thatguy85 Posted December 15, 2009 Posted December 15, 2009 (edited) Hi everyone. I'm in a tough situation. I have been dating a few different girls since divorcing my wife, and I came to realize last night that I am not happy. I am not happy because I don't know what I want in my love life... I have no goals. (By the way I'm 24, no kids) Ex-wife: I miss what we used to have. She did some bad things that I've already discussed on this forum, which prompted me to leave her... I would never want her back... but I miss what we had. I miss coming home to someone who loved me... having someone to talk to all the time... someone to snuggle with and hold (Lame, I know). You get the point. Girl #1: I've been seeing her for a few months now and like her a lot. She has a ton of baggage herself (including a child with a man who dumped her with no closure for whom she still isn't completely over). We have grown to an odd point where I just enjoy her being around and spending time with me. We haven't done much physical besides kissing, holding, etc... and she likes that I don't pressure her and force the issue. We are friends who like each other a lot... but not boyfriend/girlfriend. She is wrong for me for so many reasons... but part of me wants a relationship with her, while part of me realizes it will only wind up hurting both of us. She has already told me that shes really into me, and if it weren't for our situations, we'd be perfect. Girl #2: I've known her for a couple years. We are friends and she is hot, funny, good to talk to about my problems, knows a lot about Girl #1 (from my stories). She recently told me shes liked me for a while, even when I was with my wife. She never did or said anything out of respect, but since I am no longer with the ex-wife, she had to get it off her chest. We went out for dinner and drinks one night which lead to.... you know. She has been the only girl I've been with in bed since my ex. It was great, and I want to do it again (and she has hinted the same), but no part of me wants a relationship with her. I can't explain why, but I am just not interested in being serious with her. I've gone on random dates with a few other girls, but nothing has really come of those. I have friends telling me to "Just go out, and have fun"... but I'm tired of chasing, wining and dining, and playing the whole "game". I don't think I'm bad at the game, as I've probably gone out with double digit different women in the past month or so.. but it's tiring. I also don't want to settle down, because I'd be crazy to want that... right? I mean I just got out of a heart-breaking emotional rollercoaster this year... I can't jump into anything serious right now. So as I laid in bed last night depressed about my life, wanting to run away and move somewhere else... My friend calls me. He asks me "Well dude... what are you trying to do? Find a girlfriend? Have sex with as many women as you can? What??".. and that's just it. I don't know. I have no goals... and it's killing me. Can anyone give me any insight on how to fix this? Edited December 15, 2009 by thatguy85
Author thatguy85 Posted December 15, 2009 Author Posted December 15, 2009 Not sure if you're joking or not, but I actually have been considering that.
boogieboy Posted December 15, 2009 Posted December 15, 2009 What you want is a steady girlfriend, someone to tell you they miss you who isnt crazy. I feel your pain. But you dont want to go through the crappy dates to get to her. Dealing with multiple women is a chore. Maybe relax on dating for a while till you feel the URGE to try again, or until one nice young lady happens upon you? What sucks is alot of girls your age want slightly older guys, or they want to have fun.
InspiredbyYou Posted December 15, 2009 Posted December 15, 2009 I think you just need a little more time to yourself to heal your heart and to get over your past. It's understandable that you would miss what you had not necessarily the woman and the bad things she did to you. It sounds like neither of the women you are with now are right for you, and finding that right partner, the kind of partner who will not only be your lover but also your best friend and companion is not easy to find. Having said that, it is not impossible either you will find her again. Give it time, you have so much time. On a side note, thank you for sharing your story as it helps me understand my man better (he is divorced too) and at times I feel he is moving too fast but I can see where that stems from.
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