TheDingo Posted December 15, 2009 Posted December 15, 2009 I did posted here a long while back. The update is that it will soon be a year later since discovery day which was on Dec. 20. So far everything has been going for the better but what about when this day comes by. I know it will bring back those triggers again and she might end on going on tears again (she hasn't for a while now but might when that day comes) which will make me even sadder. I want to make her happy as much as I can. This is the woman I plan to propose as well when she can trust me enough to accept it. Stupid me, we might have been engaged if it wasn't for my horrible act that day. So any ideas on how to transform it into an optimistic day?
an hero Posted December 15, 2009 Posted December 15, 2009 I'm glad things have been going better. I was in a situation similar to yours a couple of years back. I got drunk and made out with a girl when I was out clubbing once. Just keep being a good boyfriend. These things take time. Certainly don't rush into proposing to her. Did you ever figure out why you cheated on her?
Author TheDingo Posted December 16, 2009 Author Posted December 16, 2009 I was in a situation similar to yours a couple of years back. I got drunk and made out with a girl when I was out clubbing once. Just keep being a good boyfriend. These things take time. Yes it will be a long while but it's the prize I pay for hurting her like that. You're in a better position than me. You were drunk and only make out but I wasn't and there was no excuse for what I did. Did you ever figure out why you cheated on her? It all comes down to me being so selfish and the fact that I never really lasted this long on a relationship, it surprised me that I went off. All my other relationships would be short-lived before moving on to the next woman. I would break up with them and starting dating again. With this woman it's different. There isn't a day I wish I would take it all back, travel to that day and reject the MW. I thought I was going to lose her for sure that day and so I was praying hard, praying that I wouldn't ever do it again, if she would just forgive me, praying she gets better and it worked.
an hero Posted December 16, 2009 Posted December 16, 2009 I know the feeling my friend. I was in tears everyday for many weeks after I did it. I couldn't live with myself for hurting her like that, and I was so angry at myself for ruining my own life in the process. If things didn't work out I actually thought I would end up in a mental hospital. I was having panic attacks every night thinking about life without her. Like you, this was my first serious relationship. Sorry to bring back bad memories, but how far did you go with this married woman?
Author TheDingo Posted December 17, 2009 Author Posted December 17, 2009 I know the feeling my friend. I was in tears everyday for many weeks after I did it. I couldn't live with myself for hurting her like that, and I was so angry at myself for ruining my own life in the process. If things didn't work out I actually thought I would end up in a mental hospital. I was having panic attacks every night thinking about life without her. Like you, this was my first serious relationship. Thank you for sharing your story. You just described the way I was feeling at that moment after seeing her in tears and initially (on discovery day) doubting whether to get back with me or not. I got lucky she decided to work it out with me, last chance to prove her I can be trusted again. Sorry to bring back bad memories, but how far did you go with this married woman? It was an affair for 2 weeks. The most stupidest thing I ever done. Any one thinking of cheating, think again. It'll do nothing but destroy your partner's self-esteem, permanently shattered previous good memories, damaging your partner's trust they had in you, afraid of looking at the parents in the eyes and pretending you did nothing (they don't know what I did to their daughter, if so they would have hated me already), you would have to give your partner full access to your accounts, have them check it till you can be trust again and many more. Only if I had known that and think of all the consequences was an outside minutes of pleasure really worth damaging a long term relationship that was going perfect, ruining you partner's trust, messed them up mentally but it's late now for that.
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