catielady Posted December 15, 2009 Posted December 15, 2009 Okay guys, this may end up being a long story, I have trouble leaving out the details. But I really need some advice! My boyfriend and I of 2 years are on the verge of breaking up, because he can't seem to stop innapropriate conversations with other girls online. It's not as bad as you think, but enough to right piss me off. He will leave attractive girls very flirty picture comments on myspace and facebook, calling them hot, sexy, just being overly complimentary and flirty in a way he should not be doing. And then he will continue to talk to these girls back and forth over the internet until I basically have to call him out on it. He does however have stuff about me up on his page.. It says that he is in a relationship, so it's not like he is hiding any sort of commitment he has to me. BUT, little flirting like this bothers me a great deal, because of things that have happened previously during our 2 years together.. When we first met he was quite the partier/ social butterfly. Most of his friends are/were attractive females. And he tended to get a lot of attention from girls. He is the type of person who LOVES attention. I know that during the first few months we were seeing eachother, he had definately been unfaithful once, although I am not quite sure as to how far he'd gone. I caught him one night after he'd been out at a club with hickies all over his neck.. and on his arm...? We weren't 'official' but it was understood that we would only really be seeing eachother, and by this time I had already fallen in love with him.. So naturally I was crushed and didn't trust him for a very long time after that, but we did get back together. I'm a complete sucker for him, and still am. After that everything was okay for a while, but then just a little bit ago he ended up meeting some girl and they started hanging out, and I guess she really fell for him. And I think that he might have had something for her too... Basically they were seeing eachother behind my back. By this time I was set to break up with him. It really hurt me that he did this... But he told me how much he loved me, and that she was not worth losing me over. He stopped talking to her and cut her out of his life even though they were friends (she went crazy and wouldn't leave him alone after that) So now I completely don't trust him, and it's very hard when I see him online flirting STILL with more girls. The stuff I found recently was actually from a few months ago, but it still pissed me off. I havent found anything from around now. He told me 3 months ago that he would never flirt like that with another girl again. Should I give him a final chance? I'm in love with him. He makes me happy. He gives me butterflies. I only see myself with him. What should I do?
Datura Posted December 15, 2009 Posted December 15, 2009 We weren't 'official' but it was understood that we would only really be seeing eachother What's the difference? You can't trust the guy, and for good reason. In all probability he's going through a 'cooling off' period, maybe in part to keep things running more smoothly between the two of you. Unless he had an epiphany, his old behaviors will resurface eventually. A man who you cannot trust makes you happy...interesting. Whatever you decide, ask yourself if trust can ever be re-established. See if he's willing to prove himself.
an hero Posted December 15, 2009 Posted December 15, 2009 If you really do love him, I'd give him one final chance, but you have to be ready to walk away if he does absolutely anything like that again. As the guy above me said, he has alot to prove to you. Make sure he knows that.
freestyle Posted December 15, 2009 Posted December 15, 2009 Is this how you want to spend your life? Always wondering? Someone who really loves you, will be concerned about your peace of mind.It will be more important than his need for attention from other women. His actions are sending the message,"You're not enough". Never give your most precious commodity (your heart) to someone who makes you feel "less than...."
on1wheel Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 He will cheat...if he hasn't already. He's just that type it seems. If he were serious about you he'd stop. He is one of those guys who wants to "have his cake & eat it too". I should know; it used to be me before I finally met the right woman for me & got married. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but if you're looking for "Mr Right" then keep looking.
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