pandagirl Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 I went on a date with guy #4 last night -- the one who had been coming on really strong through, that made me suspect of his intentions. Well, he was quite a pleasant surprise. Nothing like I expected. I envisioned a stoic man who was serious. He is actually sweet, interesting, successful, good-natured and affectionate. He spent the night at my place, and before he feel asleep he said something like: "I feel so comfortable with you...it's concerning," and how he was "crazy about me," both of which, i don't think he knows he said! haha. When we woke up in the morning, we were talking and all the sudden I felt like I needed to tell him I had herpes. So I did, and he was fine with it. It is very, very clear he is crazy attracted to me, but he says I am so much more than that. He says I am a "complete person." Which is such a simple compliment, but one of the nicest ones I've ever gotten. Anyway, it was really fun, and there is crazy chemistry and attraction on both of our parts. But I'm not reading into it, or expecting any big romance to happen. It just felt really nice to have a mutual connection. SUCCESS!
Yukikazi Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 Umm.. you slept with him.. THEN told him you had herpes the next morning???
Author pandagirl Posted December 14, 2009 Author Posted December 14, 2009 Umm.. you slept with him.. THEN told him you had herpes the next morning??? NO! No sex was had!
meerkat stew Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 How many dates have you had with this guy? How well does he really know you such that he is blowing so much sunshine up your tail? Those compliments of his are -red flags-. Your estimation of character traits of someone you don't know at all really are -red flags-. IMO, you are going way too fast. What does "complete person" mean anyway? has he been dating lots of shark attack or industrial accident victims before meeting you?
gtrguy Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 He was ok with that? Yikes, I definitely wouldn't be. Props to you for being very straightforward and honest about that though... That's a really crappy thing to have.
kizik Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 That's a really crappy thing to have. Buddy, it's not AIDS Are you still indoors, hiding from Swine Flu?
Miko Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 He was ok with that? Yikes, I definitely wouldn't be. Props to you for being very straightforward and honest about that though... That's a really crappy thing to have. Jesus buddy, sensitive much? WTF?
gopher Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 The beauty of multiple dating is that there may still be someone out there better than him. Are you sure you're content in not knowing?
northstar1 Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 Buddy, it's not AIDS Are you still indoors, hiding from Swine Flu? *golf clap*
gtrguy Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 I'm weird because I think getting a STD like Herpes which you will have for the rest of your life and can pass on to anyone else you sleep with? Sorry.. Don't see why that is weird for me to want to pass on a situation like that... Pretty disgusting if you ask me.
TheLoneSock Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 I went on a date with guy #4 last night -- the one who had been coming on really strong through, that made me suspect of his intentions. Well, he was quite a pleasant surprise. Nothing like I expected. I envisioned a stoic man who was serious. He is actually sweet, interesting, successful, good-natured and affectionate. He spent the night at my place, and before he feel asleep he said something like: "I feel so comfortable with you...it's concerning," and how he was "crazy about me," both of which, i don't think he knows he said! haha. When we woke up in the morning, we were talking and all the sudden I felt like I needed to tell him I had herpes. So I did, and he was fine with it. It is very, very clear he is crazy attracted to me, but he says I am so much more than that. He says I am a "complete person." Which is such a simple compliment, but one of the nicest ones I've ever gotten. Anyway, it was really fun, and there is crazy chemistry and attraction on both of our parts. But I'm not reading into it, or expecting any big romance to happen. It just felt really nice to have a mutual connection. SUCCESS! Multiple dating? So that's what it's called when a woman does it. If you were a guy the women in this forum would be scorning you, calling you a player. Multiple dating... I'll use that term from now on. P.S.: I'm sorry for your herpes, that must suck.
Yukikazi Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 I'm weird because I think getting a STD like Herpes which you will have for the rest of your life and can pass on to anyone else you sleep with? Sorry.. Don't see why that is weird for me to want to pass on a situation like that... Pretty disgusting if you ask me. I kinda agree.. She has herpes.. yea that sucks for her. No reason we should be vilified just because we don't have an STD and would refuse to sleep with those that do.. Nothing against you personally panda.. Just saying.. I an STD free and plan to remain that way.. I have no intention of sleeping with any girl that has an STD.. sorry if a desire to avoid a life long stigma is passe in someones eyes... I had a friend for almost 20 years.. I was attracted to her for a long time and wanted to hook up with her.. then she got herpes.. that desire died real quick.. then hers turned on.. it was difficult but I turn her down..
tami-chan Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 Buddy, it's not AIDS Are you still indoors, hiding from Swine Flu? LOL!!!!!!:lmao:! seriously....
