jon8979 Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 2 months ago my girlfriend broke up to me. We had a good relationship, but when i went to college things started to go down hill. I started not appretiating her and not showing her the love that she deserved. When i dont appretiate her she startes to get controlling witch makes everything worse. It was hard for her me going to college and I didnt help at all the way i acted. I didnt take time out to be there for her when i could have been i just got way to caught up in college. She finally got sick of it and broke up with me, i realized what i have been doing and worked on changing myself so i could be the man she wanted i talked to her many times about it but she never was willing to give me a chance. I was so stupid to treat her like this and now she wont let me show her. One day i made her cry and was kissing her check and she realized that she still has feelings for me along with the other guy. A month after the breakup she starting seeing another guy (kissing but not dating) she has said now that we broke up she is realizing how much better guys appretiate her. Sometimes we still hangout and we go see a movie or something and she acts like she still likes me and flirts with me. She even gets jealous if i do anyhting such as go to a party or have pictures with girls. This new guy is a total rebound, of cours ehe will treat her like a queen he wants to get with her. She has told me that she has feelings for him and me, and dosent want a relationship right now. I love this girl more than anything and i know she loves me, if she would just give me that one more chance i know i could show her we could work but she is not willing to give me that chance. We both have things to fix and i know we could have a great relationship we had so much good and were so in love, she is just throwing away a 2 year relationship not even giving me a chance and starting somthing with a new guy. I try to spend time with her and she usually blows me off, then stops talking to me then hours later she will talk to me, but if i dont talk to her she gets mad. Its so frustrating everytime i do see her i feel like she wants to date again and that we will work, then when im away from her she hangouts with that guy all the time and forgets me.
You'reasian Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 2 months ago my girlfriend broke up to me. We had a good relationship, but when i went to college things started to go down hill. I started not appretiating her and not showing her the love that she deserved. When i dont appretiate her she startes to get controlling witch makes everything worse. It was hard for her me going to college and I didnt help at all the way i acted. I didnt take time out to be there for her when i could have been i just got way to caught up in college. She finally got sick of it and broke up with me, i realized what i have been doing and worked on changing myself so i could be the man she wanted i talked to her many times about it but she never was willing to give me a chance. I was so stupid to treat her like this and now she wont let me show her. One day i made her cry and was kissing her check and she realized that she still has feelings for me along with the other guy. A month after the breakup she starting seeing another guy (kissing but not dating) she has said now that we broke up she is realizing how much better guys appretiate her. Sometimes we still hangout and we go see a movie or something and she acts like she still likes me and flirts with me. She even gets jealous if i do anyhting such as go to a party or have pictures with girls. This new guy is a total rebound, of cours ehe will treat her like a queen he wants to get with her. She has told me that she has feelings for him and me, and dosent want a relationship right now. I love this girl more than anything and i know she loves me, if she would just give me that one more chance i know i could show her we could work but she is not willing to give me that chance. We both have things to fix and i know we could have a great relationship we had so much good and were so in love, she is just throwing away a 2 year relationship not even giving me a chance and starting somthing with a new guy. I try to spend time with her and she usually blows me off, then stops talking to me then hours later she will talk to me, but if i dont talk to her she gets mad. Its so frustrating everytime i do see her i feel like she wants to date again and that we will work, then when im away from her she hangouts with that guy all the time and forgets me. She doesn't know what she wants. I'd back off and persue someone whose available.
Defiant Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 Sounds very similar to my story, I just didnt get it til the very end. Changed and improved, but still not enough for the ex. Don't sweat it, change for you and you only....realize your mistakes and learn and improve from them. Someone will appreciate your changes, believe me. As far as the girl......let her go, dont contact her anymore. If its meant to be, she will come back. If she doesn't, your better off without her. From what ive been reading, if the ex's do come back its usually when your just starting to get over them, so let go and get on with your life. good luck bro check this out also: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t84894/
Author jon8979 Posted December 13, 2009 Author Posted December 13, 2009 (edited) Thanks i appretiate it, its just i work with her every friday, and when i dont contact her she always contacts me. and i feel like if im not in the picture shes just going acually start something with the guy Edited December 13, 2009 by jon8979
Defiant Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 Thanks i appretiate it, its just i work with her every friday, and when i dont contact her she always contacts me. and i feel like if im not in the picture shes just going acually start something with the guy Jon, You need to understand and realize that if your x wants to date other guys, there is really nothing you can do to stop it. When I broke up with my x, we still dated and slept together after the fact.......and she still found another guy and is dating him currently. Yea, I wanted her back, but she didn't want to come back.
