amirpc Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 I've seen this topic broached a few times on the forum, and I stumbled across this article today: http://artofmanliness.com/2008/01/16/stop-hanging-out-with-women-and-start-dating-them/ I don't necessarily agree 100% with the author but I do tend to agree with his general philosophy, I think I'm in the minority in terms of my directness with women. I also think the author misses one of the big reasons for this new trend, which is the dissemination of all of this "pick up artist" nonsense you see on the web and on tv.
monkey00 Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 I think depending where you and specifically if it's in a big city, the trend of dating also varies. I live in NY and often I've noticed that people want to and prefer to hang out first and getting to know each other before turning it romantic and going on dates. It's just a laid-back atmosphere here and it's also common to find people to have many friends of the opposite sex also. While that site does have some good articles and the author makes a good point. I personally think it's better to just adapt to the situation you're in. But nonetheless when you are dating someone, it's still often expected to take the lead and be assertive.
D-Jam Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 I agree in the extent that if a man wants to date said woman that he should ask her out on a date and not play around with the "hanging out as friends" BS. Don't let her trap you into the FZ by making it sound like she's going to test the waters with you first...or that ridiculous "friends first" lie. If you like the girl as a friend and know it won't lead to dating or have no desire to date her, then hang out all you want. If you want to date a girl though and only want it as dating and do not want it as anything else, then ask her out on a date and be strong enough to cut her off and walk away if she rejects the dating notion and tries to sell you on "friends". Only be her friend if you can 100% let go of the dating possibility...even if she "comes around". Do not hang with her as a friend in the hopes it'll lead to more.
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