Am I being a 'controlling' b****?

[prairiestar13]

I met my boyfriend 5 years ago while posting on a fan forum for a local L.A. underground group. He lived in Sacramento at the time and we were internet buddies for years before becoming closer and starting an email/text/calling friendship. Last year, after 5 years of being friends and growing closer, we fell in love and decided that we were gonna make it last forever. This past August he moved down to L.A. to be with me and it has been wonderful ever since. Two weeks ago he proposed and we are looking to get married this coming spring.

 

My problem is this: His co-dependent relationship with his best friend, Will.

 

My fiance and Will have been best friends since they were in junior high. Extremely close. Have never lived in different cities, have never really even spent more than a week away from eachother until my fiance moved to Los Angeles this August. I knew that they were extremely close, but I didnt realize how (for lack of a better term) obsessive their friendship was.

 

My first inclination came when Will drove down to L.A. with my fiance to help him move in with me. After a day of unpacking, my fiance drove Will to the airport for a flight back home. Even though they were already planning to see eachother in two months, my fiance came back home INCREDIBLY shooken up and even confessed that he threw up after he left Will at the gate. Seeing as they are both grown 27 year old men, I thought this seemed incredibly troublesome to me but I decided to just let it go.

 

But it didnt end there. For the first couple weeks he lived with me, my fiance was ALWAYS texting Will on the phone. I am not overexaggerating when I say that they texted eachother throughout the day, all day...maybe about every ten or fifteen minutes. We would be at dinner and my boyfriend would be texting Will. We would be watching a movie and they would be texting. After about a month of this, I finally had enough. I confronted my fiance about this and let him know that I was feeling a bit overwhelmed by his text messaging and, although I was happy he had such a good friend, I thought that maybe this time should be used to concentrate on our budding relationship. He had JUST moved in with me. I felt like he needed to focus a little on ME. I asked him to please scale down the daily communication between him and Will so that maybe we can learn to communicate better. He seemed to agree with me and responded with: "I know i've been a little overboard with texting him but I just wanted to make sure that he didnt feel left out and that he knew everything between us was gonna be the same." This was troublesome to me again. The fact that he felt it necessary to make sure Will didnt get jealous of the fact that he was now living in L.A. with me bothered me. It bothered me alot but, again, I let it go because I was thankful that at least my boyfriend saw what he was doing and was willing to make changes.

 

And he did make changes...for about two weeks. Then it all went back to the same thing again. It got so bad that on our scheduled "WEDNESDATES" when we usually go see a movie, he would be texting Will asking what movie we should see and AS SOON as we left the theatre, he would text Will to give him the play by play of how he liked the movie.

 

About two weeks ago we started deciding who would be in our wedding party. OF COURSE Will is going to be the best man. But then my fiance told me that he wanted WILL'S niece to be the flower girl and WILL'S nephew to be the ring bearer. Having MY own niece and nephew, I was a little flabbergasted that he would propose that. When I said that I was okay with Will being the best man but didnt think that I was close enough to Will to make his family my wedding party, my fiance got extremely upset. That was our first real blow out. He seemed geniunely hurt and angry that I wasnt going to allow his best friend's niece and nephew, whom i've never met and probably will never see before or after the wedding, to be a part of the wedding party.

 

Then just two days ago it all came to a head. My boyfriend moved her in August. It is now only December. Since he has moved down here, Will has visited twice and my boyfriend has gone up there to visit twice (keep in mind, when he goes back home he hardly sees his OWN family and spends 95% playing poker with Will.) He is already planning on Will visiting again in January. As we are actively planning a wedding, I asked him if it was REALLY necessary for Will to come down AGAIN in January. We got into a huge fight. That was the same day that I found out Will and my fiance have their cell's in a family plan. Being that my fiance is now living in L.A. and is about to get MARRIED to me, I dont think it's appropriate to be on a family plan with his friend that lives 800 miles away. I asked him if he would consider cancelling the family plan. He said he wouldnt and that he doesnt understand why im trying to control who he can be friends with.

I got so angry that I told my fiance that he should just move back to Sacramento as I didnt feel he was ready to move away and he told me that I was wrong. He told me that moving to L.A. and proposing to me was the best thing he has ever done and I believe him. I know he loves me immensely and I'm grateful that he gave up his life to be with me.

