Queequeg Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 so i live with my boyfriend, my two cats, his cat, and one bird. i work just under full time and go to school part time. boyfriend works 40 hours a week. my boyfriend claims that certain chores should be mine....like doing dishes (dont have a dishwasher) cleaning litter box, (says i have 2 cats he has 1 so i should be cleaning it, plus it's "woman's work" and other women dont complain) meanwhile he doesn't do anything, just nags me to do everything. i have broken down crying a few times begging him to help me and he just flat out says no. this place is disgusting. i hate it so much. i don't keep up with the litter box, so it always smells. dishes pile up. cat hair everywhere....clutter everywhere. i have a history of depression. i feel very overwhelmed but feel like i am being a little whiner about it and should just toughen up and do it. but that never happens. why is it so easy for me to clean everything at work but when it comes to my own place i loathe it and would rather be on the computer? or out shopping. i love my cats so much, but i just hate cleaning up after them. ugh i sound so whiny. also our relationship sucks anyway. i'm just barely getting by with school since i do everything at the last minute. i don't know what i'm looking for here.
Boundary Problem Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 Ugh. Sounds like my ex. Well, my advice is think twice before marrying him, and in the meantime get a cleaning person and make him pay for it. Re cat litter - 2/3 of the time you scoop and 1/3 of the time he scoops litter. If you bleach out the plastic litter box once every couple months it will really help keep the place neutral smelling.
thelostsoul89 Posted December 15, 2009 Posted December 15, 2009 So you almost work 40 hours a week and go to school and he just has a full time job? I dont understand why he thinks you should be doing all the "woman work" What does he do around the house? Just sits there and nags? grrr I dont really know what to tell you, or what your looking to here from people. Personally my Husband and I just take turns with the chores. Maybe you should suggest that.
EcstasyX6 Posted December 16, 2009 Posted December 16, 2009 That's BS that it's woman's work! You actually have more responsibilities than him with the addition of school. Psychologically, it's depressing to look around your home knowing that you alone are responsible for cleaning everything when you have so much on your mind and will get no help. I know...one of the main reasons I'm leaving my husband. Even though I was a SAHM the house is big, and I did everything else too. He never even picked up his socks or put his shoes away. I felt like a lesser human being and grew resentful. Get away from him fast! He is an adult, and should at least meet you halfway.
mark982 Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 that's b.s. that it's woman work. he don't want to help,let it pile up. pretty soon he will get tired of the mess.
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