april12 Posted December 18, 2003 Posted December 18, 2003 [font=arial][/font][color=darkred][/color]I met and started dating a man about 8 months ago--I have never met a man that I have had this much in common with--we will be pursuing the same masters program in the fall. The story goes like this--we dated for about 2 months before I went to Europe for 6 weeks he met me while I was there--The experience was magical--but it also scared the crap out of both of us so when I got back we decided to chill and try to just be friends--that worked for a while but the feelings and the connection did not leave--he began to pull away all together--then I announced that I had to pull away to that I wanted to date other people and that I needed for us to just be friends. We tried this, I met another man and dated him for a while and I think he dated a little too. For the last two months I was seeing both men but only involved intimately with one--the one that I was in the relationship with--Feelings began to intensify between us and we began to spend nearly every day and nite together--this was so frightening to me-- and last week I totally ran--I created this ridiculous drama where I went to talk to him at 7 am and told him I couldn't do this any more--He tried to call all day, I wouldn't take his calls--when we finally did talk he said he agreed and told me that even though he loves me he can't make a commitment to me now. I immediately began to regret the way I did this and I told him so. He thinks we should try to just clean break from each other--Problem is I love him and I ran because I was so afraid--I totally stopped seeing the other guy but it seems too late for the man that I love and I to fix this. He doesn't want to talk anymore and said we should take time awany from each other---I miss him. Do you think there is hope--what do I do to make this right. April
Errol Posted December 18, 2003 Posted December 18, 2003 Whatever you were afraid of -- is it still a factor? I wouldn't want to commit to someone who runs out of fear - it would be darn hard for me to trust that person again -- what if they get afraid of something else? From now on maybe you should Face your fears, communicate, and work through it or make an informed decision together. Maybe a clean break is the right thing to do -- you don't want to be with someone who doesn't trust you.
Author april12 Posted December 19, 2003 Author Posted December 19, 2003 Thanks for your response, The fear I felt was directly related to the intensity of the connection that I feel to this person. I am a single mom and I haven't dated in a while--You are correct, I should have talked to him first and communicated how I was feeling--I have certainly learned from this situation. Thanks again for your response and as the saying goes--If it is meant to be it will be.
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