b52s Posted December 16, 2009 Posted December 16, 2009 Won't happen. Women are overly concerned with what other women (their friends) think. So if other women didn't give him a chance, there must be something wrong with him, so she shouldn't give him a chance. Being a male virgin is the 21st century equivalent of being a leper. At what age? Meaning, at what age does a man have to be considered undesirable as a virgin?
betamanlet Posted December 16, 2009 Posted December 16, 2009 At what age? Meaning, at what age does a man have to be considered undesirable as a virgin? I think probably 26+ is the cutoff. I was 27, and the girl apparently deluded herself into think I was rich, so that's how it happened. She dumped me on the spot for a very wealthy, older man, not long afterwards. If 30+, it's over.
thegreatmoose Posted December 16, 2009 Posted December 16, 2009 women desire men that other women desire, and women expect men to be experienced. A guy who would dismiss an inexperienced woman is a pig, a woman who dismisses an inexperienced guy is justified because she shoudln't have to teach him the ropes. There's only ONE double standard that doesn't benefit women, and even that will be gone soon. There are so many double standards against men. I think it's bad to dismiss anyone just because they are inexperienced if there is no other reason. Not all women do this. Unfortunately there are some that seem to be extremely judgmental of inexpereinced men. Luckily there are some women who are not jedgemental at all. What's so bad is some people will refuse to date someone that is inexperienced because they had a bad experience with soemone who is inexperienced. It's just one person. They then make a ridiculous assumption that everybody who is inexperienced must be that way. The inexperienced often can't win. Some lie, some are evasive and try to steer the conversation in other ways and others tell the truth early on. The guy that the OP is thinking about going out with told the truth early on and in this case it might end up ruining it for him. I'm not an advocate of lying because I think it is morally wrong to do so and it will bite you later on. I'm thinking the best thing to do for the inexperienced is to never bring up the subject early on and refuse to answer certain questions, especially the "what is your number of sexual partners" question. Now if she were to say that the past doesn't matter, then this whole thing is no problem at all and you can be open about things.
b52s Posted December 16, 2009 Posted December 16, 2009 Going back to the Japanese/Asian woman thread....find yourself an Asian girl, they dont have such hangups lol
b52s Posted December 16, 2009 Posted December 16, 2009 Also the kind of man or woman who wouldn't bother with an inexperienced person is also the kind of person that would never feel love for that person (or it would be questionable if they would feel love for anyone for that matter).
thegreatmoose Posted December 16, 2009 Posted December 16, 2009 Exactly....it's just sex....what's the big deal? Besides, this is probably why he's a virgin, because he's been turned down by women BECAUSE he's a virgin...so it's rather Catch 22. Go head and be the first gal in his life to give him a thrill....knock yourself out. :-) This is the worst part of what some have to deal with. If the man from the original post ends up being rejected due to lack of experience at 33, what's going to happen when he has the same expereince at 34 or 39 or 43? His chances with the OP seem very low. Hopefully the next woman that he meets is one that doesn't mind his inexperience and judges him on wether they are compatible with each other.
b52s Posted December 16, 2009 Posted December 16, 2009 This is the worst part of what some have to deal with. If the man from the original post ends up being rejected due to lack of experience at 33, what's going to happen when he has the same expereince at 34 or 39 or 43? His chances with the OP seem very low. Hopefully the next woman that he meets is one that doesn't mind his inexperience and judges him on wether they are compatible with each other. Yeah....there is a "point of no return" when it comes to loosing your virginity, and sadley....a man should have lost it in friggin HIGHSCHOOL! Remember in American Pie, where after the party, they were all sitting around worrying about, "You know were all going to college as virgins, you know that , right??" After that, it gets perpetually worse....so you have a 19 or 20 year old virgin that MAYBE will get away with being a virgin at that age, but beyond that....it gets worse. There's a VERY small window there....and typically, it's in highschool If you didn't get laid after prom, you're undesirable in some women's eyes.
betamanlet Posted December 16, 2009 Posted December 16, 2009 This is the worst part of what some have to deal with. If the man from the original post ends up being rejected due to lack of experience at 33, what's going to happen when he has the same expereince at 34 or 39 or 43? His chances with the OP seem very low. Hopefully the next woman that he meets is one that doesn't mind his inexperience and judges him on wether they are compatible with each other. I forwarded this thread to a guy I know who is a 38 year old virgin, and he replied that this depressed him greatly.
