Author curiousnycgirl Posted December 26, 2009 Author Posted December 26, 2009 Which is why I don't get why they do what they do. If it was me, I would be completely honest and say the truth. It would hurt but at least you know you are doing the right thing. The whole its not you its me/space thing is immature. Just do it quickly like a band-aid and move on. They think its letting you down easily but if the same thing were to happen to them they would understand. It's all passive aggressive BS. My ex pushed me to do it - doesn't mean he wasn't the dumper - he was just underhanded about it. I have no clue why they want us to wallow in sorrow of wondering why, what could we have done differently - but they do. Sadistic bastards!
skydiveaddict Posted December 26, 2009 Posted December 26, 2009 I have no clue why they want us to wallow in sorrow of wondering why, what could we have done differently - but they do. Sadistic bastards! i think its cowardice mixed w/ guilt the thing is to forget wondering why. it will drive you insane
HLP234 Posted December 26, 2009 Posted December 26, 2009 Its something you learn with time and age. No matter how well you get along with someone and think they may be perfect for you, always try and look at where they come from. By this I mean their previous relationships and what happened. I should of known this because I knew my girl for a long time and I had been there for her everytime she had a break up..until now when she left me. I should of known better but I thought it wouldn't happen again. It is all BS and no matter how you have treated them, you could have treated them like a prince/princess and they will still go about this route..even when they tell you they hate lies, but they think they are not lying when giving you this speech.
skydiveaddict Posted December 27, 2009 Posted December 27, 2009 (edited) It is all BS and no matter how you have treated them, you could have treated them like a prince/princess and they will still go about this route..even when they tell you they hate lies, but they think they are not lying when giving you this speech. no no they know they are lying when you get "the speech" it's just they dont want to come off as being the selfish a..hole they are it's just a way to displace their guilt Edited December 27, 2009 by skydiveaddict
HLP234 Posted December 27, 2009 Posted December 27, 2009 Exactly, and the being friends thing and telling me to act normal during our "break" and pretend everything is ok is just another notion that she wants herself to feel less guilty for how selfish she is behaving. She even said she was being selfish and was sorry but nothing more. I don't go by words much but more by actions. When you have such strong feeling for someone you can't just pretend everything is ok and just ignore the big elephant on the couch. So at a time like this doing nothing is the best thing I can do lol.
skydiveaddict Posted December 27, 2009 Posted December 27, 2009 (edited) Exactly, and the being friends thing and telling me to act normal during our "break" and pretend everything is ok is just another notion that she wants herself to feel less guilty for how selfish she is behaving. i know . nothing sickens me more than the "lets be friends" speech. so next time she calls you as a "friend", you get to hear all about the new guy she's dating when she knows you're still in love with her how nice! Edited December 27, 2009 by skydiveaddict
HLP234 Posted December 27, 2009 Posted December 27, 2009 Yeh it never got to the lets be friends speech but they way she says why can't I just pretend to be normal and not talk about us, and let things happens gives me the idea that she is just trying to move on without me knowing. I dunno her real intentions but so far neither one of us has said anything to each other over this winter break..so I'm keeping it like that until she says something.
skydiveaddict Posted December 27, 2009 Posted December 27, 2009 Yeh it never got to the lets be friends speech but they way she says why can't I just pretend to be normal and not talk about us, and let things happens gives me the idea that she is just trying to move on without me knowing. I dunno her real intentions but so far neither one of us has said anything to each other over this winter break..so I'm keeping it like that until she says something. i would consider never contacting her again. or let her contact you either. she is playing you my friend. dont be a lap dog for her. move on
CentralJersey Posted December 27, 2009 Posted December 27, 2009 Mine just told me that she's 'not into it' anymore...that was pretty straightforward. Doesnt make things any easier to get over though.
HLP234 Posted December 27, 2009 Posted December 27, 2009 Yeh I know, but I would rather have "I'm done" than "I need space" and then she wants me to still talk to her and see if it "works." No, it was working, she chose to let something else get in the way. I know the move for her here was huge and it upset her but it should have nothing to do with me. I don't plan on contacting her at all. If she contacts me, I know if I don't say anything she will just complain about me being mad at her..always putting herself as the victim. I could say how much she hurt me and that I've been trying but she doesn't care or consider how I feel but that won't do anything. If she really cared she would of said something by now. Wish I could find someone to keep me busy as easily as she did, not like it would be easier for me because the feelings are still there. What I hate is how she made me get attached to her and then just goes and does this. She was crazy about me and just pulled me in, then whoops she doesn't know what she wants because I treated me differently than everyone else who actually did something wrong or they didn't care about her.
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