's an abuser, he has zero respect for you and he's going to CONTINUE sucking you dry until you finally smarten up and kick his loser ass to the curb. LMAO!!! Oh, that's rich. It's this loser's complete LACK of ethics and morals that's ruining things. And your inability to throw him back down into the sewer he crawled out of, of course. Oh brother. The only "learning" this jerk wants to partake in is how to scam a woman for every penny she's worth - while he continues acting like he's single, of course. Spare me. What a loser. Please tell me you're kidding me? I wouldn't believe this loser if he told me the sun was out - I'd have to go outside and look myself. Hey, if you want to continue being used as a meal ticket and being constantly humiliated, embarrassed, disrespected and cheated on by someone of THIS low calibre, have at it. According to your second post, the loser is now sucking off the taxpayers collecting welfare, instead of sucking off of you. Gosh, what a catch he is. Maybe we'll all get lucky and this leech will be deported back where he came from. Problem solved. Wow..."Woman In Blue"...excellent excellent excellent. You toke the words right out of my mouth. I could not of said it better myself. This person is lacking self-respect. Good Luck!
torranceshipman Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 Well lets see...you had to bug him into calling you his girlfriend, he's lied to you pretty much the whole time you've been together, is unemployed and lives off of you and owes you $7k, beat up his ex girlfriend, writes love letters to his ex and tries to make you have threesomes. You are INSANE to even keep him around as an 'ex that you are friends with'. He is a big a**hole. As you are a beautiful and have men falling at your feet, pick the next nice one up and start dating him and seriously girl never put up with this level of bullcrap again.
Brightmoon Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 You are addicted to this guy. He sounds addicted to his G/F and you were a fill-in.........Leave him alone and let him unravel. his own demons. You sound pretty fiery, no wonder guys fall at your feet. I agree with imagine. You are addicted to him and you have to find a way to crack that addiction. I guess moving on is the last thing you can bare to think of right now, but I wonder what you have in mind that will help you move away from the idea of this guy. You have a lot going for you. Why is he such a pull for you? What is it he has that you cannot let go? All the best wonderful Ladyokane.
Author ladyokane Posted December 19, 2009 Author Posted December 19, 2009 well i was married for almost 9 years....and then single for 3.5yrs when i met him...I dont know, it was an energy thing...We had a deep soul connection from day 1....He has been afraid of it the whole time, knowing full well hed have to GROW UP...and so has skirted around the entire time...hes run away more times than i can count...he has MAJOR intimacy issues....but 90% of the time when we are together we get along famously, we laugh, talk, share and have been pretty insperteble overall...I dont KNOW I think i fell in love with his writing...and im addicted not to him perse but the outcome i desired...He has done NOTHING - absolutely NOTHING to keep me, except conforming to my demands when i find out whats up...To be FAIR he says and ive check he hasnt done ANYTHING in months....and now it is just in my head, living in the past....Even the letter to the X was explaineed away as nothing more than free flow writing... Last night he was on fb again, didnt delete his account afterall...and I saw he STILL hadnt removed her after 3 WEEKS of this ****ing bull****! I mean REALLY if you dont give a ****, and never contact her then WHAtS the PROBLEM ?any ways I was kind of drunk last night and in text finally got him to DELETE HER from his fb account....which even if we never get back together is REALLY too little too late at this point, i really cant DO this anymore....and now thanks to you guys and your HONEST opinions I can see that my intuition IS right, and he HAS been using me...this is not love....I guess he only ever LOVED HER! So much for having a happy holiday this year ....
bittersweet memories Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 (edited) We had a deep soul connection from day. You seem to continue to make excuses for this guy. First of all soul connection (soulmates) this should not be mistaken for abusive, co- dependent, or other toxic relationships that people can find themselves in. In soul relationships there is conflict in the sense of a push pull way of thinking, but underneath the love and respect are there always. You are being challenged in the way you think about things but you are not belittled or abused in any way. Sorry to say but this relationship is far from being a soul connection. Do yourself a favor and move on. I know its easier said than done but atleast try. Good Luck!! Edited December 19, 2009 by bittersweet memories
Author ladyokane Posted December 19, 2009 Author Posted December 19, 2009 WoW....That was intense....lol...THANK YOU because Ive been feeling like this all along...I didnt know tho that it was THIS bad till your reply...You are right...i have NO pride left...I am mortifyingly embarrased I have ended up in this position myself...Moreover and truthfully I am v SAD that this is all there is....after a YEAR of my blood sweat and tears...I have truthfully hoping for a more compassionate reply , and i didnt try to portray him in a bad light...as he says he was honest from the beginning about what he was like...I thought Id be worth growing up for....Im tired of wondering and worrying...and feeling SO alone...whether he is here or not...it feels the same ...I feel raped almost...