betamanlet Posted December 16, 2009 Posted December 16, 2009 Yeah....there is a "point of no return" when it comes to loosing your virginity, and sadley....a man should have lost it in friggin HIGHSCHOOL! Remember in American Pie, where after the party, they were all sitting around worrying about, "You know were all going to college as virgins, you know that , right??" After that, it gets perpetually worse....so you have a 19 or 20 year old virgin that MAYBE will get away with being a virgin at that age, but beyond that....it gets worse. There's a VERY small window there....and typically, it's in highschool If you didn't get laid after prom, you're undesirable in some women's eyes. Not only did I not get laid in high school, but also in college, AND law school.
thegreatmoose Posted December 16, 2009 Posted December 16, 2009 Yeah....there is a "point of no return" when it comes to loosing your virginity, and sadley....a man should have lost it in friggin HIGHSCHOOL! Remember in American Pie, where after the party, they were all sitting around worrying about, "You know were all going to college as virgins, you know that , right??" After that, it gets perpetually worse....so you have a 19 or 20 year old virgin that MAYBE will get away with being a virgin at that age, but beyond that....it gets worse. There's a VERY small window there....and typically, it's in highschool If you didn't get laid after prom, you're undesirable in some women's eyes. I don't think it's that bad. I do think it's a lot harder when you hit an age like 33. The OP seems like she will give him a first date, but I get the feeling even if he is a great guy that she made end it becuase of inexperience. I think he would have had a somewhat better chance if he did not mention his inexperience so early. The kind of woman who would reject a man because they didn't lose their virginity in high school is completely not worth dating for many reasons. I really do not think that it is a high percentage. It seems to be sometime between high school and 30 when it really starts to get difficult and things start to snowball for some who are virgins. There seem to be some that will not date someone if he is over 25 or 30 and is a virgin. That said, there are some very encouraging posts by some women on here, including at least one in this thread. These women are great and will clearly give a man a chance, virgin or not. Women vary so much and this is one reason why I hate lumping all women together. It's hard for those like the man from the OP, but I don't think it's impossible. They just have to find the right woman.
Yukikazi Posted December 16, 2009 Posted December 16, 2009 So do the rules change on different circumstances? So the running trend is if the guy is inexpereinced its cause for some reason women don't/didn't want him. So there must be something wrong with him.. Does that thinking get altered if he was one of those overweight people that didn't bother trying since they knew they were physically unappealing. Goes and looses the weight does the whole self makeover thing and turns into someone that can go chat up women and get #'s in bars.. but there is still that last V shaped hurdle to get past. Does the womens thinking change if its due to something such as the above vs cause they are just a social leper? To clarify.. 1. Decent looking guy.. 30+ virgin due to being socially inept or shy. Result: Sexual leper.. never given a chance.. common thinking is he is doomed. 2. Decent looking guy.. 30+ virgin due to being a chubby person shy and not good at talking to women. Pulls the whole makeover thing, gets the balls to go talk to women and gets them interested enough to give #'s Result: ?? Is the result still being doomed or would the women overlook the inexperience thing in this case.. After all he made a comitment to change and did.. shows drive and dedication.
