lexicat Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 1. I respect his freedom and independence. I want him to know that he is not chained to this relationship. He always has the choice to leave at any time. I want him to grow and develop as an individual. When we have individual experiences and hobbies we can then share them with each other and our bond grows. 2. Absolutely no nagging! He's a big boy and managed to get through life just fine before I came along. Most household responsibilities we share, and if he doesn't get to it, I'll do it. We both have our days where we feel like being a bum, and when that happens the other fills in and picks up the slack. If it's an individual responsibility, I have faith that he will fulfill it. I may remind him, gently, but I never make him feel like he's a failure for not doing something. 3. Sex is a priority. It's important to me to make myself attractive to my partner. I dress well, and wear make up. I take good care of myself, and ensure that I am healthy as well as sexually attractive to him. Granted, he'd love me even if I was fat, I'd prefer to please him and stay fit. I am attracted to my man and I show it with enthusiasm during our intimate moments. I show him that he turns me on, and let him know that he's my "sex god". 4. I support him. I am sensitive to the fact that men have sensitive egos. When he's having a bad day, or feeling down, I remind him why he's always number 1 in my life. Why I think he's incredible and wonderful. I remind him of all the wonderful qualities he possesses. 5. I allow him his privacy. If he wants to look at porn, I say go for it! He can look all he wants, because I know that when he wants some real action he comes to me. I don't quiz him on his porn watching activities, search his internet history, or even go on his computer. We each have our own computers and he doesn't have my password and I don't have his. We trust each other. There you have it, that's what I have to say. So far it has worked for us, we've been together for 5 years. What are your secrets to a great relationship?
sugarmomma Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 Looks like you're the only one in a great relationship. Damn that's effed up!!
Woggle Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 I bet he is more than willing to take care of your needs and please you as well. When a man feels loved and respected he naturally wants to make his woman happy and it doesn't turn into a power struggle. If a man does not do this and uses a woman's kindness against she should dump him. I am sure there will be some women who will be calling you a stepford wife or a doormat but the ones with successful marriages know you are right.
quankanne Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 When a man feels loved and respected he naturally wants to make his woman happy and it doesn't turn into a power struggle. so true – I think it has a lot to do with the idea that they're not living in a "war zone," and wondering what they've done wrong *this time* ...
threebyfate Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 Here's something I found to add to your wonderful relationship, Lexicat. It's from a 1955 edition of Good Housekeeping. Enjoy and hopefully, it will help your relationship be even more perfect! THE GOOD WIFE'S GUIDE Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious dinner ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs.Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. he has just been with a lot of work-weary people.Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and if necessary change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.Be happy to see him.Listen to him. You may have a dozen things to tell him but the moment of is arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late, or goes out to dinner or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure.Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. have a warm or cool drink ready for him.Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. remember he is the master of the house and as such will always excercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.A good wife always knows her place.
Toodamnpragmatic Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 I'm sure once she sees it, it will open her eyes and work like a charm.....
giotto Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 I'm sure once she sees it, it will open her eyes and work like a charm..... I'm sure threebyfate is taking the p***?