Zeegagge Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 Defiant, good post, I know you weren't talking to me but I realized a lot of things just now, nice one mate.
Defiant Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 Defiant, good post, I know you weren't talking to me but I realized a lot of things just now, nice one mate. Gald I can help. There is nothing easy about any of this, but life goes on and its too short to dwell on broken feelings. Im only 1 1/2 months into NC and its been really hard, but im doin well. Had a dream last night about the ex that has me stirred up @ the moment, but all is well. Hang in there John!
blackbear_703 Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 Thanks i appretiate it, its just i work with her every friday, and when i dont contact her she always contacts me. and i feel like if im not in the picture shes just going acually start something with the guy Unfortunately there's nothing you can do to stop her from seeing other guys and if you continue to stay in the picture, your heartbreak is only going to get far worse than you can imagine and you still won't get her back in the end. Like the others have said, the best thing you can do is let her go and focus on healing your heart and improving yourself. If she comes back, she will.
Author jon8979 Posted December 14, 2009 Author Posted December 14, 2009 I know its just hard cause everytime I see her she acts like she likes me and flirts with me, and i know she still loves me and i feel like i have to show her that i changed.
Defiant Posted December 15, 2009 Posted December 15, 2009 I know its just hard cause everytime I see her she acts like she likes me and flirts with me, and i know she still loves me and i feel like i have to show her that i changed. Jon, I can tell you right now that my x still loves me, but not enough to want to be with me....pickin up what im throwin down? This girl is messin with your mind, don't let her. You need to do yourself a favor and take everything that you think is the RIGHT thing to do at this very moment and throw it in the garbage. Read up on the threads in this section and you will see that most of the things people think is the right thing to do is the exact opposite of what they should really be doin. Focus on YOU, noboby has to walk in your shoes on a daily basis except you. Make yourself #1 right now, DO NOT make her #1 or you will be goin down a long path of misery bro. Ill be around, we share a lot in common when it comes the the x gf.....thats why im postin and helping you out....dont wanna see you make the same mistakes I did.
MichiganMan222 Posted December 15, 2009 Posted December 15, 2009 I know its just hard cause everytime I see her she acts like she likes me and flirts with me, and i know she still loves me and i feel like i have to show her that i changed. My ex did this. But not because she wanted me; it was because she wanted me to want her. Sometimes its a blow to the ego, even to the dumper, when the ex is strong and shows signs of moving on.
Author jon8979 Posted December 16, 2009 Author Posted December 16, 2009 Defiant i really appretiate ur help, check this i was hanging out with my friend and we went to the school bball, i saw my ex there, she flirted with guys right in front of me, ignored me deliberatly, and after the game talking to the guy shes been hooking up with, infront of me and acted like a couple infront of me. After the game she texts me saying where you waiting for something? and sends a few more, i ignore her, the next day i get a, are you ok? then i get 10 more texts going on about i guess u dont want to talk anymore, what did u expect would happen me and u sit in a corner alone u were with ur friend, u didnt say anything to me either, i didnt even do anything, ur immature, im sorry if i hurt your feelings i felt awkward cause i dont know how to act around you i wasent trying to ignore you (yes she did), and i wasent flirting with guys u know that..., if u dont want someone like me then whateveri dont care anymore you know in your heart what happend you are mad at what happend, how about u lay of i dont need this crap i didnt flirt with anyone, you acting like like a jerk look at urself, and u need to quit working with me, and stop talking crap about me if u need to talk crap say it to my face (so someone is making stuff up about me).. and she called me 3 times. and this whole time i didnt say one thing to her and ignored her the whole time, and dont know what to do.
Author jon8979 Posted December 16, 2009 Author Posted December 16, 2009 Thanks i appretiate it i just dont know what to do with this new situation, keep ignoring her or talk to her about it and what to say?
Defiant Posted December 16, 2009 Posted December 16, 2009 Thanks i appretiate it i just dont know what to do with this new situation, keep ignoring her or talk to her about it and what to say? You know the answer Jon, but i understand if you dont want to do it.....but really stick to NC. You see now how it drives her crazy when your not giving her any attention? This girl sounds quite immature and ill leave it at that.....thats enough for me to call it quits. You must understand even though you have time vested with this girl, there are so many other GOOD women out there to meet!! Dont settle and be lazy and stick with this chick bro, go find you someone that is gonna treat you with the respect you deserve. Im not gonna give you advise to make things work with this girl....because I believe she is gonna cause you nothing but problems.
