tigressA Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 I reinstated my OKCupid profile and went on 2 dates. One was on Thursday and it was a total bust. Conversation flowed pretty well, but I didn't feel any attraction to him whatsoever. He gave off a slight creeper vibe and when we left for the restaurant he'd said "I don't have a lot of money on me right now" as though he expected me to fleece him for all he was worth on our very first meeting, which was a huge turn-off. It lasted about two hours; he IMed me when he got back home asking me what I thought. I said, "I don't see anything more happening, I don't feel an attraction to you at all." All he said was, "Mhmm suuuure" and I blocked him from contacting me again. I was uncomfortable with the idea of going out with him some time after we'd started talking because he was being quite forward--calling me pet names, talking about going in for a kiss, etc, but I felt bad about calling it off. Lesson learned--from now on, I'm going to trust my gut so I don't waste my time. Earlier today I had my date with the guy who I found out goes to my school and it went really well. We went out for coffee and then to an antiques store (he was trying to find accessories for his mom's antique dollhouse for a Christmas gift). He seemed a bit nervous at first, but we clicked really well. He was quite gentlemanly; he came up to my door when he arrived, escorted me to my door when he dropped me off (guys I know don't normally do this), said he had a great time and would like to see me again. I liked him; I definitely wouldn't mind seeing him again. There are several others who I've been in pretty regular contact with on the site who seem interested, so I could be meeting them at some point. So far it's 1-1, not bad. This is fun.
Boundary Problem Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 So glad you had a good time. 1:1 is a great track record for online dating. How about asking if he wants to go to an antique auction? We have some in my area and it is fun to see all the estate sale stuff. Auctions can be alot of fun especially if you grab a coffee first and then looking at the stuff and watching the other bidders will give you something to talk about (and maybe even buy).
Author tigressA Posted December 13, 2009 Author Posted December 13, 2009 That's so funny because while we were there I was telling him about how my best friend in high school and I would go with her parents to these antique auction houses and antique malls, that we'd just walk around for hours looking at everything. That's a good idea...I don't know if there are any auction houses close to where I am but I could look it up.
boogieboy Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 Im just happy that you could easily turn a guy down with the truth. "I don't see anything more happening, I don't feel an attraction to you at all." Too many women on this board seem to have a problem with this...even in text. Its ridiculous. Can I recruit you to explain to them how to do this when they post?
Author tigressA Posted December 13, 2009 Author Posted December 13, 2009 Im just happy that you could easily turn a guy down with the truth. "I don't see anything more happening, I don't feel an attraction to you at all." Too many women on this board seem to have a problem with this...even in text. Its ridiculous. Can I recruit you to explain to them how to do this when they post? Sure! I'm happy to just tell the simple truth. I really couldn't say anything else. I knew that if I said "I had a nice time" or anything else like that he'd more than likely think there was still a chance even though there wasn't, because I knew he was interested, and I knew he'd keep pestering me if I tried to "let him down gently".
melodymatters Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 Im just happy that you could easily turn a guy down with the truth. "I don't see anything more happening, I don't feel an attraction to you at all." Too many women on this board seem to have a problem with this...even in text. Its ridiculous. Can I recruit you to explain to them how to do this when they post? Yeah, you'd think so, but........I got an IM on a dating site i've been playing around on. I read the guys profile and we had NOTHING in common and he said a few things that were definite turn offs, so I politley IM back : I read your profile, and don't really think we are a match, no offense. Thanks for IM'ing and have a great day !" he tests back that "Well now I"LL be honest , you seem really shallow ! You don't know me and you never will ! WTF ? I was like " Ok, apparently my radar is working just fine, as here you are trying to pick a fight with a stranger on the internet ! too funny !" So, you think being polite and honest won't backfire, but now I'm just going to ignore IM's from people who I don't think are a match ! Good for yout Tigressa ! I have been talking with someone myself, I like his pics, his personality and his phone voice, so we will just have to see if the ever elusive chemistry is there when we meet next week !
Author tigressA Posted December 13, 2009 Author Posted December 13, 2009 Oh melody, that's really funny! I hope your meeting next week goes well!
boogieboy Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 So, you think being polite and honest won't backfire, but now I'm just going to ignore IM's from people who I don't think are a match ! Well if its just an IM, and you hadnt talked to the guy for a month, you dont have to answer it, Im talking situations where you went out with the guy like Tigress did.
Author tigressA Posted December 13, 2009 Author Posted December 13, 2009 Well if its just an IM, and you hadnt talked to the guy for a month, you dont have to answer it, Im talking situations where you went out with the guy like Tigress did. Yeah, exactly. From the start I straight-up ignored all messages that didn't interest me and blocked the guys who sent them; that's worked really well. I have several other guys aside from the successful date who I like and can see something happening with, so for now I'm ignoring all messages I get that aren't from those guys. I think that's the best thing to do since I don't want to have any more on my plate.
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