mychelle Posted December 19, 2003 Posted December 19, 2003 It took me awhile to decide to post on here... so, please try to understand me (if possible). I will try to keep this as short as possible. I have been contemplating breaking up with my boyfriend of 1.5 years. He didn't really do anything wrong. Sometimes, I don't want to kiss him. Sometimes, I feel pretty disgusted when he tries to kiss me... like its forced. I don't feel proud of him. I don't want to introduce him to my coworkers, because he cannot carry a conversation with them. I can hardly carry a conversation with them. Maybe I am not proud of him? But, I have to add something. This is how I have felt in every serious relationship I've had. Before him, I was with a guy for 5 years. Sometimes, I felt nasty kissing him... felt like a slut because I was doing something just because I felt like it was my 'job' as a girlfriend. I wasn't proud of him either. Before that, I had a boyfriend for 2 years, same thing... I have a problem, right? What is it? Can I not be happy in a relationship? Does it have to do with my childhood? Is it because all the guys I've been with have always been 'less' educated than I am? Is this something I just need to get over? I feel real sad thinking about breaking up with him. He doesn't deserve it. When he's away for a long time, I do miss him at times. Someone once told me that I cannot find a 'perfect' person and there is no such thing as being 'in love' all the time.
moimeme Posted December 19, 2003 Posted December 19, 2003 Your situation is unusual. You may not like this answer, but it sounds as though there is something going on that you'll need to figure out with a competent therapist. Questions like yours can't be easily answered on a board like this. It's going to take an expert and quite a bit of time to get to the bottom of this, I figure.
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