I like Will. I do. I think he's great and I understand why my fiance loves him so much. But I just think their friendship is TOO MUCH...TOO co-dependent. Honestly, I feel jealous as well. I feel like this is a time to concentrate on being in LOVE and building our friendship and I feel that if he is co-dependent on ANYONE (although I would rather him not be) it should be with ME. I honestly feel like im in a relationship with two people, my fiance and Will. Two days ago we got in a huge fight and I asked him again to scale down his communication with Will. I said:

 

"I'm NOT trying to control you, but I AM trying to communicate with you and let you know that you CONSTANTLY texting Will and being SO co-dependent on him to the point that you guys cant seem to go two months without seeing eachother is making me unhappy and worries me. I want us to develop a bond but I cant seem to because the one you have with Will is air tight."

 

I asked him to scale it down in order to work on this relationship and, although he agreed, he is making me seem like a total bitch.

 

Am I being stupid and immature? We have been fighting about this SO MUCH and im worried....

[kizik]

Your post is very, very long.

 

But from a quick scan, yes, you're being a controlling b*tch. Let the man have his friendship. If you don't like it, get out of his life.

[prairiestar13]

Your post is very, very long.

 

But from a quick scan, yes, you're being a controlling b*tch. Let the man have his friendship. If you don't like it, get out of his life.

 

Thank you for the intelligent advice.

[kizik]

Thank you for the intelligent advice.

 

I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume your post was sincere, and NOT sarcastic.

 

You are welcome.

[prairiestar13]

I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume your post was sincere, and NOT sarcastic.

 

You are welcome.

 

no, i was being sarcastic. this is a forum giving advice on relationships and where people could vent. i didnt know there was a limit on how long our posts could be.

 

obviously you saw my post was long when you peeked at it. if you dont like to read, then keep obvious facts written in a smart ass way to yourself.

[paddington bear]

sounds like this is all blowing up because it's wedding time to me. Thing is, I think weddings are girl's things, men generally are not that interested in the minutae of them.

 

Thing is, your fiancée came as a package with his best friend, you have to either accept that or not. And I'm getting the feeling that you might be blaming this Will guy on your fiancée not being 100% involved in the fact that you two are to be married and still carrying on his close relationship to his best buddy.

 

Fine to draw some boundaries, many people find it rude when others text or call during a meal, or movie - and I know what it means for you is that when he's with you, maybe you feel like his attention is always elsewhere. But he wouldn't have proposed, be marrying you if he didn't love you. How about just setting some loose boundaries, "when we're on a date together/eating together I'd appreciate it if you spent that time with your attention on me/us, outside of that you can text and call him any other time you like".

 

Don't underestimate the power of the bond of male friendship - your fiancée might in his own way through his actions be showing his friend that he's still there for him, still as close as ever, even though he's getting married. If you drive a wedge between them, this Will guy will HATE and resent you and so will your fiancée.

[kizik]

i didnt know there was a limit on how long our posts could be.

 

Allow me to assist you. Many people don't want to read your very long posts. If you make a shorter one, you are more likely to get more responses.

 

if you dont like to read, then keep obvious facts written in a smart ass way to yourself.

 

Hmmm, how to respond. Well my dear, there was nothing smart ass about my post. I told you your thread was long, which it is. And I said yes, you are being a controlling b*tch.

 

My guess is with your attitude, your fiance's friendship with Will is most likely an escape from your shrewish ways.

[prairiestar13]

sounds like this is all blowing up because it's wedding time to me. Thing is, I think weddings are girl's things, men generally are not that interested in the minutae of them.

 

Thing is, your fiancée came as a package with his best friend, you have to either accept that or not. And I'm getting the feeling that you might be blaming this Will guy on your fiancée not being 100% involved in the fact that you two are to be married and still carrying on his close relationship to his best buddy.

 

Fine to draw some boundaries, many people find it rude when others text or call during a meal, or movie - and I know what it means for you is that when he's with you, maybe you feel like his attention is always elsewhere. But he wouldn't have proposed, be marrying you if he didn't love you. How about just setting some loose boundaries, "when we're on a date together/eating together I'd appreciate it if you spent that time with your attention on me/us, outside of that you can text and call him any other time you like".

 

Don't underestimate the power of the bond of male friendship - your fiancée might in his own way through his actions be showing his friend that he's still there for him, still as close as ever, even though he's getting married. If you drive a wedge between them, this Will guy will HATE and resent you and so will your fiancée.