frozensprouts Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 1. I respect his freedom and independence. I want him to know that he is not chained to this relationship. He always has the choice to leave at any time. I want him to grow and develop as an individual. When we have individual experiences and hobbies we can then share them with each other and our bond grows. 2. Absolutely no nagging! He's a big boy and managed to get through life just fine before I came along. Most household responsibilities we share, and if he doesn't get to it, I'll do it. We both have our days where we feel like being a bum, and when that happens the other fills in and picks up the slack. If it's an individual responsibility, I have faith that he will fulfill it. I may remind him, gently, but I never make him feel like he's a failure for not doing something. 3. Sex is a priority. It's important to me to make myself attractive to my partner. I dress well, and wear make up. I take good care of myself, and ensure that I am healthy as well as sexually attractive to him. Granted, he'd love me even if I was fat, I'd prefer to please him and stay fit. I am attracted to my man and I show it with enthusiasm during our intimate moments. I show him that he turns me on, and let him know that he's my "sex god". 4. I support him. I am sensitive to the fact that men have sensitive egos. When he's having a bad day, or feeling down, I remind him why he's always number 1 in my life. Why I think he's incredible and wonderful. I remind him of all the wonderful qualities he possesses. 5. I allow him his privacy. If he wants to look at porn, I say go for it! He can look all he wants, because I know that when he wants some real action he comes to me. I don't quiz him on his porn watching activities, search his internet history, or even go on his computer. We each have our own computers and he doesn't have my password and I don't have his. We trust each other. There you have it, that's what I have to say. So far it has worked for us, we've been together for 5 years. What are your secrets to a great relationship? lexicat: in all seriousness- I did just those things( plus more) in my marriage. Even when he lost his job and we were just scraping by ( and I mean just- I was working, but between rent, the cost of food, etc, there were a few days we didn't eat so our kids could) - but I still tried to never let him think I was "blmaing' him for things being that way. I knew he was trying, and I would tell him that. When I think about it, our problems seemed to come more from something that was in/not in him, and there was really nothing i could have done /notn done to change that> Things were good for 13 years, but when he wanted to cheat, he took everything he ever perceived me as having done 'wrong' , blew it way out of proportion, and used that as an excuse (e.g.- I have scoliosis, which is a curve in my spine- most of the time I'm fine, but every so often( maybe one every three or four months) it gets really bad and I have to take pretty heavy duty painkillers- these "knocked me out" for a day or two, but then I'd be fine- he used that as one for justification for his cheating " you were in bed all the time ( I don't know how he got that out of maybe a day or two every four months or so out - so you were "depressed"(?) so I felt like yu didn't care(?) so I went looking for 'affection' somewhere else) My point is that if someone, for whatever reason, wants to cheat, they will use whatever justification they can- including twisting the good things you do and making them bad things. I don't know how to stop someone from cheating. i wish I did.
Author lexicat Posted December 14, 2009 Author Posted December 14, 2009 I'm definitely NOT a stepford wife. This is a two-way street. He does all of those things for me and more. We love, appreciate and encourage each other. I would not give this type of loving attention to someone who treated me badly. We are equal partners in our relationship and adore each other, and do our best to make sure the other knows it.
RedDevil66 Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 This is a great list, but I have to say, for the men looking to keep their women happy, apply this list but change all the "him" for "her"
Woggle Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 I'm definitely NOT a stepford wife. This is a two-way street. He does all of those things for me and more. We love, appreciate and encourage each other. I would not give this type of loving attention to someone who treated me badly. We are equal partners in our relationship and adore each other, and do our best to make sure the other knows it. It seems like you two have a great relationship but ther are no doubt some misandrists who will think you are not a strong women if you don't treat a man like garbage and put him in his place.
luvstarved Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 Yes, this is all the great common-sense stuff that well-adjusted, mature, emotionally secure people do to have a great relationship. They give and receive respect and love, without letting selfishness, fear and their own personal baggage get in the way. But some of us are flawed. Some of us do all these things but these things are not reciprocated. Sometimes our sense of what we should be doing is intact, but our emotions gain control anyway. I am very happy for you that you have it all together and have found someone who also has it all together. Most of us are here on LS because we are not so lucky. Your list is a reasonably comprehensive description of an ideal relationship, and I only wish it was as simple as all that that we could all just read a "to do" list for relationships and wash away all the bulls**t...
freestyle Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 Here's something I found to add to your wonderful relationship, Lexicat. It's from a 1955 edition of Good Housekeeping. Enjoy and hopefully, it will help your relationship be even more perfect! THE GOOD WIFE'S GUIDE Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious dinner ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs.Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. he has just been with a lot of work-weary people.Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and if necessary change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.Be happy to see him.Listen to him. You may have a dozen things to tell him but the moment of is arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late, or goes out to dinner or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure.Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. have a warm or cool drink ready for him.Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. remember he is the master of the house and as such will always excercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.A good wife always knows her place. I shall post this on my refrigerator, in case I ever forget my place...... .........I shall read it every---"What?Is that you, Ward? Oh,certainly dear.........Straight away......" sorry, I've got to run.........................