Rhythmic Posted December 16, 2009 Posted December 16, 2009 So do the rules change on different circumstances? So the running trend is if the guy is inexpereinced its cause for some reason women don't/didn't want him. So there must be something wrong with him.. Does that thinking get altered if he was one of those overweight people that didn't bother trying since they knew they were physically unappealing. Goes and looses the weight does the whole self makeover thing and turns into someone that can go chat up women and get #'s in bars.. but there is still that last V shaped hurdle to get past. Does the womens thinking change if its due to something such as the above vs cause they are just a social leper? To clarify.. 1. Decent looking guy.. 30+ virgin due to being socially inept or shy. Result: Sexual leper.. never given a chance.. common thinking is he is doomed. 2. Decent looking guy.. 30+ virgin due to being a chubby person shy and not good at talking to women. Pulls the whole makeover thing, gets the balls to go talk to women and gets them interested enough to give #'s Result: ?? Is the result still being doomed or would the women overlook the inexperience thing in this case.. After all he made a comitment to change and did.. shows drive and dedication. I've seen a guy do number 2 and still didn't get a girlfriend till he managed to meet one away from our group of friends since the women of our social group gossiped about him to any other girl he was interested in and told him how he use to be fat and never really dated because of it. Those who found out were no longer interested in him. Indeed it was this that made me realize fully that women view great importance on how well a man does with other women to help base their decision on if he is worth dating or not. It took meeting a woman outside our circle of friends and keeping her away from everybody till they already started to date. He never lied to her or anything he just never bought up his past and lucky enough she never asked. Don't ask don't tell and hope it is never bought up since trying to avoid the question didn't seem to work either since girls would just assume something is wrong and go dig up info some other way(by asking his friends which happened)
b52s Posted December 16, 2009 Posted December 16, 2009 I've seen a guy do number 2 and still didn't get a girlfriend till he managed to meet one away from our group of friends since the women of our social group gossiped about him to any other girl he was interested in and told him how he use to be fat and never really dated because of it. Those who found out were no longer interested in him. Indeed it was this that made me realize fully that women view great importance on how well a man does with other women to help base their decision on if he is worth dating or not. It took meeting a woman outside our circle of friends and keeping her away from everybody till they already started to date. He never lied to her or anything he just never bought up his past and lucky enough she never asked. Don't ask don't tell and hope it is never bought up since trying to avoid the question didn't seem to work either since girls would just assume something is wrong and go dig up info some other way(by asking his friends which happened) So he was Never given "Kudos" for improving himself? The women are the problem, not him.
Rhythmic Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 So he was Never given "Kudos" for improving himself? The women are the problem, not him. Kudos? Sure they congratulated him and told him how awesome of an achievement it was. But the achievement wasn't something they deemed attractive worthy I guess.
Yukikazi Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 Kudos? Sure they congratulated him and told him how awesome of an achievement it was. But the achievement wasn't something they deemed attractive worthy I guess. You mean not attractive enough to get over the inexperience
Pink Cupcakes Posted December 18, 2009 Posted December 18, 2009 I forwarded this thread to a guy I know who is a 38 year old virgin, and he replied that this depressed him greatly. Is this a guy in Oregon who runs a comic book store owned by his parents, by chance, with the initials BW? OK, I guess I would think that people with normal instincts start pursuing the opposite sex (or the same sex as it may be) at least by their late teens. If this natural instinct hasn't happened, then there are some social issues which are inhibiting someone that has kept them from pursuing a natural instinct. A woman who is in her 30s who has had a normal dating life, having pursued natural instinct of being with the opposite sex and at least dated and had some relationships is going to have some life experience and social experience with people in general that the over 30 virgin guy is not going to have. There is going to be great awkwardness for the guy with a woman who is "normal." Sorry but normal people pursue romance and sex, it's a natural urge, and if this natural urge hasn't been happening whatsoever by a certain, there is a reason for that. This is true of women, also. A 30 plus year old woman with a normal relationship/dating/sex background is not going to get on well with a 30 plus virgin male because the guy will be so socially and emotionally delayed. Sex is a powerful motivator for men, and if this natural very strong motivation and need hasn't been pursued, something's up. There are sex therapists that help with these issues but I think the late virgin guy's best bet is to go for a woman with no or very little sexual experience because they would have more in common.
Rhythmic Posted December 18, 2009 Posted December 18, 2009 Is this a guy in Oregon who runs a comic book store owned by his parents, by chance, with the initials BW? OK, I guess I would think that people with normal instincts start pursuing the opposite sex (or the same sex as it may be) at least by their late teens. If this natural instinct hasn't happened, then there are some social issues which are inhibiting someone that has kept them from pursuing a natural instinct. Who is to say they aren't trying to pursue the opposite sex? What if they are trying and just get shot down? So the lack of experience is now held against somebody because they were not desirable? Good job proving the point of me and a few other guys in this thread. Women based male worth on male sexual success.
