francesco77 Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 I have been divorce for over 4 years, my marriage ended for infidelity of my wife. during this time I didn't date anybody, just devoted to my job, my son, and working out. about 5 months ago I met a beautiful woman, my age, with a son same age of mine, se started to go out, and soon we were a couple, she is a very well educated woman, her parents are very wealthy, and she is very loving, and reassuring. two months ago she found out she was pregnant, she obsessed with the conception date. anyway a week ago after i confronted her, she told me she wasnt sure who was the father. she has been sleeping with her son's dad, a loser that just came out of rehab that has no interest in his son, just on sex with her. anyway we talked about this very recently and she says she wants to marry me and be with me, she says she doesnt talk to him anymore but havent break up with him yet. i told her in order to move forward she needs to do that. I found her phone record, and she still lying because she is presently in constant txting and calling him, he doesnt even call her is all her. anyway, any advice in what should I do? i obviously love her and I am willing to work it all out, but is it a waste of time? if she a lost cause that will ended up leaving me for a junkie?
Blindsidedagainalive Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 You have been down this road before. Now you are experiencing it again! Doesn't this sting you with the triggers from the past? Yes, you need to dump this cheater now! Even if the child is yours.
outofthedark Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 A person that is very loving wouldn't put you in this situation. She can have an amnio done during her pregnancy and during the amnio a request for dna test can be done. you dont have to wait till the child is born to find out who daddy really is. She is still lying from what you said (re text, calls) so in my opinion, she is not dedicated to you or the "family" that is soon to be. Get out. Though it is going to hurt like hell now, get out before even more days lead to more hurting ... start the healing.
mark982 Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 she had unprotected sex with a junkie, and you?? buddy i'd sure as hell would be getting checked out asap. you've been cheated on before, yet you're going down the same path again. not tring to knock you but didn't you learn the first time around?
reservoirdog1 Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 Couple of things: 1) Get tested for STDs. Like, yesterday. 2) Dump her. 3) Tell her that you are denying paternity of her unborn child. 4) See a lawyer immediately about #3, just so you have all your ducks in a row. Why on earth would you consider staying with this woman? As somebody else said, this has happened to you before. Of course she wants to marry you and be with you -- if the unborn kid's father is the junkie ex, she knows she'll never get a penny in child support out of him. So she'll keep you around and stick YOU for it -- a nice guy who'll believe her lies and take her back even though her word isn't worth crap. Dude, pull your head out of the sand. This woman is playing you. True enough, if you're the kid's father, you could be stuck paying support. But for god's sake, don't concede that without making her prove it!!! If it's possible that you could get out of this situation (relatively) cleanly, why on earth wouldn't you pursue that?
Church Bells Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 Personally, if it were me, I'd insist on getting an abortion as a condition of any further contact with her whatsoever. After the abortion, then you are free to pursue whatever direction you choose for yourself. I'm sure there will be the usual outcries ... but the fact remains that abortion is LEGAL and a VIABLE alternative that should not be discounted. Once again, you find yourself the victim of a woman's deception. If it were me, I would be doing everything in my power to break that trend, and take back control over my OWN life.
LakesideDream Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 Go on the Maury show and report back to LS all about the experiance.
hopesndreams Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 If she names you as the father of the baby, it will be down to you to prove otherwise.
reservoirdog1 Posted December 15, 2009 Posted December 15, 2009 If she names you as the father of the baby, it will be down to you to prove otherwise. That's why he should see a lawyer. Proving paternity biologically is easy these days.
reservoirdog1 Posted December 15, 2009 Posted December 15, 2009 I strongly advise NOT getting an abortion. Don't punish an innocent child for the faults of the parents. I disagree with this position, but it's probably moot. He shouldn't stay with her in any event, now that he knows who she really is. If the child isn't his, he won't care anyway, nor should he. If it is his child, the decision to abort or not is hers and he'll be on the hook for child support, whether he has future contact with her or not.
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