Peaceful Guy Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 1. I respect his freedom and independence. I want him to know that he is not chained to this relationship. He always has the choice to leave at any time. I want him to grow and develop as an individual. When we have individual experiences and hobbies we can then share them with each other and our bond grows. 2. Absolutely no nagging! He's a big boy and managed to get through life just fine before I came along. Most household responsibilities we share, and if he doesn't get to it, I'll do it. We both have our days where we feel like being a bum, and when that happens the other fills in and picks up the slack. If it's an individual responsibility, I have faith that he will fulfill it. I may remind him, gently, but I never make him feel like he's a failure for not doing something. 3. Sex is a priority. It's important to me to make myself attractive to my partner. I dress well, and wear make up. I take good care of myself, and ensure that I am healthy as well as sexually attractive to him. Granted, he'd love me even if I was fat, I'd prefer to please him and stay fit. I am attracted to my man and I show it with enthusiasm during our intimate moments. I show him that he turns me on, and let him know that he's my "sex god". 4. I support him. I am sensitive to the fact that men have sensitive egos. When he's having a bad day, or feeling down, I remind him why he's always number 1 in my life. Why I think he's incredible and wonderful. I remind him of all the wonderful qualities he possesses. 5. I allow him his privacy. If he wants to look at porn, I say go for it! He can look all he wants, because I know that when he wants some real action he comes to me. I don't quiz him on his porn watching activities, search his internet history, or even go on his computer. We each have our own computers and he doesn't have my password and I don't have his. We trust each other. There you have it, that's what I have to say. So far it has worked for us, we've been together for 5 years. What are your secrets to a great relationship? you sound like a dude. as in, for some weird reason a guy would write this.. ? if your a girl, that's not supposed to be a compliment.. i meant, something about this feels disingenuous..
Author lexicat Posted December 14, 2009 Author Posted December 14, 2009 you sound like a dude. as in, for some weird reason a guy would write this.. ? if your a girl, that's not supposed to be a compliment.. i meant, something about this feels disingenuous.. Why do I sound like a dude? I'm definitely a chick. Is it the porn thing? All women are supposed to be against porn?
Peaceful Guy Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 Why do I sound like a dude? I'm definitely a chick. Is it the porn thing? All women are supposed to be against porn? no.. PANIC!
Woggle Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 Why do I sound like a dude? I'm definitely a chick. Is it the porn thing? All women are supposed to be against porn? Men simply are not used to hearing this from a woman because most women have the complete opposite mentality when it comes to how to treat a man.
Peaceful Guy Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 Men simply are not used to hearing this from a woman because most women have the complete opposite mentality when it comes to how to treat a man. there we go.. that's TOTAL b.s.. since when is the opposite of what lexicat said common knowledge?
Peaceful Guy Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 you want what you want.. and you guys are learning how to make it sound reasonable, and progressive.. same thing samori is doing over in the girls at clubs thread right now..
luvstarved Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 I think because it sounds like a guy describing his ideal woman...I did not get the "dude" impression...I just got that it sounded kind of pat and trite and a bit supercilious and naive...and made me wonder what the poster was even doing here...
Woggle Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 there we go.. that's TOTAL b.s.. since when is the opposite of what lexicat said common knowledge? Most women feel that to treat a man like this makes her a stepford wife and a doormat.
Peaceful Guy Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 I think because it sounds like a guy describing his ideal woman...I did not get the "dude" impression...I just got that it sounded kind of pat and trite and a bit supercilious and naive...and made me wonder what the poster was even doing here... well, the poster IS here, so i made a guess. adds up right?
luvstarved Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 Most women feel that to treat a man like this makes her a stepford wife and a doormat. Most men feel that to treat a woman like this makes him pussywhipped and chained.
Peaceful Guy Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 Most women feel that to treat a man like this makes her a stepford wife and a doormat. i do not recognize you as an authority on "most women", nor ANY of the women i've cared about.. your wrong dude, and as long as you think you have to trick, manipulate, whatever, your not gonna find what your looking for!
Peaceful Guy Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 Most men feel that to treat a woman like this makes him pussywhipped and chained. you guys are ridiculous.
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