Saudade Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 Hey guys, I feel a bit daft coming on here being so upset after my break up of only 6 months, but I feel absolutly heartbroken I really liked this person and enjoyed their company. The break up was done on the phone with him actually putting the phone down on me because he couldn't cope with my silence (I was shocked and upset) He said the reason it wasn't working was because he didn't think it was fair on him that I came to his place every weekend, I don't live on my own he does. I pay a lot of money to go and see him, it makes me sad to think all the time he was thinking that. He also said he was going to drive up to see me on xmas eve then go home, when I raised this he went mad that I was expecting him to do that (he offered) I really have tried to be a great gf, he is still married and I looked beyond that, maybe that was my mistake. I feel like this is all my fault and I am a bad person. I just need to some kind words please as I feel VERY stupid for allowing myself to fall so hard, so quickly.
clingymon Posted December 15, 2009 Posted December 15, 2009 you sound like u have a lot of heart and alot of love 2 give 2 another person!!! why dont u try giving it 2 some1 who is NOT married!!! and can return that love 100%!!! nothing good comes from getting involved with some1 who is still married!!! move on and find someone who can give you their all!!!when u hook up with some1 who is still married you will always be living in the shadow of the wife/ex-wife no matter what happens!!! you will always be at the bottom of the totem pole of thier priorities!!!! cut your losses and save yourself the pain and suffering you will endure!!! trust me on this one!!!
pureinheart Posted December 15, 2009 Posted December 15, 2009 Hey guys, I feel a bit daft coming on here being so upset after my break up of only 6 months, but I feel absolutly heartbroken I really liked this person and enjoyed their company. The break up was done on the phone with him actually putting the phone down on me because he couldn't cope with my silence (I was shocked and upset) He said the reason it wasn't working was because he didn't think it was fair on him that I came to his place every weekend, I don't live on my own he does. I pay a lot of money to go and see him, it makes me sad to think all the time he was thinking that. He also said he was going to drive up to see me on xmas eve then go home, when I raised this he went mad that I was expecting him to do that (he offered) I really have tried to be a great gf, he is still married and I looked beyond that, maybe that was my mistake. I feel like this is all my fault and I am a bad person. I just need to some kind words please as I feel VERY stupid for allowing myself to fall so hard, so quickly. I am so sorry you are hurting so bad...well you are not alone on this one, many in here are hurting also....I am right there with you too! Hey, 6 mo is a long time, most people in relationships for this period of time are talking of marriage, if they have not married already. I mean all of this time you are thinking of long term and God only knows what his thoughts were. I bet you were a great g/f...he was cool at times too....although I think he may have been confused...which is definitely NOT your fault. After a break up, especially divorce, people need time to regroup. In rare cases does a relationship work jumping from one person to the other. Love is love, sometimes it is misguided and misdirected, so we must just learn from is and move on.... IT IS BETTER TO HAVE LOVED AND LOST, THAN TO HAVE NEVER LOVED AT ALL. YOU ARE NOT STUPID! YOU ARE HUMAN!!!!!!! I will be alone this Christmas also....I made some bad choices....I was involved with a very abusive man for several years...in fact it was what brought me to LS in 2006. He is a Narcissist and uses many techniques to control his "prey", one of the many he used on me, and the most damaging was a technique called "Traumatic Bonding"....this technique is most commonly used with kidnap victims and cult organizations. Oh he was also a commitment phobic, which is what I think you were dealing with with this guy. We will be okay and I will be lifting you up....the worst is over and the best is yet to come!
Author Saudade Posted December 15, 2009 Author Posted December 15, 2009 Thank you so much for the kind replies - it has helped me smile It is nice to know that I'm not alone. I've been in relationships that have lasted years and yet this 6 month relationship which has ended has knocked me off my feet. I feel like I wasn't given a chance and you're so right about living in the shadows of someone who is married. I would never have been his no.1. Once again thank you for taking the time to share you thoughs.
Brightmoon Posted December 15, 2009 Posted December 15, 2009 Sorry you are hurting Saudade. I know how it is. ((hugs))
bluestraps Posted December 16, 2009 Posted December 16, 2009 Any relationship is worth keeping but 6 months is nothing. Im sorry, try maybe two years. The still married part is not good. You gotta see the person at their worst in all kinds of situations. 6 months is not long enough.So far you're seeing his worst. he cant stay faithfull.
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