outofthedark Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 I no longer know where to post so I am staying here since this is where I kinda fit in..in this order i am and became the bs/mow/ow/gf..then betrayed gf who is still legally the ow. Sheesh... ya ya i know, but thats for other posts... After dday.. if you are the bs or were in that position.. did you engage in angry sex? Not hysterical bonding but actually angry sex. I have been the route of the crying during sex, the stopping during sex but am now on this ANGRY full out no passion or connection not even trying to O but angry sex. Ring a bell for any of you?
TheLoneSock Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 I think this is a much healthier way of dealing with the stress than what some other people might do such as alcohol or drug abuse, abuse of the SO, ect. Just try to enjoy it as best you can and let it pass. People have angry sex all the time, it happens to everyone once in a while.
Boundary Problem Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 Angry sex would actually be healthy, assuming it was respectful. Meaning times when you can go hard, but just make sure the other person is keeping up. But it is a wonderful way to express emotion, and to provide release.
Fallen Angel Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 Yes, but I say go for the O... get your's, it will make you feel better, and if he happens to get his fine, if not oh well.... BTDT, when I was done, I was done too bad so sad that he didn't get it the only way he liked it, and didn't get his shot at orgasm. I also on occasion masterbated right next to him and when he thought he could join in turned my back on him. It didn't go over very well. (by now most people know my xH was physically abusive) but denying him felt good. One more way to get out my anger.
Fallen Angel Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 I've been thinking about this thread and I honestly can't remember ever having angry sex, maybe I've been missing out on something?? If I'm angry, sex is the last thing I want, maybe I should rethink that. Angry sex is often great for women because you get all primal, out for only your own pleasure, and do all the things you want and are normally either ashamed of wanting or too into pleasing him to ask for.
TheLoneSock Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 Yes, but I say go for the O... get your's, it will make you feel better, and if he happens to get his fine, if not oh well.... BTDT, when I was done, I was done too bad so sad that he didn't get it the only way he liked it, and didn't get his shot at orgasm. I also on occasion masterbated right next to him and when he thought he could join in turned my back on him. It didn't go over very well. (by now most people know my xH was physically abusive) but denying him felt good. One more way to get out my anger. That's emotionally abusive.
Lizzie60 Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 WHAT?????? Angry sex... wow.. this is a first for me... Angry sex.. the post made me laugh... this is unbelievable.. why would you even have sex... I would think that you'd have sex out of being dominated.. (being the doormat) and Him getting what he wants.. I doubt he would even care if you had an O or not.. this is too funny... unless there is something I don't get..
TheLoneSock Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 I can't quite relate either, so I interpreted it as 'make up' sex. I can't say I've ever had truly angry sex where it was nothing but anger. I suppose make up sex and angry sex are two different things now that I think of it.
Author outofthedark Posted December 14, 2009 Author Posted December 14, 2009 You got it fallenangel, perfectly!!! Anyway...no this is not make up sex or that crazy hysterical bonding. I will try to not get graphic here as I am unsure what is allowed in these posts... Yes having an O is great and striving to get that..yep awesome. But my O wont come from his trying but of my own, me taking control. I have never been a doormat or a big lumpy potato in bed so this isnt like all the sudden I want to dominate. This is about releasing anger in a non harmful physical way. I want to "use" him ... and I dont give a chit if he gets off or not. Either way if he does ok if he doesnt oh well, but it is about ME and not his pleasure. Sure maybe he will enjoy it but it is not about mutual pleasure or connection. Using his body to my advantage. Not looking at him other than in disgust.. no "love" at all. Get it?
Lizzie60 Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 You got it fallenangel, perfectly!!! Anyway...no this is not make up sex or that crazy hysterical bonding. I will try to not get graphic here as I am unsure what is allowed in these posts... Yes having an O is great and striving to get that..yep awesome. But my O wont come from his trying but of my own, me taking control. I have never been a doormat or a big lumpy potato in bed so this isnt like all the sudden I want to dominate. This is about releasing anger in a non harmful physical way. I want to "use" him ... and I dont give a chit if he gets off or not. Either way if he does ok if he doesnt oh well, but it is about ME and not his pleasure. Sure maybe he will enjoy it but it is not about mutual pleasure or connection. Using his body to my advantage. Not looking at him other than in disgust.. no "love" at all. Get it? Yep.. I get it.. but noooo way you will 'use' him for your O... no way... In fact.. I think he will be much turned on by the whole scenario than you will.. and you will be left there... angrier than before.. Of course.. you might say that, in your case, you can.. but I'm sorry.. I don,t buy your story more than I would buy the story of the woman who would have sex with her rapist (disgusted) just to get back at him... it's not quite the way it works..
sugarmomma Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 Yep.. I get it.. but noooo way you will 'use' him for your O... no way... In fact.. I think he will be much turned on by the whole scenario than you will.. and you will be left there... angrier than before.. Of course.. you might say that, in your case, you can.. but I'm sorry.. I don,t buy your story more than I would buy the story of the woman who would have sex with her rapist (disgusted) just to get back at him... it's not quite the way it works.. Yea I agree. Some guys don't care long as they get to get their stick wet. I would give him the priviledge of having sex with me. My stuff is too good for losers:)
sugarmomma Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 He's thinking "She should get angry more often" Heehee.
Author outofthedark Posted December 14, 2009 Author Posted December 14, 2009 I dont know what he is thinking and I am not asking. Does he enjoy some of it? Of course, im not completely stupid. But when I climb off of him and he hasnt "finished" and it used to be the norm for him to "finish"... I think go finish in the shower..doesnt matter in that moment what he is thinking. I am done and my body feels good. During the course of our interactions if he is close, I stop and switch around so he cant finish.. I maintain control. It may excite him but I surely am not going to put effort into him "finishing". It is about ME. So I doubt he is thinking, "she needs to get angry more often" as before I made sure he was pleasured and completed. Now i dont give a chit and he is left hanging. Lets face it.. having to finish yourself off is never as good as your woman finishing you off in her mouth now is it? A mans hand cannot compare to a womans body...
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