Minx973 Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 The 33 yr old guy I've been dating does the following: When we are togther for ex: having lunch, dinner, dog park, he'll stare at me, touch the charm on my bracelet, touches me, holds my hand & share info on books he's read, what's he's studying. Here is where I have doubt. He will has never made the first move to call me, text me or email me. If I do either one of those things he'll reply. One of his famous lines happens to be when I call him, I was just thinking about you. Yet when I say to him, I think his lost interest... he claims I have it so wrong. What really gives? Thanks ~M~
D-Lish Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 Try waiting for him to initiate next time. If you've been doing all the initiating, he might just think you are happy to take the lead. Maybe he is shy or something?
Boundary Problem Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 Guys that are into you - kiss you. It is pretty simple.
hopesndreams Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 Relationships are a two way street. If you are doing all the initiating, step back, give him chance to do it and if he doesn't, then he is not all that into you. You want someone lukewarm or red hot?
boogieboy Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 He just might like it when you do all the initiating. Maybe he has esteem issues and he might call too much, and doesnt want to ruin it. Keep going with him, if hes not really interested in you, it will show up soon.
deux ex machina Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 I wouldn't say a word about it, and I definitely would not ask him if he's losing interest anymore. Since you're asking this question, it's something of a concern for you. So don't do it anymore. Just keep in mind he doesn't owe you anything, your expectations are just that - yours. See what happens, and in the meantime take it easy and do your own thing. If he does or if he doesn't is really up to him. While I don't believe in keeping score, I do believe in keeping up - so I hear you.
Author Minx973 Posted December 13, 2009 Author Posted December 13, 2009 Try waiting for him to initiate next time. If you've been doing all the initiating, he might just think you are happy to take the lead. Maybe he is shy or something? Yeah it's the same guy from the should I stay or should I go post. I dont mind taking it slow that's why I never pushed the open close issue.. I travel, work and as I said we dont live near each other.
Author Minx973 Posted December 13, 2009 Author Posted December 13, 2009 Guys that are into you - kiss you. It is pretty simple. He does that... I like your method short & to the point.
Boundary Problem Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 He does that... I like your method short & to the point. It is really simple, at the end of the day. And better yet, you will likely see it coming, because they get nervous before they lean in. If the guy isn't nervous, then he isn't too into you - even if he kisses you. So ideally, 1. He is a bit nervous 2. He "goes for it" and kisses you.
Author Minx973 Posted December 13, 2009 Author Posted December 13, 2009 Relationships are a two way street. If you are doing all the initiating, step back, give him chance to do it and if he doesn't, then he is not all that into you. You want someone lukewarm or red hot? I don't want someone crowding my days either I do like my space... dont get me wrong I also enjoy sharing it. He as admitted to me he's lazy about many things. Ex: he's drivers license expired... which was a major issue, andothe ex: he's been in the country for about 10 yrs. and now he's going for his Cit. papers. So knowing this about him, I allow some slack.
Author Minx973 Posted December 13, 2009 Author Posted December 13, 2009 He just might like it when you do all the initiating. Maybe he has esteem issues and he might call too much, and doesnt want to ruin it. Keep going with him, if hes not really interested in you, it will show up soon. wont show up soon, never thought about that... please not this is the same guy from shoud I stay or should I go post.
boogieboy Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 Yeah it's the same guy from the should I stay or should I go post. I dont mind taking it slow that's why I never pushed the open close issue.. I travel, work and as I said we dont live near each other. He will never give you what you want, when hes already getting what he wants. You have to stop seeing him entirely to get him to start seeing you seriously, but I doubt he will since he already has other females to replace you.
Author Minx973 Posted December 13, 2009 Author Posted December 13, 2009 I wouldn't say a word about it, and I definitely would not ask him if he's losing interest anymore. Since you're asking this question, it's something of a concern for you. So don't do it anymore. Just keep in mind he doesn't owe you anything, your expectations are just that - yours. See what happens, and in the meantime take it easy and do your own thing. If he does or if he doesn't is really up to him. While I don't believe in keeping score, I do believe in keeping up - so I hear you. hmm thanks for the feedback.. He has a full-time job, teaches English on the side, and his new love is a Motorbike he just got, which has allowed him to become an online writing for a Bike Mag. I on the other hand travel work 12 -15 hrs. a day at time, not everyday. So I just want to make sure I'm doing my part in a realtionship, and not sending out the wrong messages by mistake, due to my lack of focus at time. Another reason why I dont have an issue w/ us dating on and off for close to two yrs. I also plan to start a business next yr. In other words we both have a full plate. I also posted should I stay or should I go.
Pink Cupcakes Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 Sounds like you don't have very high standards for men you date. I don't want someone crowding my days either I do like my space... dont get me wrong I also enjoy sharing it. He as admitted to me he's lazy about many things. Ex: he's drivers license expired... which was a major issue, andothe ex: he's been in the country for about 10 yrs. and now he's going for his Cit. papers. So knowing this about him, I allow some slack.
Author Minx973 Posted December 13, 2009 Author Posted December 13, 2009 He's a professional in IT was one of the top 10 in the Country.. I know this cause the company I use to work for hired him based on his qualifications, He teaches English, he's also a writer for an online mag... always reading, conducting research, and he's has his own house, car, no kids. He is far from low standards... The sexiest thing about him is his brain.
harmfulsweetz Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 He's a professional in IT was one of the top 10 in the Country.. I know this cause the company I use to work for hired him based on his qualifications, He teaches English, he's also a writer for an online mag... always reading, conducting research, and he's has his own house, car, no kids. He is far from low standards... The sexiest thing about him is his brain. Not into you. Simples. Sorry, but choosing a guy who is accomplished doesn't equate to high standards. He can have the highest IQ in the world, but if you stick with him based on that and not how he treats you, then you have low standards.
meerkat stew Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 If the guy isn't nervous, then he isn't too into you - even if he kisses you. Agree with the "kiss = interest" part, but the above is flat out wrong, and more wrong the older and higher experience level of the man in question. Past a certain point of experience, most men just aren't that nervous about first kisses any more, and focus almost entirely on technique and making sure the first kiss is as much fun and sexy as possible for both. If OP's guy was 18 and not 33, maybe.
Author Minx973 Posted December 13, 2009 Author Posted December 13, 2009 Thank you for your feedback... I dont thing the other Ladies really understand there is more to life than getting a ring, point is, the relationship was working for me the way it was, until I become still with nothing to do. We never had the open /close relationship talk. I wasnt focused on our relationship then, we have history, even thou we dated on and off again for almost two yrs. I think I have high standards for a guy... what I dont want in a guy is one who is needy, not stable, and one who lacks ambition. which he has, it sometimes takes a swiff kick in the butt for him to get around to it.
Author Minx973 Posted December 13, 2009 Author Posted December 13, 2009 I think he treat me well, we go out when possible (schedules), he show his support, he gets involved in my intrest, attends social gathering when asked. And if I ever needed anything he is there for me.
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