 

thank you paddington bear! you're right. and i dont want either of them to resent me.

[e.clipse]

i like Will. i do. i really do. i . . . i just can't stand that son-of-a-bitch, that's all!

 

stop the hypocrisy and blind-sighteness. clearly, yes, their friendship is more co-dependent that most "normal" friendship. however, that is his choice. know that being an internet-love is not the same as being a flesh and blood-love and that, given that, you are relatively new to his life. if you disagree with this POV, then acknowledge the fact that this lifestyle is new to him. so what is he is easing his way into completely new territory by means of someone who is -- and has been -- so close for so long?

 

as i said, yes, it is too co-dependent for my taste, but let him. he just moved in and how many times have you chastised him for the same issue already? let the man breathe, stop being so controlling.

 

or just solve the problem and spare yourselves the future drama and split up right now.

[prairiestar13]

Allow me to assist you. Many people don't want to read your very long posts. If you make a shorter one, you are more likely to get more responses.

 

 

 

Hmmm, how to respond. Well my dear, there was nothing smart ass about my post. I told you your thread was long, which it is. And I said yes, you are being a controlling b*tch.

 

My guess is with your attitude, your fiance's friendship with Will is most likely an escape from your shrewish ways.

 

okay, thank you for your opinion about my 'attitude' (LOL) but your wrong and you dont know a thing about me so i accept it.

 

no offense but you came off a little rude by feeling it necessary to state an obvious fact and then feeling it necessary to state that you just quickly scanned my post. if you are too intimidated by the length of the post and are a slow reader and thinker, than i understand. but please dont speak for other people. ive been around forums long enough to know that most, not all, but MOST people that roam forums on the internet arent offended by long posts.

 

next time you come across a long post on an internet forum that is based on people coming to other strangers for advice, maybe be a nice person and just simply not read it and not make rude comments.

 

have a nice day!

[Awesome Username]

I think that you should have your "half," proper say in the wedding party.

 

However, I don't see this thing with his friend ever being resolved. The reason why I say this is that if the gender was swapped, and you were the boyfriend and you were trying to keep your girlfriend from talking to/texting her friend then that would be seen as controlling. Also, the fact that you two have "Wednesdates" makes me think that you likely operate on a strict schedule.

 

If they were that close before you said yes to marrying him, then you know what you're getting into. If you're not sure that you can deal with his relationship with his friend, among other things, then maybe you should put off the wedding date. You two rushed WAY into this. Even though you have known him online for years, in-person is a completely different story so really, you've only known what this guy is like in real life for a few months.

 

His texting and friendship with Will deserves an eyeroll and you making fun of him a lot. If it's more than that, and actually impeding on the relationship, it might be a problem. It's nothing you can change, because they were best friends LONG before he met you. You starting beef with this guy's best friend, especially considering how close they are, is not a good sign.

[mem11363]

This is a fascinating story. As a man I understand why he is conflicted however he needs to choose. He can't be married to both of you - he is trying to keep Will on an equal footing with you emotionally and that simply won't work. You won't tolerate it and he shouldn't expect you to.

 

There are tons of posts about men who are too close to their mothers. They are so close that they never get married because frankly no sane woman is willing to share her man 50-50 or worse with a third party.

 

Part of the problem is that Will is likely jealous of you. If he were a real friend as opposed to a man who has an overly close relationship with another man - he (Will) would back off and be happy for both of you.

 

Your fiancee needs to ask himself a question. Does he think a mature, rational and secure woman would tolerate this type of behavior. Because if he realizes that they will not - then he is going to have to accept that he will never be married to a good/strong woman until he reduces the intensity of his relationship with Will.

 

By the way I know lots of mature, strong, confident women. NONE of them would marry a guy who is this wrapped up/obsessed with another man.

 

I never heard of a situation quite like this before. Sorry for you. You are totally not a B....

 

 

 

I met my boyfriend 5 years ago while posting on a fan forum for a local L.A. underground group. He lived in Sacramento at the time and we were internet buddies for years before becoming closer and starting an email/text/calling friendship. Last year, after 5 years of being friends and growing closer, we fell in love and decided that we were gonna make it last forever. This past August he moved down to L.A. to be with me and it has been wonderful ever since. Two weeks ago he proposed and we are looking to get married this coming spring.