Author ladyokane Posted December 20, 2009 Author Posted December 20, 2009 i feel BAD...for him really...I dont want him to be homeless ..we get ALONG, we are best friends...i enjoy his company more than anyones except my son of course We are very parallel in many ways, but I just CANT seem to forgive his rather minor indescretions- meaning im ALWAYS suspicious of what hes REALLY up to, in my mind.... ie replying to cl ads early on before we were really a "couple"...chatting to that girl early on......To be honest since he returned i...Sept there really hasnt been anything major until I read that letter he wrote about and specifically to .his X..3 weeks ago- another part read..."So this page is dedicated to you...my words cause you to dance on this page ...blah blah BLAH!!! I dont think ive ever read anything MORe devastating...my whole everything crumbled...we JUST had our 1 yr anniversary a week before! Where he bought me a fountain pen and a book..and....It all seemed so WRON! Now I REGRET reading his book at all...I wish i never knew...moreover iwish hed never written it....so does he...
xpaperxcutx Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 Stop making excuses for him. His indiscretions were neither minor nor forgivable. You're a self-sufficient woman, but yes, you really have to wonder about your mentality and sanity to put up with him.
bittersweet memories Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 i feel BAD...for him really...I dont want him to be homeless ..we get ALONG, we are best friends...i enjoy his company more than anyones except my son of course We are very parallel in many ways, but I just CANT seem to forgive his rather minor indescretions- meaning im ALWAYS suspicious of what hes REALLY up to, in my mind.... ie replying to cl ads early on before we were really a "couple"...chatting to that girl early on......To be honest since he returned i...Sept there really hasnt been anything major until I read that letter he wrote about and specifically to .his X..3 weeks ago- another part read..."So this page is dedicated to you...my words cause you to dance on this page ...blah blah BLAH!!! I dont think ive ever read anything MORe devastating...my whole everything crumbled...we JUST had our 1 yr anniversary a week before! Where he bought me a fountain pen and a book..and....It all seemed so WRON! Now I REGRET reading his book at all...I wish i never knew...moreover iwish hed never written it....so does he... Huh?? Unbelieveable!! I think you need help. You should see seek some help. Seriously!
Author ladyokane Posted December 21, 2009 Author Posted December 21, 2009 Well he is supposed to be coming over later this evening...I have arely spoken to him since last week...He called me up last night and asked me what I was doing, I told him "making dinner" He said Oh ya what are you making? lol He is now living with his bachelor friends..the same people whos couch he was sleeping on when we met...he has used it as a refuge every time we have fought and he has left...Now today I see on his FB "Where there is beer, there should be cheer:....his friends all went home for Xmas.....so Im sure hes pretty lonely even though he says he hates Xmas...he disappeared last year ...was hoping for a different outcome this year...But even the other day he told me he received a bottle of wine and chocolates from his team as gifts....he mentioned this ONLY AFTER he already drank it and ate it ALL!!!...I dont UNDERSTAND how someone can be SO FREAKING SELFISH! I mean I buy wine and chocolate and share it w HIM...And yet I dont even come to mind?? at XMAS?????? Yet he wants to move into the condo still? Shakes head... I MUST be on CANDID CAMERA right? sighs...
Ariadne Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 Im not feeling any kind of true loyalty here except the fact he needs me...He loves what I do for him cus I treat him like GOLD for REAL....All I ever wanted was to be loved BACK! Why is this happening and HOW do I STOP IT? Yes, that's all there is. And I see you repeating over and over that you demanded that it'd stop and thought it did but it didn't. That is what people do when they want to tell themselves that something is taken care of, when they only made the problem bigger. It will only stop when he wants to, and he doesn't seem to want to.
dreamergrl Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 You have let this guy treat you this way for so long. You keep welcoming him back. You ask for the drama to continue. I think you both are screwed up in the head. And did I read right? You had your son come to live with you to go through all this crap with you? I hope he's grown and realizes that this isn't normal.
Author ladyokane Posted December 22, 2009 Author Posted December 22, 2009 (edited) I am no longer "welcoming him back" ...I havent seen him in over a week...I have barely spoken to him...He left 3 weeks ago almost..i have only seen him twice...BOTH times he was sullen and went to sleep on my couch, over a week ago...My son has a life of his own and hasnt been involved in this as much as one would think......the reason im here is because I dont have anyone to talk to really....and i felt alone...He was supposed to come over tonight, but I have found other things to keep myself busy....its Xmas, im trying to be happy w my son Edited December 22, 2009 by ladyokane added text
imagine Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 Can you make contact with family or friends to share this time?
