hisprincess41407 Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 Okay so this is going to be a very long story so bear with me: Okay so here's some background. My ex-boyfriend and I have known each other since I was in 6th grade and he was in 8th grade (but now I have caught up to him and we're both Juniors in college). We even "dated" back then when we were little. Anyway we were friends since them and we became better friends when I was a Sophomore and he was a Senior in high school and pretty much I had a crush on him since I met him. So we started going out at the end of his Senior year and it was just something that was fun at first. We were actually planning on breaking up for the summer but then decided to break up after summer and then decided not to break up at all, so it wasn't forced at all since it was something that just grew by itself. We quickly fell in love and it was perfect. One night while just laying in bed together he actually asked me to marry him which was a big deal for him. We did have spots where we would fight a lot and everytime it would wear more on him than on me, but we always got through it. (they were usually in times when one of us was stressed out--ie. finals week) My boyfriend of two years and seven months broke up with me about 4 weeks ago on the 16th. We had been having a "rough patch" which was actually just a lot of arguing and arguing really wears down on him. The day before he broke up with me we got in a really big fight because I was really pushy about him calling me everynight and he didn't call me that night and I ended up calling him at midnight. The next day I still continued to push through text messaging and ended up just driving home because I was so emotional because I knew he was going to break up with me by the way he was talking. I go to school in Austin and he does in Fort Worth (my hometown). So I went to his dorm room and he let me in but he had to go to work so I just watched TV and stuff while waiting for him. When he got back he was still kissing me and even cuddled with me for a little bit but then we went to Starbucks where he broke up with me. I was really crying and begging for him to give me another chance but he said he wouldn't. He still kissed me goodbye that night. After that I became a little crazy I would still call him as if we were together and wasn't giving him any space. I was about a week and a half late for my period, probably because of the stress and just because of that he finally decided to meet me. He tried to have casual conversation at first but then I just started crying and he comforted me, he still help my hand and stuff. I also sent him a really long apology letter and he has said that he really appreciates it and if I had said all of that stuff even a month ago he knows we would still be happy! (Why can't he accept it now and know we can be happy!!???) After that he explained again that he needed his space away from me. I knew it was true because even in our relationship when we would argue he would ask for his space and I wouldn't give it. I have tried over and over not to talk to him at all but we have yet to go more than 4 days without talking and usually it ends up being me calling him over and over. I found out later on that he had actually cheated on me with this girl that he dated his freshman year of high school. He never had anything good to say about their relationship but he still remained friends with her the whole time. I was always jealous of girls, and that is something else I promised I would change. So they had apparantly been seeing each other behind my back and now they are together and in love. The only thing is that when we talk I still say I love you and he still says I love you too, except when she is around. He says he is in love with her but I find that really hard to believe. They are already having problems because I contacted HER ex because I heard they were still talking and I didn't want Daniel to get hurt so I wanted to make sure she wasn't playing him. As soon as that happened her ex did start to apologize to her and try and get her back and now she is having doubts about their (what I think is a rebound since they have both just gotten out of serious relationships) relationship. Well for the first few weeks he wouldn't talk to me about anything at all but then when he finally contacted me it was an apology and he agreed to talk to me about everything. The conversation just left me more confused because he said that he doesn't want to be with me right now and that he is trying to pursue her, but he also admitted that he has a wall up against me and I have still yet to give him enough space, that he still feels like I am crowding him in his life. So we agreed that I would stay out of his life until he wanted to talk to me and that he would keep an open mind about us because even though he did a really bad thing to me I still want him back. I'm not just going to forgive him without an actual apology but this is something I know I can get over. (Please don't say to me that I deserve better or that I'm stupid for feeling this way) Anyway at the end of our conversation he said "I love you" to me first, I was actually so surprised by it because he has barely said "I love you too" since we have broken up. I'm going to give him the space now like I actually won't call or text no matter how weak I'm feeling. I just really don't believe that he is over me or that he is in love with her and I don't think that anyone can make him feel the way I did. I feel like if I can actually give him his space and prove to him that even though it's soooo hard to I'm will to do that to him he will come around. I know that we are soulmates and I know I can never feel as strongly for anyone as I did for him, the feelings that I had for him are something that I can't explain and I know he felt the same way about me. help?
Beeotch Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 I'm not sure what you need help with....since you already said what you plan on doing. Only time will tell....good job on deciding to give him space. I disagree with you calling other people and being up in their business and all that, it seems very childish, he said, she said and all that. It's not a good look...instead of seeming like you're "helping" it just comes off as you wanting to cause drama....real talk. My motto has been and will always be: don't make them see you sweat. Yess I have made mistakes, but I quickly learned. In a break up, keep your dignity intact! That is your best bet, esp when your ex has another interest in his/her life. You do not want to seem like the pathetic crazy ex, even if they are saying things to you that seems like they like you. I KNEW my ex's gf was a rebound and that he didnt like her and still had feelings for me...but I made him none the wiser. I pretended not to notice, I did not confront him about it or cause drama with them. I kept my dignity, held my head up and did my own thing...keeping my name and reputation clean...eventually he broke up with her and came around and it feels a lot better that way than with me meddling.
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