 

My problem is this: His co-dependent relationship with his best friend, Will.

 

My fiance and Will have been best friends since they were in junior high. Extremely close. Have never lived in different cities, have never really even spent more than a week away from eachother until my fiance moved to Los Angeles this August. I knew that they were extremely close, but I didnt realize how (for lack of a better term) obsessive their friendship was.

 

My first inclination came when Will drove down to L.A. with my fiance to help him move in with me. After a day of unpacking, my fiance drove Will to the airport for a flight back home. Even though they were already planning to see eachother in two months, my fiance came back home INCREDIBLY shooken up and even confessed that he threw up after he left Will at the gate. Seeing as they are both grown 27 year old men, I thought this seemed incredibly troublesome to me but I decided to just let it go.

 

But it didnt end there. For the first couple weeks he lived with me, my fiance was ALWAYS texting Will on the phone. I am not overexaggerating when I say that they texted eachother throughout the day, all day...maybe about every ten or fifteen minutes. We would be at dinner and my boyfriend would be texting Will. We would be watching a movie and they would be texting. After about a month of this, I finally had enough. I confronted my fiance about this and let him know that I was feeling a bit overwhelmed by his text messaging and, although I was happy he had such a good friend, I thought that maybe this time should be used to concentrate on our budding relationship. He had JUST moved in with me. I felt like he needed to focus a little on ME. I asked him to please scale down the daily communication between him and Will so that maybe we can learn to communicate better. He seemed to agree with me and responded with: "I know i've been a little overboard with texting him but I just wanted to make sure that he didnt feel left out and that he knew everything between us was gonna be the same." This was troublesome to me again. The fact that he felt it necessary to make sure Will didnt get jealous of the fact that he was now living in L.A. with me bothered me. It bothered me alot but, again, I let it go because I was thankful that at least my boyfriend saw what he was doing and was willing to make changes.

 

And he did make changes...for about two weeks. Then it all went back to the same thing again. It got so bad that on our scheduled "WEDNESDATES" when we usually go see a movie, he would be texting Will asking what movie we should see and AS SOON as we left the theatre, he would text Will to give him the play by play of how he liked the movie.

 

About two weeks ago we started deciding who would be in our wedding party. OF COURSE Will is going to be the best man. But then my fiance told me that he wanted WILL'S niece to be the flower girl and WILL'S nephew to be the ring bearer. Having MY own niece and nephew, I was a little flabbergasted that he would propose that. When I said that I was okay with Will being the best man but didnt think that I was close enough to Will to make his family my wedding party, my fiance got extremely upset. That was our first real blow out. He seemed geniunely hurt and angry that I wasnt going to allow his best friend's niece and nephew, whom i've never met and probably will never see before or after the wedding, to be a part of the wedding party.

 

Then just two days ago it all came to a head. My boyfriend moved her in August. It is now only December. Since he has moved down here, Will has visited twice and my boyfriend has gone up there to visit twice (keep in mind, when he goes back home he hardly sees his OWN family and spends 95% playing poker with Will.) He is already planning on Will visiting again in January. As we are actively planning a wedding, I asked him if it was REALLY necessary for Will to come down AGAIN in January. We got into a huge fight. That was the same day that I found out Will and my fiance have their cell's in a family plan. Being that my fiance is now living in L.A. and is about to get MARRIED to me, I dont think it's appropriate to be on a family plan with his friend that lives 800 miles away. I asked him if he would consider cancelling the family plan. He said he wouldnt and that he doesnt understand why im trying to control who he can be friends with.

I got so angry that I told my fiance that he should just move back to Sacramento as I didnt feel he was ready to move away and he told me that I was wrong. He told me that moving to L.A. and proposing to me was the best thing he has ever done and I believe him. I know he loves me immensely and I'm grateful that he gave up his life to be with me.

I like Will. I do. I think he's great and I understand why my fiance loves him so much. But I just think their friendship is TOO MUCH...TOO co-dependent. Honestly, I feel jealous as well. I feel like this is a time to concentrate on being in LOVE and building our friendship and I feel that if he is co-dependent on ANYONE (although I would rather him not be) it should be with ME. I honestly feel like im in a relationship with two people, my fiance and Will. Two days ago we got in a huge fight and I asked him again to scale down his communication with Will. I said:

 

"I'm NOT trying to control you, but I AM trying to communicate with you and let you know that you CONSTANTLY texting Will and being SO co-dependent on him to the point that you guys cant seem to go two months without seeing eachother is making me unhappy and worries me. I want us to develop a bond but I cant seem to because the one you have with Will is air tight."

