I'm 32 years old and never been in a serious relationship, how do I approach women?

[bbasher75]

The funny thing is I attract 9's and 10's based on my appearence alone. The guys in my office space never believe me when I say I'm kind of inept at picking up chicks. "Sure Mr. Good Looking" is a typical response.

 

OK so while I can attarct 9's and 10's, after the 1st date I can see the initial interest in their eyes disappear, and they then want to be "friends". This is due to my terrible conversational skills and general shyness/awkwardness.

 

I want to change my life but I'm not sure if it's too late for me. I've slept with 1 woman, several times, back in my early 20's. We saw each other for a period of about 3 or 4 months and she was about an 8 I would say. Surprisingly I really had no issues in the bedroom. I could last a while and things like that. But I'm not terribly experienced so this is something else I worry about. How would a woman who wants to sleep with me, handle me not knowing my way around the bedroom too well?

 

OK but heres the thing: How do I deal with this when meeting a woman my age who's been through a lot of relationships and has much more experience dating than I do? Just now am I starting to break through a little bit in the dating world, but I'm intimidated and have a lot of catching up to do.

 

I just don't know how relationships work. This is going to sound so retarted, but can people here with experience tell me how dating and relationships work? What are things you do to make a relationship grow? Ideas for going out/dates? Little things I have to do to nuture a growing relationship?

 

I feel as if when I go on dates with these women, especially the 9's and 10's, they can see my inexperience 10 miles away. And its over before it starts. What can I do about that? I cant go back in time to my teens and start over. So what can I do now? Again, the things I have going for me are a pleasent face and physically, I keep in very good shape. Thanks!

Edited December 15, 2009 by bbasher75

[meerkat stew]

If you are really good looking, but lacking experience, consider trying online dating. You are the perfect age for it as a man. You can get comfortable talking with women via Email, on the phone and then in person and meet more women faster and get more experience efficiently than any other method. Just be careful not to fall in love with the first woman you feel a connection to and try holding off on any relationships generally until later after you have gotten the experience you want.

[bbasher75]

If you are really good looking, but lacking experience, consider trying online dating. You are the perfect age for it as a man. You can get comfortable talking with women via Email, on the phone and then in person and meet more women faster and get more experience efficiently than any other method. Just be careful not to fall in love with the first woman you feel a connection to and try holding off on any relationships generally until later after you have gotten the experience you want.

 

I don't know much about online dating but here are my concerns:

 

1. Would people I know see my face there? Or just the prospective dates? I dont want to risk looking pathetic.

 

2. Attraction is improtant to me, I wont lie. Are the women on some of these sites physically appealing at all?

 

3. Whats the best online dating sites?

 

Thanks for your honest answers.

[temple]

Uh, I don't think it's the lack of experience you should be worrying about. I'm guessing these women are looking for something that they aren't seeing in you. I'd work on that. It's natural to be nervous - try treating the date as you would treat a friend: be natural, take it easy, talk about your life experiences, your ambitions, your aims, ask HER about her life (many men get bogged down in talking about themselves so make sure you always direct the conversation back to her!) If you sound genuinely interested in them I'm sure there will be another date.

[boogieboy]

What do you talk to these women about on these dates?

 

What is it that you tell them when you see their faces lose interest?

Its got to be something youre saying.

 

And for god sake, NEVER tell them youve never had a relationship. ACT like youve got too much experience. Let them think you know what youre doing. Thats what they assume.

[jw90063]

Aren't you the one that suddenly created all those threads the other day. I think I recall one related to social anxiety. If so, that right there is your answer. That will impact your life, and totally explains why you haven't been in a serious relationship. Perhaps, you need some to seek some treatment for that before pursuing a relationship.

[boogieboy]

Oh yes, you get nervous and you ramble on incoherently.

 

Well you just have to go on more dates and tell yourself theres no reason to be nervous...the woman you are dating is probably nervous too. You breathe and relax on the date, you dont ramble on, and you might even look up some interesting topics to talk about before you go on the date, which might help you.

[carhill]

1. Stop rating women by numbers. It's not important to know who you're 'pulling' by a subjective rating system.

 

2. Try going to a foreign country where you don't understand the language. It makes you understand there are many languages of human connection. It changes you.

 

The other advice you've received makes good sense. I'm unconventional.

[Yukikazi]

1. Would people I know see my face there? Or just the prospective dates? I dont want to risk looking pathetic.

This argument always amuses me..

Think about it.. Who are you afraid is going to see you? Your guy friends? Not unless they are looking for guys to date.. Your girlfriends?? well they must be searching the site for a reason themselves. Anyone that were to see you probably wouldn't say anything or admit they were on the site also.. Mutually Assured Destruction... don't sweat it