Author ladyokane Posted December 22, 2009 Author Posted December 22, 2009 Well to be honest im rather embarrased im even in this situation let alone go around making it the topic of xmas conversation lol...shrugs...just sad to know he really doesnt give a flying **** about my who i am, what i need and desire, or my feelings...and that was the 1st and LAST time i have EVER taken care of ANY so called MAN...i REALLY thought in the end id be wirth the effort...shakes head...sighs...how does one live with that over $10k in...and a year of time, and 110% effort in vain??? Yuanih has bled me DRY of my hope, love, desire, will, self respect, pride, money, time, grace, goodness and my belief that anyone out there will ever truly see me and wish to enhance my light, as I do for others...instead of put it out all the while telling me he's trying to help me!...afterall im not getting any younger...and i dont want to end up bitter and cold and unwilling and incapableof love like him...Funny his motto for his bizness is Live to Give! hahahahaha what a joke! Live to TAKE is FAR more accurate...He speaks of empowering people..motivation manifestation, pznluv!!! I kid you not...he actually BELIEVES he is that person, but i guess it just doesnt apply TO ME! the 1 woman WHO DARED believe in him...dream w him, help him and love him...! We are HYZstory now! Hes a CON MAN and a fraud of soul...nothing more, im sad to say...Im done with mexican PARASITES! I wonder how manyother women hes conned out of their $ and love and ENERGY and GOODNESS over his vagabond years in between getting back together with his X..... But that doesnt mean im not deeply hurt...and hollow...he took EVERYTHING i valued and **** on it over and over explaining it all away...or just being totally silent...i think thats the worst...when your mind has to fill in the blanks, and then you get yelled at for appartently getting it all "wrong"? lol....like he gave me all his passwords and then when id find " When we were broken up in the summer he told me of how he spent and evening w a "friend"...and nothing happened...then i found the email where he refers to her as his piscean lover"! and says, he meant lover of life! lol...Im a FOOL and i feel it through and through...I bet im not the first...
imagine Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 He is not worth your anger. Anger means you still care about him. Stop caring. Care for your kid. With all this anger hanging over you it's hard to focus on Christmas. I'm going to stop writing after today for the season activities. I wish this for you: Merry Christmas!
Author ladyokane Posted January 25, 2010 Author Posted January 25, 2010 I have been TOLD after I wrote this and tried to have #23 comment - his 1st name removed, that I am now supposed to and for legal purposes...recind this entire thread, or be sued by his lawyer for apparently $50,000! I have tried to contact the site managers 2x now and requested this last post be removed, but got no reply... Even tho there are NO last names mentioned, NOR biz contacts or anything else..now im being threatned for sharing my experience of him of here and trying to get an ubiased 3rd partyy opinion...!?? wtf its not even slander...or defamation of charachter, that would be telling lies about someone...I was merely looking for honest opinions on my circumstances... If you could sue someone for using 1st names alone wouldnt everyone be in court????? Funny he says his biz lawyer wants to sue me...and says that because we DONT have a contract for the 10,000 he admittedly owes me...i am supposedly screwed for writing this?? Hmmm... This is my LEGAL STATEMENT- I ladyokane have tried to contact the admins of this site 2x to have this post removed, with no reply...so if you wish to sue ANYONE SUE this site...I didnt know I wasnt able to delete or edit my post...there is NO warning of its permanence on the site itself... and I highly doubt theres enough to sue me with a first name only...This thread was done mid December...shrugs...anyy suggestions?
imagine Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 Even tho there are NO last names mentioned, NOR biz contacts or anything else..now im being threatned for sharing my experience of him of here and trying to get an ubiased 3rd partyy opinion...!?? wtf its not even slander...or defamation of charachter, that would be telling lies about someone...I was merely looking for honest opinions on my circumstances... If you could sue someone for using 1st names alone wouldnt everyone be in court????? Funny he says his biz lawyer wants to sue me...and says that because we DONT have a contract for the 10,000 he admittedly owes me...i am supposedly screwed for writing this?? Hmmm... This is my LEGAL STATEMENT- I ladyokane have tried to contact the admins of this site 2x to have this post removed, with no reply...so if you wish to sue ANYONE SUE this site...I didnt know I wasnt able to delete or edit my post...there is NO warning of its permanence on the site itself... and I highly doubt theres enough to sue me with a first name only...This thread was done mid December...shrugs...anyy suggestions? I'm curious how he got to know about this site. I'm not in your country, but I would assume that any suing would be a frivolous application. In which case -sue them.
Author ladyokane Posted June 8, 2010 Author Posted June 8, 2010 (edited) going going gone Edited June 9, 2010 by ladyokane content deletion
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