 

I asked him to scale it down in order to work on this relationship and, although he agreed, he is making me seem like a total bitch.

 

Am I being stupid and immature? We have been fighting about this SO MUCH and im worried....

[prairiestar13]

i like Will. i do. i really do. i . . . i just can't stand that son-of-a-bitch, that's all!

 

haha

 

stop the hypocrisy and blind-sighteness. clearly, yes, their friendship is more co-dependent that most "normal" friendship. however, that is his choice. know that being an internet-love is not the same as being a flesh and blood-love and that, given that, you are relatively new to his life. if you disagree with this POV, then acknowledge the fact that this lifestyle is new to him. so what is he is easing his way into completely new territory by means of someone who is -- and has been -- so close for so long?

 

completely agree. thank you!

[kizik]

if you are too intimidated by the length of the post and are a slow reader and thinker, than i understand.

 

OK, then we are on the same page. I read slowly, I think slowly, and I don't always understand what's going on or where I'm at. I appreciate your sympathy.

[prairiestar13]

This is a fascinating story. As a man I understand why he is conflicted however he needs to choose. He can't be married to both of you - he is trying to keep Will on an equal footing with you emotionally and that simply won't work. You won't tolerate it and he shouldn't expect you to.

 

There are tons of posts about men who are too close to their mothers. They are so close that they never get married because frankly no sane woman is willing to share her man 50-50 or worse with a third party.

 

Part of the problem is that Will is likely jealous of you. If he were a real friend as opposed to a man who has an overly close relationship with another man - he (Will) would back off and be happy for both of you.

 

Your fiancee needs to ask himself a question. Does he think a mature, rational and secure woman would tolerate this type of behavior. Because if he realizes that they will not - then he is going to have to accept that he will never be married to a good/strong woman until he reduces the intensity of his relationship with Will.

 

By the way I know lots of mature, strong, confident women. NONE of them would marry a guy who is this wrapped up/obsessed with another man.

 

I never heard of a situation quite like this before. Sorry for you. You are totally not a B....

 

haha thank you very much!!

[prairiestar13]

Thank you all for your advice! I appreciate it.

[mem11363]

Kizik,

I used to love it when people at work would say they "scanned" something. It allowed them to voice an opinion but have zero accountability because since they scanned it, clearly they might have missed some relevant facts.

 

You remind me of those folks - complain about the post length - admit you are not fully informed because you weren't willing to read it - a giant 90 second investment - and then slam the OP with a mean spirited comment.

 

Clue in - this is not a normal friendship. Normal friends don't vomit when they change geographies. This is a male relationship that unaltered - will prevent both of these guys from getting/staying married.

 

 

Your post is very, very long.

 

But from a quick scan, yes, you're being a controlling b*tch. Let the man have his friendship. If you don't like it, get out of his life.

[prairiestar13]

Kizik,

 

You remind me of those folks - complain about the post length - admit you are not fully informed because you weren't willing to read it - a giant 90 second investment - and then slam the OP with a mean spirited comment.

Clue in - this is not a normal friendship. Normal friends don't vomit when they change geographies. This is a male relationship that unaltered - will prevent both of these guys from getting/staying married.

 

I agree.

[Mary3]

Is it possible that they are Gay ? They have fallen in love over the miles...?

We have had gay posters post here many times and man your story sure sounds like somebody is in love...

 

Just some advice regarding the flower girls / why cant you have matching boy and girl flower girls ? / ..but wait...

 

But then again I don't know why I am talking to you about flowers girls because I think you should take a step back and ask your guy or his guy if they are in love ?

 

Yes I know it sounds bizarre and I have had bfs that were really close to their guy friends but MAN this one is off the charts !

[Boundary Problem]

I think you need to put the brakes on getting married.

 

The only time I ever feel like throwing up is when (other than flu) I'm losing something emotionally that is earth-shattering for me. I mean tectonic emotional loss.

 

Those two males have a very strong bond. Where is there room for you and your possible future children and their needs?

 

The way it is right now, is the way it will likely continue.

