My Secrets to my Great Relationship!

[angie2443]

and on the other hand I do not.

 

What I understand is the OP's post. It is a general common sense list. Doesn't seem like much to argue with.

 

.

 

The list might work under perfect conditions. Once you throw real life at it, it tends to fall apart.

 

I would have agreed with the list years and years ago when I didn't know any better. Now that I have experience under my belt, most of the list comes across as extremely naive.

[Woggle]

and on the other hand I do not.

 

What I understand is the OP's post. It is a general common sense list. Doesn't seem like much to argue with.

 

What I dont understand (I really do understand to some extent) is the reaction of some to this post. This was a positive post that was picked apart by some. Why? I think some women are angered because they are feminists for lack of a better way to describe it.

 

Giotto........you get out of this post that the wife is a victim? Yes, she is happy.............I would hazard the guess that you are not. You do not like the traditional roles of marriage do you?? It does not fit all, I agree..........but why does it get your dander up?? And because of this annoyance, you miss the bigger picture...........meeting each others needs.

 

This is because feminists tend to view a woman doing anything nice for a man as a sign of subservience. If she is not constantly putting him in his place then she is not a strong woman.

[giotto]

This is because feminists tend to view a woman doing anything nice for a man as a sign of subservience. If she is not constantly putting him in his place then she is not a strong woman.

 

This is what I call taking a view to an extreme and putting opinions - that never existed - in people's mouths. This is your interpretation and your projections. We'll see when she gets fed up of doing everything for him, although, apparently, she is very happy...

[nddb]

We'll see when she gets fed up of doing everything for him, although, apparently, she is very happy...

 

ha ha...don't hold your breath. It's been 20 years and although I don't know everything about my wife, I got this pretty much down.

 

Every woman is different--the key is to find out what her needs are and see if fulfilling those needs fit with your plans. If you can do that--that's a perfect complementary relationship.

 

My wife doesn't mind doing things for her family. But she detests, hates, hates getting taken for granted and as long as I and the kids don't do that, we are good.

 

In fact, she LOVES to feel needed and is irreplaceable in my life and the kids' lives. We make sure we let her know she's the queen bee and we NEED her.

 

The other thing she loves is when I pay attention to her, do little romantic things to let her know I think of her all the time, and do big romantic gestures now and then to sweep her off her feet. Couple time and time/place to give her room to act/feel girly and romantic are important investments.

 

And how I always remind her that she's a hottie and with everyone, I show and act in words and deeds that she's #1.

 

That's what my wife wants. Give that to her, and she'll go to the end of the earth for her family. She won't mind working all day to keep the family happy, just like I do to keep the family happy.

 

Other women may be different and I don't claim I know how to make THEM happy. In fact, many women would think I suck. I don't really care.

Edited December 15, 2009 by nddb

[nddb]

and on the other hand I do not.

 

What I understand is the OP's post. It is a general common sense list. Doesn't seem like much to argue with.

 

What I dont understand (I really do understand to some extent) is the reaction of some to this post. This was a positive post that was picked apart by some. Why? I think some women are angered because they are feminists for lack of a better way to describe it.

 

Giotto........you get out of this post that the wife is a victim? Yes, she is happy.............I would hazard the guess that you are not. You do not like the traditional roles of marriage do you?? It does not fit all, I agree..........but why does it get your dander up?? And because of this annoyance, you miss the bigger picture...........meeting each others needs.

 

Because the current orthodoxy states that there's only ONE correct way to think.

 

And the orthodoxy knows what's best for everyone.

 

If the woman does what she wants but it doesn't fit the current "correct" way of thinking, something must be wrong with her.

 

And because my post count is low... let's not even talk about that nddb guy....LMAO.

Edited December 15, 2009 by nddb

[SimplyBeingLoved]

and on the other hand I do not.

 

What I understand is the OP's post. It is a general common sense list. Doesn't seem like much to argue with.

 

What I dont understand (I really do understand to some extent) is the reaction of some to this post. This was a positive post that was picked apart by some. Why? I think some women are angered because they are feminists for lack of a better way to describe it.

 

Well it is a general common sense list... but is overly simplistic. It's like "yeah, duh, of course." It's easy to say when things are going well why they're going well and give a list of "do's and don'ts" ... but the REAL truth things are going well is that the couple is well matched to begin with... that's the real reason. Bad match/lack of compatibility and/or difficult and unusual life stresses, and then the simple list of "do's and don'ts" falls apart easily like wet paper.

[nddb]

P.S. I saw eye-to-eye with most of what OP says except the porn thing.

 

Not judging...just not something that does it for me. Porn is so easy and everywhere these days...yawn.

[OpenBook]

What are your secrets to a great relationship?

 

Separate His-and-Her bathrooms.

[Woggle]

We actually have two bathrooms in our house and i must say it does work very wel. We are also completely in charge of decorating one of them even though she is not into pink and perfumy things.