Defiant Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 Defiant i really appretiate ur help, check this i was hanging out with my friend and we went to the school bball, i saw my ex there, she flirted with guys right in front of me, ignored me deliberatly, and after the game talking to the guy shes been hooking up with, infront of me and acted like a couple infront of me. After the game she texts me saying where you waiting for something? and sends a few more, i ignore her, the next day i get a, are you ok? then i get 10 more texts going on about i guess u dont want to talk anymore, what did u expect would happen me and u sit in a corner alone u were with ur friend, u didnt say anything to me either, i didnt even do anything, ur immature, im sorry if i hurt your feelings i felt awkward cause i dont know how to act around you i wasent trying to ignore you (yes she did), and i wasent flirting with guys u know that..., if u dont want someone like me then whateveri dont care anymore you know in your heart what happend you are mad at what happend, how about u lay of i dont need this crap i didnt flirt with anyone, you acting like like a jerk look at urself, and u need to quit working with me, and stop talking crap about me if u need to talk crap say it to my face (so someone is making stuff up about me).. and she called me 3 times. and this whole time i didnt say one thing to her and ignored her the whole time, and dont know what to do. You did an EXCELLENT job at standing your ground and not giving in and contacting her. You should be proud of yourself
Author jon8979 Posted December 17, 2009 Author Posted December 17, 2009 Hey defiant i was wondering if you had msn, aim or a way to contact you easier because you are a huge help in this situation.
Author jon8979 Posted December 17, 2009 Author Posted December 17, 2009 Yeah still not contacting her, shes trying to make me jealous now and acting like shes all happy without me, and not talking to me anymore. Im going to see her this friday at work.
Author jon8979 Posted December 17, 2009 Author Posted December 17, 2009 yeah still not contacting her, shes trying to make me jelouse now, and acting like she all happy without me. Im seeing her this friday at work, we will see how this goes.
Defiant Posted December 18, 2009 Posted December 18, 2009 sorry i dont have any im or nothing like that. stick to nc and dont give in! this work situation will make things awkward....tough situation to be in. You need to treat her like an annoying friend or an aqqaintance. Dont totally ignore her, but dont initiate any conversation. Answer anything she says with a few words and thats it....and if she asks something that you dont wanna answer, then tell her your busy and walk away. good luck....it wont be easy but u can do it.
Author jon8979 Posted December 18, 2009 Author Posted December 18, 2009 alright man ill stick to that, its just hard, but its helping me realize alot. Thanks again your really helping me out alot. I guess if its ment to be she will come back, and maybe this has to happen so she can see what shes doing.
Author jon8979 Posted December 30, 2009 Author Posted December 30, 2009 Well, i havent been initiating any conversations, she will somtimes text me and have a small convo then stop texting, and yesterday she asked me to go on a walk with her, and we just talked like friends and that was it.
Author jon8979 Posted January 9, 2010 Author Posted January 9, 2010 Last thing. All of this week we hung out every single day, having fun and just being friends. Friday I started to push it a little and give her a hug or stroke her hair when shes napping and even kiss her check. She still talking this other guy and after i left her house tonight she texts me, Thankyou for tonight but where only friends ok? and you cant keep pushing the point and if you been doing this stuff to win me over you need to stop you and i are done? where just friends theres nothing more. We cant be more then friends im sorry. I am always here for you as a friend. What should i do or say.
adamt Posted January 9, 2010 Posted January 9, 2010 Last thing. All of this week we hung out every single day, having fun and just being friends. Friday I started to push it a little and give her a hug or stroke her hair when shes napping and even kiss her check. She still talking this other guy and after i left her house tonight she texts me, Thankyou for tonight but where only friends ok? and you cant keep pushing the point and if you been doing this stuff to win me over you need to stop you and i are done? where just friends theres nothing more. We cant be more then friends im sorry. I am always here for you as a friend. What should i do or say. you are not over her and she has blunty told you nothing more than being friends is going to happen. you have to distance yourself from here. you need to stop contacting her until you have no feelings for her. just stop contacting her, you can either tell her to not contact you because you want to be more than friends or just go NC and ignore her. eitherway you shouldnt stay in contact with her. it will just slow your healing process
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