 

At this very second - are you happy with the way things are? If the answer is that he isn't giving you enough, then you have to have a serious talk, and you have to expect the outcome will be he will move back to Will.

 

Because didn't he try for a couple weeks, and then he went back to his comfort zone which is constant communication with Will? He didn't fix the problem last time you brought it up.

[prairiestar13]

Is it possible that they are Gay ? They have fallen in love over the miles...?

We have had gay posters post here many times and man your story sure sounds like somebody is in love...

 

Just some advice regarding the flower girls / why cant you have matching boy and girl flower girls ? / ..but wait...

 

But then again I don't know why I am talking to you about flowers girls because I think you should take a step back and ask your guy or his guy if they are in love ?

 

Yes I know it sounds bizarre and I have had bfs that were really close to their guy friends but MAN this one is off the charts !

 

i know..... this crosses my mind all the time. but, not to sound totally ignorant, but i dont get gaydar with either of them. My boyfriend LOVES women and is very very sexual with me and Will has a steady girlfriend of two years...

 

but it has crossed my mind....

[Island Girl]

This is a fascinating story. As a man I understand why he is conflicted however he needs to choose. He can't be married to both of you - he is trying to keep Will on an equal footing with you emotionally and that simply won't work. You won't tolerate it and he shouldn't expect you to.

 

There are tons of posts about men who are too close to their mothers. They are so close that they never get married because frankly no sane woman is willing to share her man 50-50 or worse with a third party.

 

Part of the problem is that Will is likely jealous of you. If he were a real friend as opposed to a man who has an overly close relationship with another man - he (Will) would back off and be happy for both of you.

 

Your fiancee needs to ask himself a question. Does he think a mature, rational and secure woman would tolerate this type of behavior. Because if he realizes that they will not - then he is going to have to accept that he will never be married to a good/strong woman until he reduces the intensity of his relationship with Will.

 

By the way I know lots of mature, strong, confident women. NONE of them would marry a guy who is this wrapped up/obsessed with another man.

 

I never heard of a situation quite like this before. Sorry for you. You are totally not a B....

 

All of this is exactly right.

 

And I was in a similar situation over a decade ago. It was me that was so close with my friend. I got married to a wonderful man and my "friend" did not take a step back nor did I make that step to put my HUSBAND - my PARTNER - my LIFETIME companion that I took VOWS with -- I did not put him first.

 

I operated very much as you fiance is now. I tried to keep them both even as much as possible. My friend went through a break up and was single.

I started spending a lot of time with her and it caused problems. (What a surprise!)

 

In the end I distanced myself from my husband while preserving my friendship and "being there" for her going through her time of need.

 

My marriage didn't recover from it.

 

It was STUPID. Immature and RIDICULOUS.

 

Years later -- SHE got married and I was put in the back seat -- AS IT SHOULD BE. My friendship with her did not take precedence over her relationship with her HUSBAND or her MARRIAGE.

 

That is as it SHOULD BE.

 

If you fiance doesn't get this now -- TRUST ME -- it is NOT something you want to work out AFTER you are married.

 

You marry the man you are with now. Do not expect that once you are married it will change. He isn't planning on it.

Expectations of your life together, the people in it, and priorities need to be clarified and lived NOW as it will be after the wedding.

You've got to both be clear about your expectations and what you are getting into.

[Boundary Problem]

i know..... this crosses my mind all the time. but, not to sound totally ignorant, but i dont get gaydar with either of them. My boyfriend LOVES women and is very very sexual with me and Will has a steady girlfriend of two years...

 

but it has crossed my mind....

 

 

Have you checked the browser history on his computer?

 

But really - at the end of the day - does this relationship RIGHT NOW - meet your needs? If not, you'll have to make the difficult choice.

 

Doesn't matter really if he is gay or not. What matters is you have been pushed aside emotionally/physically for this devotion to Will.

[kizik]

Kizik,

I used to love it when people at work would say they "scanned" something. It allowed them to voice an opinion but have zero accountability because since they scanned it, clearly they might have missed some relevant facts.

 

You remind me of those folks - complain about the post length - admit you are not fully informed because you weren't willing to read it - a giant 90 second investment - and then slam the OP with a mean spirited comment.

 

Clue in - this is not a normal friendship. Normal friends don't vomit when they change geographies. This is a male relationship that unaltered - will prevent both of these guys from getting/staying married.

 

Jeez... I suddenly feel so... ashamed.