mommy2kiera Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 Apparently I have pushed my H to want to seperate. I have been controlling and jealous our entire marriage, and believe me it has made me miserable too. I really want to work things out but he insists he is done with the whole thing. He is still living at the house and even last night he wanted me to go to his friends wedding that he was in and he then wanted to go out to eat with me. I asked him about working things out and he tells me he really doesn't think I will change so there is no need. He says he still loves me but it isn't the same, that I have pushed him past the point of wanting to work on anything. He still calls me on and off during the day to check on our daughter or more recently my dad who we believe has early Alzheimer's. During our conversations he will stay on the phone with me and talk like nothing is wrong. Is there a way to fix things? Or should I take his word that he really wants it over? I mean we have almost split up before and worked things out but this time he seems different, he said wait until you go to the Dr. to see but I'm not promising anything because I don't think you will change. I know I need help with my jealousy and I even made an appointment tomorrow to get put on an anti depressant hoping that will help my mood swings.
Samantha0905 Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 Have you had counseling? Perhaps that is what you need and not an anti-depressant.
Author mommy2kiera Posted December 13, 2009 Author Posted December 13, 2009 Yes, we have been seeing a marriage counselor. We had an individual session within the first week of going and she suggested an anti-depressant or anxiety medication.
anne1707 Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 I would actually recommend a different counsellor then! They should be trying to help you resolve issues and problems by working through them with you and helping you find solutions - whilst there is a place for medication, I do not neccessarily think this will solve the issues you have. If you cannot persuade your H to go to MC, then you go to IC. If he can see that you are doing IC and are genuinely committed to making a positive change then this may help him choose to work on your marriage.
Author mommy2kiera Posted December 13, 2009 Author Posted December 13, 2009 Thanks! We have been seeing MC since August and he thinks that should have been enough time to fix things or see a big difference and he says that is his biggest problem, that it isn't helping or he thinks it isn't helping rather. Maybe we do need to switch counselors if it isn't too late. She really doesn't suggest a whole lot and when I went this past week by myself and I told her that we were splitting up or that he wanted to she didn't even offer to make a follow up which really bothered me. Anyway, he is acting so different all of a sudden but parts of him still want to be around it seems like, I am so confused.
HeyThere Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 Counseling takes time to be effective. Seeing a pro who you gets you should be a priority - you may have to bear your soul a few times - which in turn will help clarify the issues at hand.
Jackie-Jhonson Posted December 15, 2009 Posted December 15, 2009 Well, maybe it's time to stop with talking and start with doing. You know where you was wrong so start changing your behaviour without asking him. Don't worry, he'll see that you really want a happier marriage for both of you and maybe change his decision!
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