carhill Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 Well, the OP identified himself as a forensic psychology student entering a doctorate program, so, for me, that's a good place to start. If we can get him/her to return, we can play the reincarnation game
Bejita463 Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 carhill, IMO, the majority aren't psyche students, just trolls jacking around or younger guys who aren't successful with women and are looking for a place to vent their misogyny. Hopefully, that's not the case with the OP, whether psyche student, troll or misogynist. I do not think it has to be as complicated as all of that. I've been in those shoes, wondering why I had trouble attracting the interest of the opposite sex. I didn't have these type of thoughts specifically (that I can remember off the top of my head), but I can understand having them. My problem was that I didn't see that I was attracting the attention, or that I mishandled it when I did see. Much more often the former than the latter. I suspect OP's problem is similar.
Agoraphobianebula Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 the women that he is attracting are probably just as low--- down as he is. Any decent woman is looking for a decent man---just let your actions show that you are "open" to the idea. Smartest post yet. Are the women he's bringing home the kind of women you want to associate with? Posts like your always make me wince especially when you get other guys jumping on the bandwagon, saying all women want are jerks and lowlifes. Look around you, Are the women who insist on latching on to these jerks the kind of women you want to date in the first place? So why does it even bother you?
carhill Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 I don't want to have sex with anyone, just a meaningful friendship/ relationship. I don't play the field and I'm marriage-minded. A marriage-minded intellectual black male who has absolutely no success with the ladies, not to mention starts a thread and then disappears. OK, I'll admit I'm a cynic
threebyfate Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 I do not think it has to be as complicated as all of that. I've been in those shoes, wondering why I had trouble attracting the interest of the opposite sex. I didn't have these type of thoughts specifically (that I can remember off the top of my head), but I can understand having them. My problem was that I didn't see that I was attracting the attention, or that I mishandled it when I did see. Much more often the former than the latter. I suspect OP's problem is similar.That was my initial take on this thread, although there's been such a major influx of b/s threads lately and false "new" members, that it's difficult not to be a little cynical about the validity of threads. If the OP returns and responds in the very near future, it might be someone with real issues. If he never returns, you know it's a troll.
dreamergrl Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 Perhaps OP should stop worrying about how his roommate gets all the girls and start evaluating what he can do to step up his game. Quit whining about it, and do something about it.
D-Jam Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 What am I doing wrong? Do I have a skewed view of what women want or is my roommate the type of guy most women are attracted to? Judging by what I read in your post, I think it's... 1) You're seeing the success of your roommate as the idea of success. You didn't really look into what he's attracting. Would you want those women for yourself? If they're airhead skanks, would you want that? If that's what he's getting, then he's not succeeding by your standards. 2) You strike me as antisocial, possibly shy, and probably a very very nice guy...which is repellent to women. What mostly this sounds like is you need to get yourself into better scenarios to meet better women. If you're going with your roommate to bars that he hits up, then the deck is stacked against you...especially if those women there would want your roommate over you. Also, if you're standing in a corner and when you meet women you're being the nice good gentleman who doesn't even lay a hand or flirt on them...then you won't get far except in a church or a mosque. Believe me, I used to pursue club chicks and end up with disappointment because those women were determined to find a hunky bad boy yuppie who would give them a rockstar lifestyle...but they never really see how the guy won't give them loyalty or respect. You need to do what I eventually did...write them off as undateable. See them as the most ugly women you ever can consider. Women you would steer clear from. What you need to do first is set bigger goals than just a friend and wife. Imagine ideal possibilities of women, then determine where you would find such a gal. So if you want pretty, smart, demure, and sophisticated, then don't imagine she would be standing in another corner at the party your roommate goes to. Maybe she'll be at a bookstore, or charity function from your church, or in an intellectual social club at school. The biggest problems with nice guys I've seen is that they worry too damn much about offending a woman by being a man. They never really pick the right women to pursue...meaning they chase "bad girls" under the fantasy that her requests for a "good man" would be true (when they are never true). Plus they put themselves into the wrong places to meet women. They go to the trendy bar full of skanks and think a diamond will be there. Nice girls don't go to those places. Same deal for women by the way...they go to the meat markets and hope for a handsome exciting good man, when even those guys are only there looking for a lay...or they stay home all the time...or they keep hoping the jerk will become a wonderful man. Do something...change your outlook...be proactive.