Yukikazi Posted December 18, 2009 Posted December 18, 2009 There are sex therapists that help with these issues but I think the late virgin guy's best bet is to go for a woman with no or very little sexual experience because they would have more in common. LOL.. you realize in this day and age.. that would make him have to troll Jr. High schools
betamanlet Posted December 18, 2009 Posted December 18, 2009 LOL.. you realize in this day and age.. that would make him have to troll Jr. High schools LOL. It's ironic that due to the disintegration of society, girls will have sex at younger and younger ages, and there will be more and more male virgins than ever.
betamanlet Posted December 18, 2009 Posted December 18, 2009 Who is to say they aren't trying to pursue the opposite sex? What if they are trying and just get shot down? So the lack of experience is now held against somebody because they were not desirable? Good job proving the point of me and a few other guys in this thread. Women based male worth on male sexual success. Women desire men that other women desire. Ask any married guy, and he will tell you he has much more female interest in him since he's been married than before. It takes having a girlfriend to get agirlfriend. Women love to compete with each other, men are status symbols to them. If you're a 33 year old virgin, you have no status, no seal of approval, and it wouldn't impress her friends, hence he's worthless.
stapelfahrer drew Posted December 18, 2009 Posted December 18, 2009 What I don't understand is why you would volunteer the information that you are a virgin to anyone? Sh*t gets around. In this society, being a male virgin pretty much any age past 25 is looked upon with suspicion. Just don't bring it up. EVER. If people ask, lie and say something like, "Yeah, practically. It's been a while so my virginity has grown back lol!!1!"
betamanlet Posted December 18, 2009 Posted December 18, 2009 What I don't understand is why you would volunteer the information that you are a virgin to anyone? Sh*t gets around. In this society, being a male virgin pretty much any age past 25 is looked upon with suspicion. Just don't bring it up. EVER. If people ask, lie and say something like, "Yeah, practically. It's been a while so my virginity has grown back lol!!1!" She'll probably figure it out anyways, then reject him for his akwardness. I found that 40 year old virgin movie to be laughable because there's no way that woman would have given him a chance knowing he was a 40 yo virgin. but since it's a movie, he gets the girl.
stapelfahrer drew Posted December 18, 2009 Posted December 18, 2009 She'll probably figure it out anyways, then reject him for his akwardness. I found that 40 year old virgin movie to be laughable because there's no way that woman would have given him a chance knowing he was a 40 yo virgin. but since it's a movie, he gets the girl. She may figure it out from his akwardness, so oh well, they both had akward sex. However, he is no longer a virgin.
thegreatmoose Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 OK, I guess I would think that people with normal instincts start pursuing the opposite sex (or the same sex as it may be) at least by their late teens. If this natural instinct hasn't happened, then there are some social issues which are inhibiting someone that has kept them from pursuing a natural instinct. It sounds like you are talking about the high school years. I think we all know what high school is often like. There are the so called popular kids who often start dating then or before. These are what you refer to as "normal". You have some who are often less popular and often don't start dating until after high school. Not normal to you. :rolleyes: I would guess you were among the popular kids in high school. Correct me if I'm wrong. A woman who is in her 30s who has had a normal dating life, having pursued natural instinct of being with the opposite sex and at least dated and had some relationships is going to have some life experience and social experience with people in general that the over 30 virgin guy is not going to have. There is going to be great awkwardness for the guy with a woman who is "normal." Sorry but normal people pursue romance and sex, it's a natural urge, and if this natural urge hasn't been happening whatsoever by a certain, there is a reason for that. This is true of women, also. A 30 plus year old woman with a normal relationship/dating/sex background is not going to get on well with a 30 plus virgin male because the guy will be so socially and emotionally delayed. Sex is a powerful motivator for men, and if this natural very strong motivation and need hasn't been pursued, something's up. Of course sex is a very powerful motivator, but other things motivate people too. Some men or women want a relatishonship, but have trouble finding the right person. Some intentionally wait for sex until they are married or close to it. Others concentrate on school or work and put off dating for a long time. To you, it seems that all of these are not normal. There are sex therapists that help with these issues but I think the late virgin guy's best bet is to go for a woman with no or very little sexual experience because they would have more in common. That's absurd. Why not go for the most compatible person overall? While sex is very important, there are so many other important factors that determine compatibility.
thegreatmoose Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 2. Decent looking guy.. 30+ virgin due to being a chubby person shy and not good at talking to women. Pulls the whole makeover thing, gets the balls to go talk to women and gets them interested enough to give #'s Result: ?? I'm fairly sure that a good woman who is compatible in enough other ways would give him a chance.
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