TheLoneSock Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 The idea of an STD being no big deal to someone says a lot about their personal standards.
gtrguy Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 Couldn't agree with you more. I kinda agree.. She has herpes.. yea that sucks for her. No reason we should be vilified just because we don't have an STD and would refuse to sleep with those that do.. Nothing against you personally panda.. Just saying.. I an STD free and plan to remain that way.. I have no intention of sleeping with any girl that has an STD.. sorry if a desire to avoid a life long stigma is passe in someones eyes... I had a friend for almost 20 years.. I was attracted to her for a long time and wanted to hook up with her.. then she got herpes.. that desire died real quick.. then hers turned on.. it was difficult but I turn her down..
Chicago_Guy Posted December 15, 2009 Posted December 15, 2009 The idea of an STD being no big deal to someone says a lot about their personal standards. I agree. It sucks if she was infected by a promiscuous *******, but I personally could not knowingly be with someone with an STD like that.
Author pandagirl Posted December 15, 2009 Author Posted December 15, 2009 I like how this has turned into a thread about me having herpes, rather than me finding a guy I actually like. I am not offended. I have told three men and none of them had a problem with it. Maybe they actually liked me for ME and the small risk of contracting herpes (~2% with a condom) wasn't a factor in getting to know me. Anyway, going on a date with the same guy tomorrow.
Yukikazi Posted December 15, 2009 Posted December 15, 2009 I thought studies said 70% chance of spreading even with condom...
Author pandagirl Posted December 15, 2009 Author Posted December 15, 2009 I thought studies said 70% chance of spreading even with condom... Oh no. That is incorrect. This is for female to male transmission, but if you avoid sex during an outbreak (common sense!), use a condom, AND take an anti-viral like Valtrex for suppression treatment, the rate of transmission goes down to 1%.
Awesome Username Posted December 15, 2009 Posted December 15, 2009 Good for you! I'm glad you found someone that you click with so far!
northstar1 Posted December 15, 2009 Posted December 15, 2009 I like how this has turned into a thread about me having herpes, rather than me finding a guy I actually like. I am not offended. I have told three men and none of them had a problem with it. Maybe they actually liked me for ME and the small risk of contracting herpes (~2% with a condom) wasn't a factor in getting to know me. Anyway, going on a date with the same guy tomorrow. Good for you! Good luck.
jalbertson Posted December 15, 2009 Posted December 15, 2009 Oh no. That is incorrect. This is for female to male transmission, but if you avoid sex during an outbreak (common sense!), use a condom, AND take an anti-viral like Valtrex for suppression treatment, the rate of transmission goes down to 1%. 1% sounds comforting. If the relationship works out, I wonder how many times you'll engage in sex over several years? Oops.
Pizzaman81 Posted December 15, 2009 Posted December 15, 2009 He spent the night at my place, and before he feel asleep he said something like: "I feel so comfortable with you...it's concerning," and how he was "crazy about me," both of which, i don't think he knows he said! haha. The dude got no class or dignity. Spend the night at a lady's place on the first date? Wow let's hope he doesn't do that with everyone he dates.
Pizzaman81 Posted December 15, 2009 Posted December 15, 2009 I like how this has turned into a thread about me having herpes... Oh I didn't know about that. Sorry to hear that.
jw90063 Posted December 15, 2009 Posted December 15, 2009 OP, I'm assuming this is that same guy you made a thread over just the other day? The one who you had high suspicions of? Looks to me if you were so suspicious, you would be taking things a little slower. Doesn't sound too wise having him stay at your house to sleep over on first date. I don't see how you have much room to question whether he wants to get in your pants or not, but you allow him to stay over. Sounds very inviting, although you didn't actually have sex. By the way, you picked a funny time to tell him you have herpes. Well, seriously I hope it does work out, and the guy has good intentions.
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