JL911 Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 Ok well as some who were reading my post from a few days ago...Current gf seems kinda distant since her root canal... I dunno maybe Im reading into this a bit much when she doesnt text me as much, but I just felt as if I was doing all the work and constantly chasing (a terrible feeling)... LoL...She went ONE DAY...I pulled back for like ONE DAY and she chased after...I didnt initiate any texts, I responded to her hours after recieving texts and the next day she asked me what I was doing that night...odd...
boogieboy Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 Keep doing it. BTW if she is your current gf, I think she is shopping around. She grabbed onto another branch and doesnt want to let go of yours yet. Thats why she sees you pulling away and comes running. She doesnt want her safety net taken away. You can either back off totally, see what she does, or talk to her about it. She will deny anything though, she wont want to jeopardize her safety net. Tread lightly on this one, it might be the beginning of the end.
DustySaltus Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 Keep doing it. BTW if she is your current gf, I think she is shopping around. She grabbed onto another branch and doesnt want to let go of yours yet. Thats why she sees you pulling away and comes running. She doesnt want her safety net taken away. You can either back off totally, see what she does, or talk to her about it. She will deny anything though, she wont want to jeopardize her safety net. Tread lightly on this one, it might be the beginning of the end. boogie, she keeps telling him that, "he's too good to be true". Just curious to know why she would be grabbing onto another branch at this point? Do you think the challenge is gone? Is she just confused? What do you think JL? You think she's playing games?
Author JL911 Posted December 13, 2009 Author Posted December 13, 2009 Nah no bad gut feelings here on my end...Shes into me I just think shes a bit scared to get too invested out of fear of me being a flake...Figure shes in grad school, just had dental surgery, and does have a life...If she were hiding being in a relationship Id be a bit worried, however she kinda flaunts me around when we are out...Im not exactly an ugly fella... She knows Im a good thing....If not shes just stupid...
DustySaltus Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 Nah no bad gut feelings here on my end...Shes into me I just think shes a bit scared to get too invested out of fear of me being a flake...Figure shes in grad school, just had dental surgery, and does have a life...If she were hiding being in a relationship Id be a bit worried, however she kinda flaunts me around when we are out...Im not exactly an ugly fella... She knows Im a good thing....If not shes just stupid... It's a fun game this push-pull isn't it?
carhill Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 My instinct is lack of LTR experience combined with youth and the variables of that period of emotional development. Up to you whether you think she's worth riding this out with. One comment from the other thread kinda confused me though. I heard mention of the honeymoon period and thought I read that you agreed it might be over and I find that hard to reconcile with two months of dating. If that's accurate, man I'd be running for the hills. IME, the honeymoon ends after you get married, and that's a pessimistic view. Or, more precisely, if you don't marry while in the honeymoon period, you likely won't get married. BTDT. Lastly, root canals suck. I'd counsel patience during the holiday season, paying appropriate attention to *all* the people in your life, and continue the push-pull after the holidays if you're still interested. It likely will go on for some time.
threebyfate Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 "Hi, is there anything wrong? I noticed that you've withdrawn a bit." Don't play games. Relationships aren't about winning or losing. Communicate.
carhill Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 LOL, the last time I directly communicated with my stbx, I got served with divorce papers. In fact I think the whole process of MC and direct communication was designed for that purpose. Seriously, OP, I think asking her directly what's going on is a great idea but, from reading your threads, presumed you've already done this. Is that presumption wrong? My impression is that you're getting mixed signals and less than clear directives from her perspective. That was my impetus for counseling patience right now. It's possible she's processing to a deeper level of emotional attachment and needs some time to do this. Hard to know. Her lack of LTR experience may be showing.
Author JL911 Posted December 13, 2009 Author Posted December 13, 2009 (edited) I think a little has to stem from her insecurity and past failed attempts with the wrong guy...And a little has to do with me being in my frist relationship since my LTR went sour and I am just flat out not used to the beginning of a relationship, and honestly I remember being the distant one in my last relationship when it began...I just quite frankly had a lot on my plate and she beat my door down and persisted with me...Now the shoe is on the other foot... Honestly for the first time it was me going after what I wanted and done the chasing and its a bit different... I think to an extent she may have just already fallen into a bit of a comfort zone with me and Im still wanting to chase her and sweep her off her feet...It was a lot of fun and was very care free when I didnt care one way or another...Its so easy until you develop feelings for people... I mean I am fairly easy to deal with, Im sweet to her, I treat her good, Im not a push over, but I think she kinda takes me for granted a bit... I think she honestly does care a lot about me. She is buying xmas gifts for my nephew, my parents, ect.....She does ask to see me, she tells me she likes me, ect ect ect... I think I am also used to the girl chasing after me and seeming to not have a life outside of my relationship...I guess all i have dated is clingers up till this point... Edited December 14, 2009 by JL911
Pizzaman81 Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 ...her root canal... Oh is that what they are calling it now? Why would she be distant, makes no sense. I guess try to pull back further and see what she does. Ask her what is wrong.
AliveAndKicking Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 It's a fun game this push-pull isn't it? I laughed at your post and then laughed again when I saw who posted it... I've had enough push/pull to last me three lifetimes! I guess I'm in for some rude awakenings as I re-enter the dating world, huh? Reading lots of posts in this section as well as this post has me shaking my head and thinking "Am I ready for this?" The answer is "No!" but too late; I met a gal, we've been talking, and we're going to spend some time together in the very near future. The minute I see any sign of push/pull or any other game, I'm gonna run home, pull the shades, flush my phone down the toilet, and take a vow of celibacy for say, oh, about 30 years, give or take a decade or two... I now return you to your regularly scheduled dating insanity...
bberryguy Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 JL911, I'd love to hear more about your story and what's going on. It sounds a lot like the situation with my new relationship. Feel free to PM me. Nice to know there's another guy out there with a similar situation.
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