disarm_1 Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 When my ex ended it she gave me a bunch of cliche reasons. "We're to young to be so serious" "It's not you it's me" "I need to figure out what i want in life" "I just want to be single for awhile." I really did believe her. After the initial shock of being dumped wore off we talked about it more and I felt like I understood her. She had simply realized she didn't see us together forever. You can't help how you feel sometimes. While I didn't like it, I couldn't be mad at her. Why would I want to be with someone who wasn't into it 100%? And why would I want her to stay with someone just so they wouldn't be hurt? It was a hard lesson to learn but I hoped that we'd stay good friends. At the time when my friends found out they'd ask what her reasons were. I'd tell them and almost every single person said "So do you think there's someone else?" Even my family asked me that. To me that was an outrageous question. She would never do that. Her bf before me cheated on her and she knew the pain that causes. She was just going through some changes in life. Figuring out what she wanted. We didn't make it but that didn't mean she found someone. Our relationship had just run it's course. A strange thing was happening though. Every few days I'd dream about her. Every time she'd be in my dream, it revolved around her cheating on me. I would always wake up breathing heavily and with my hand over my chest. i hated those dreams. I didn't understand them because I honestly didn't believe it would ever happen. I found out that 2 months after the break up she already had a new bf. I didn't like it. i felt it was too soon. I talked to her about it. I asked her if she was interested in him before we broke up. She said "He's a guy I went to school with but lost contact with. I ran into him after the break up. I promise" A few days ago I joined the crowd and finally got a facebook account. Naturally she was the first person that popped up as a friend. I had the urge to look through her wall comments and see what she was writing around the time of our break up. Who do i see leaving comment after comment after comment? Her new bf. Their comments to each other went back almost a full year before our break up. they talked about meeting for lunch, playing tennis, jogging together. 2 days before we broke up, we had an argument. the next day I called to apologize. She never picked up or replied to my texts. The day after that she dumped me. According to her comments on facebook, she was with him that day she ignored me. I feel so angry thinking about that day. I drove an hour to a German bakery to buy her a cake she loved. I went to her house but she wasn't home so i took the cake home, hoping she'd call me later and I could swing by and bring it to her. Here I am driving around like an idiot while she was with another guy. I feel like a fool. Since our break up, she has told me several times that she felt bad that she hurt me. That she didn't want me to be angry with her. Each and every time I'd assure her that I wasn't angry. I let her know that it was ok. I told her all i wanted was for her to be happy. I should've listened to everyone. They told me so. My dreams told me so.
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