meerkat stew Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 Troll claims are funny here. Guy started thread at 9:30 last night on the weekend, and because he hasn't come back within 14 hours on a Monday, he's a troll. Everyone is not hanging out on the net 24/7. I've got a fractured tailbone myself, what's ya'lls excuse
Rhythmic Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 women don't refer to men in the same derogatory phrases You can't be serious.
carhill Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 Troll claims are funny here. Guy started thread at 9:30 last night on the weekend, and because he hasn't come back within 14 hours on a Monday, he's a troll. Yeah, he got some great questions and comments within 10 minutes. Get off that computer quick cause you know the study of psychology only happens during the week Or, maybe he found his mojo and disposed of his virginity. Or, maybe his roommate killed him and sold his computer to buy drugs for his women. Or....
dreamergrl Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 Or.... Maybe his roommate got him pregnant and beat him up
meerkat stew Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 Yeah, he got some great questions and comments within 10 minutes. Get off that computer quick cause you know the study of psychology only happens during the week Or, maybe he found his mojo and disposed of his virginity. Or, maybe his roommate killed him and sold his computer to buy drugs for his women. Or.... I think prison tatt guy came back to the room with 5 ladies and an 8 ball and told him to get out and not come back til Wednesday
carhill Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 OK, ladies, I leave you to it. He did ask an honest question. Have fun
Author djw904 Posted December 14, 2009 Author Posted December 14, 2009 No, this is not a study for school nor am I a troll. These are just honest questions I'm curious about. My goal is to learn more about myself and what women are generally looking for in a man today. Thank you for your responses. In response to a previous question, I've recently just been leaving it up to chance meetings in the community and at church. There are so many dating websites, I really don't know where to start in that arena and I'm no longer into the club/ bar scene.
Bejita463 Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 No, this is not a study for school nor am I a troll. These are just honest questions I'm curious about. My goal is to learn more about myself and what women are generally looking for in a man today. Thank you for your responses. In response to a previous question, I've recently just been leaving it up to chance meetings in the community and at church. There are so many dating websites, I really don't know where to start in that arena and I'm no longer into the club/ bar scene. Are you meeting people that interest you though? If so, what are you doing about it? That's relatively important.
threebyfate Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 djw, you haven't answered the question that so many members have broached to you, about whether you want the trailer trash, your roommate interacts with.
Author djw904 Posted December 14, 2009 Author Posted December 14, 2009 I'm not a judgemental person, so I wouldn't word it that way, but no, I don't want my roommate's trailer trash women. I only speak to women that are my "type" and that I believe would find me to be their type, but I've been met with nothing but rejection or simply no signs of interest. And I'm, by no means, a boring guy.
donnamaybe Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 djw, finding a good woman (or man) isn't easy. Your roommate is finding women ANYONE could hook up with. Quantity or quality? You've already decided. It'll happen.
meerkat stew Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 I've recently just been leaving it up to chance meetings in the community and at church. There are so many dating websites, I really don't know where to start in that arena and I'm no longer into the club/ bar scene. You are doing the right things, just need to up the volume. Enlarge your social network every chance you get. Meet and befriend old, young, male female, every person you know knows a single woman who is looking for a quality guy. Every old granny or grandaddy you meet has kids and grandkids. Stay away from online dating until you have explored all your local options. Use it if you happen to live in a suburban backwater like I do 30 miles from a city, but if you already live in a city, start by building your social network.
jalbertson Posted December 15, 2009 Posted December 15, 2009 Maybe he's better looking than you and has game. Maybe you're awkward around women and aren't as nice as you think. There could be a million reasons, the "nice guy" lament is played out.
Kiowa Posted December 15, 2009 Posted December 15, 2009 I used to date the bad boy type and I have to say I honestly never found it to be fulfilling. The sex was always bad, the conversation was less than stimulating, and respect was non-existent. Now that I have decided to switch things, I am dating a guy who is the complete opposite. I can carry an intelligent conversation with him. He definitely respects me and cares about me. I don't know about the sex yet but something tells me it will definitely be different. If I hadn't dated those other guys first, I doubt I would have been able to appreciate this new guy as much as I do. I definitely don't take him for granted.
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