mommy2kiera Posted December 15, 2009 Posted December 15, 2009 I guess if you look at my previous posts you can read what is going on but my husband has decided he wants to split. It really comes as a bad time as this was two weeks before Christmas and now we think my dad has had a stroke and he is really my only family so just that in itself I am on the verge of a breakdown. He says he wants it over still but then I ask if he is not willing to work on it and he tells me he doesn't know. Yet he will call me and want to chat and just this morning he looked thru my GPS at my recent searches and found where I went to his moms house to talk to her and called to question me. He will still ask where I am going and what I am doing. It just doesn't make any sense, I don't know if he really wants this or is mad, or just wants me to change? I am so lost and my mind is in a million places, I don't know what to do anymore.
imagine Posted December 15, 2009 Posted December 15, 2009 Believe actions, not words. Meet his emotional needs and DO NOT lovebust. See marriage builders articles. Call back directly.
Author mommy2kiera Posted December 15, 2009 Author Posted December 15, 2009 Thanks for the reply! I have been reading some information on the Marriage Builders website, very interesting.
2sunny Posted December 15, 2009 Posted December 15, 2009 It just doesn't make any sense, I don't know if he really wants this or is mad, or just wants me to change? what doesn't make sense? what is it that he wanted to change? my husband has decided he wants to split this seems like he's already made a decision. what was the reason? is he seeing someone else? maybe you should find out if he is... either way, he no longer should have access to anything... HE decided it's over, so HE is no longer privy to YOUR whereabouts. if he asks anything - i would answer with "stop checking on me, it's NONE of YOUR business" he gave up the right to know anything when he bailed on HIS committment to YOU.
Author mommy2kiera Posted December 16, 2009 Author Posted December 16, 2009 Hello, Thanks for your reply! Sorry I wasn't very detailed in my explanation. My husband says I am jealous and controlling(although our MC even said herself that he thinks everything is control even when it isn't). I had a huge problem with his mom getting in our marriage and even verbally abusing him at which I took to heart, to me if it is something that would hurt my H it hurt me too. Last week she wrote him an email telling him that his life meant nothing and people made fun of him because of his cleft palate. I was irate to say the least that she would do that to him(they adopted him when he was 13). What made it worse is that my H acted like it was nothing and called HER to apologize that she felt that way. I was so angry that since I knew her email password I signed on and forwarded him a message she had wrote about him to her biological daughter basically saying my H was worthless. It was a huge mistake I know but I was so angry at that point I made a bad decision. I even went over there yesterday and apologized to her face to face for what I had done. He says that pushed him over the edge, since my jealousy was so "out of control". He wants me to not control or question him basically about anything. We have been in marriage counseling since the end of August and now he says that since it hasn't helped we need to split. He just up and changed all of a sudden wanting it over. I don't think there is anybody else but who knows really. The phone is in my name so I could log in and see his call detail. I just don't think he has the time in between work and being at home. He is still staying at the house which he says that by staying that is all he will do as far as trying goes. This morning he borrowed my car as he has a truck and couldn't fit more than two people and he called me wanting to know why I had went to his moms house. He had been looking thru my GPS to see where all I had been recently. You're right, I do need to tell him that is my business. He certainly doesn't concern himself with letting me know where he goes. He just called me a few minutes ago telling me that I screwed him over again because he talked to his mom earlier. Last night I told her I wouldn't bring up to H that I had been there because I didn't find it as his business that I went. Well, when he called questioning why I went I told him I went and apologized but to not call his mom because I didn't want to make anything worse(she is very dramatic). I knew he would bring it up to her so I emailed her and told her he knew that I came that way she would know when he called. Sure enough when he called it got brought up. He got mad because he acts like I told him to act like he didn't know, when I asked him just to not bring it up because I wanted to let things be. Long story , sorry, but thanks again for the reply.
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