b52s Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 There's this woman I know..she's single and available. She used to come along with some friends as a +1 to Meetups a couple of times, but never actually joined. I happened to bump into her on Myspace, because I know one of her friends, and we got to talking, and I asked if she ever thought about joining Meetup She said she isn't too crazy about stepping out of her comfort zone and trying to dive into an already established group of friends...she's not good at small talk and has never been comfortable with an environment such as that. She said she's been trying to join a singles group in her own church, but even THAT has the same implications as well. She said that she's shy, and not very good at small talk. I went to a singles sunday school class at <church name> once, everybody was nice, they all sat together in church, and all went out to lunch afterwards, but I just felt weird. I'm thinking, "Ummmm....that's how I did it at MY church, too...get used to it. And yes, it's normal." That being said, isn't she a little to old (she's 33) to be acting like that? I mean, how does she survive the day? LOL
Author b52s Posted December 13, 2009 Author Posted December 13, 2009 Duh...forgot the point of all this....I've actually known people to admit to this kind of thing, too.....for instance, a friend of mine who is social invited to female friends of his to a group outing....when I asked them if they tried to mingle and get to know some people, they said they wernen't into that ...you know getting to know NEW people. Apparently they're satisfied with the group of friends they group with since Highschool....talk about a fishbowl lifestyle. But yet, they come out to socialize, go figure. That being said....does this explain why some people are chronically single, because they are socially inept?
Peaceful Guy Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 ....does this explain why some people are chronically single, because they are socially inept? no, i dont think so! at least i hope not, but you did same SOME people, so maybe.. but from my experience the people that stay with old social circles tend to be the ones who are chronically DATING.. like, oh, i know you, lets go! what do you think??
Peaceful Guy Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 also, just in general, i dont think its fair to say that if people are single its their fault! it may seem that way, but i know ive been single for a lot longer than usual because ive been making an effort to avoid old unhealthy patterns.. maybe i have a lack of healthy ones, but bouncing from crap relationship to crap relationship is way worse than sometimes feeling lonely! to give an example, ive set certain rules for myself based on past experiences.. like for instance, to not get with someone while their still dating someone else, even if they would likely dump that person and start to date me!.. in case anyone was wondering..
Yukikazi Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 Duh...forgot the point of all this....I've actually known people to admit to this kind of thing, too.....for instance, a friend of mine who is social invited to female friends of his to a group outing....when I asked them if they tried to mingle and get to know some people, they said they wernen't into that ...you know getting to know NEW people. Apparently they're satisfied with the group of friends they group with since Highschool....talk about a fishbowl lifestyle. But yet, they come out to socialize, go figure. That being said....does this explain why some people are chronically single, because they are socially inept? Its usually the lack of confidence. At one point I wouldn't approach people at all.. I played the wallflower everywhere.. Then I finally got fed up with being the odd man out and started talking to people. You are only inept until you get practice. the more you talk to people the more interesting things happen and the more small talk experiences you will have to drawn upon in the future.
Stockalone Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 Duh...forgot the point of all this....I've actually known people to admit to this kind of thing, too.....for instance, a friend of mine who is social invited to female friends of his to a group outing....when I asked them if they tried to mingle and get to know some people, they said they wernen't into that ...you know getting to know NEW people. Your friend probably bugged his female friends about joining him at this group outing. Friend: "You need to come to one of this group outings." Girls: "No thanks." Friend: "You really need to come, those group outings are awesome." Girls: "We really don't enjoy those things." Friend: "Nonsense. Everyone loves meeting new people." Girls: "Alright, we will go, one time. If we still don't like it, you have to stop bugging us about going." Friend: "That won't happen. I know you'll like it." Girls:":rolleyes:" Apparently they're satisfied with the group of friends they group with since Highschool....talk about a fishbowl lifestyle. It's apparently a different lifestyle than yours. But I don't understand why that bothers you. But yet, they come out to socialize, go figure. That being said....does this explain why some people are chronically single, because they are socially inept? I am sure that is the case for some people. Being socially inept is not a choice. Not wanting to meet new people is a choice. It's not the same.
Recommended Posts