DarkShadowLegion Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 Me and this girl meet through a friend and at first i didnt like her but after we talked alittle bit i started to like her. I got her number and we started tlking over the phone. One of our friends asked her if she like me and she said yes. Two days later i ask her to make sure and and she said she does like me. About 2 weeks ago on a monday another friend of ours asked her if she really likes me and she said no. But the weekend before that monday she said over the phone how much she did like me. Later that monday after school i talked to her over the phone and this was the conversaion: Me: " I heard some stories today and i want to know straight up do you like me" Her: " I might as well say no... only because i dont want to be ur Girlfriend, but its not like i dont like you i jus dont want to be ur girlfriend." Thats not the whole conversation but thats the just the gist of it. Hearing that made my heart drop. I only talked to her over the phone once since then, but she still says hey to me during school if she sees me. The thing i cant get through my head is, she still acts like she likes me during school but i know she doesnt. I still kinda like her and want to be friends but im affraid that my feelings will stay same. A little part inside of me wishes there was a way to get her to like me again but i dont think there is. We had mostly everything in common and she sounded happy when we talked. I want to know what went wrong but i dont want to ask her if i dont have to. Im thinkin our friend that asked her 2 weeks ago whe she said no had said somethin to her before than to make her change her mind. I want to get over her but my mind wont let me. Theres this girl that i think is her friend that i have a feeling likes me and i like her but i dont want to go further with her until i get over the other girl. What happended? How cna i get over her?
HOTGIMMICK Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 here is your problem boy. its called FEAR. how is it that your going the in direct route and not the direct. don't you know thats a major turn off. next time you like a girl don't hide behind asking other people if they like you. have CONFIDANCE and approach her directly. make her laugh and have fun till she thinks she can't do a day without you. wait. what did i say? did i just say you can make her attracted to you? yes i did. now you don't have to worry asking people if they attracted to a total strange who hides in the dark. now your the guy she knows for sure she wants to be with. sacred ain't you? well this is the only way to be a MAN.
meerkat stew Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 (edited) Wish there had been resources like LS when I was going through what you are now. Here are a few pointers: 1. Never ask a girl if she likes you, never tell a girl you like her. The sooner you can move from the position of liking a girl and then trying to get with her to seeing all the girls as possibilities and then going through a process of weeding out the ones that aren't worthy, the better. Instead... 2. If you are interested in a girl, call her on the phone and ask her out on a date. The more active date, the better, a walk in the park is better than dinner and a movie. Movies are awful early dates. Be specific as to day, time, place, without sounding too formal or nervous. Then shut up, don't say anything, until she says yes or no. If she says no, but offers an alternative, try to take her up on it. Do not allow her to offer conditions on the date, grill you, or add in ridiculous things like bringing other people. If she does these things, just cancel gracefully and move on. 3. Do not get hung up on one girl. Try to meet several girls that you want to ask out, preferably not friends with each other, and ask them out until you get a positive response. 4. Do not have long phone conversations with them, do not get into hyper texting with them. You call them to ask them out, then gracefully exit the conversation once you have their answer. Save all the talking you do with girls for face to face on dates. Don't try to befriend girls hoping they will come around and want to date you, it doesn't work that way. They will whine and whine about your phone silence, try to make you feel bad for not talking/texting constantly. Don't listen to it. I have never heard of a woman breaking things off with a guy who was taking her on fun dates simply because he doesn't spend hours on the phone or text back and forth all day, let her do those things with her GFs and wormy guys who don't "get it." 5. Do not involve friends in your dating at all. Do not talk about what you do on dates or ask advice from friends. Never tell anyone physical details of what you do with a girl, no one... ever. 6. If a girl breaks a single date without offering a sincere apology -and- offering an alternative date, mark her off your list and move on. If a girl breaks two dates, do not call her again and move on to other options no matter what unless she throws herself at you and begs for another chance. This will almost never happen, but could. 7. Never have serious conversations on dates about being BF/GF. Always be light, funny and flirty. The way you show interest in a girl is to keep taking her out on fun dates, not pressuring her or trying to rope her in. If she loses interest in you, she will stop accepting dates with you. 8. Always kiss a woman at the end of a date unless she very obviously doesn't want to be kissed. Put your hand on her upper arm, lean in and kiss her on the mouth. If she turns her cheek on the first or second date, it's totally cool, just smile and say good night. After several dates, if she still won't kiss you, move on to other options. Always let the girl know that you are sexually attracted to her. Always be hitting on her and flirting with her in a polite way. Do not overcompliment girls though, this is very important. Don't give compliments until she earns them by treating you well and with respect over time, and when you do compliment, make it as specific as possible. 9. Let her talk more than you. Girls are listening to every thing you say and analyzing to a level of detail you would not believe, and will interpret half of it totally wrong. So keep your mouth shut and ears open more than not. 10. You are doing the hard work of asking out and planning, wait for -her- to bring up being BF/GF, going steady, whatever the equivalent is today. Doing so will show that she is willing to meet you halfway and take some risk. You don't want to be with a girl who sits passively while expecting you to do every bit of the work. These are just some raw basics to keep your sanity when trying to build a social life for yourself. If you start buying into all their drama and rationalizations, you will very quickly go completely insane. Short circuit the process by simplifying and limiting your interactions and you will develop skills that will serve you the rest of your life. Edited December 13, 2009 by meerkat stew
Author DarkShadowLegion Posted December 13, 2009 Author Posted December 13, 2009 here is your problem boy. its called FEAR. how is it that your going the in direct route and not the direct. don't you know thats a major turn off. next time you like a girl don't hide behind asking other people if they like you. have CONFIDANCE and approach her directly. make her laugh and have fun till she thinks she can't do a day without you. wait. what did i say? did i just say you can make her attracted to you? yes i did. now you don't have to worry asking people if they attracted to a total strange who hides in the dark. now your the guy she knows for sure she wants to be with. sacred ain't you? well this is the only way to be a MAN. I wasnt hiding behind anyone. The friend that asked her asked her after i got her number and we actually tlked. I was planning on asking her on a date that weekend but everyone of or friends keep buding in so we never got a chance to do anything, i think thats what turned her off, all our friends asking about us. There are 2 new girls anyway so ill take ur advice and use it
HLP234 Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 Number 4 and number 9 kind of messed up my relationship with my girl. She loved to talk all the time and I would always listen. But then she would say I'm not talking back or being bored..that I'm not expressing myself. I would talk about something and she would just continue talking about her own stuff which is fine because we basically could talk about anything. I tell her how I feel, because how else do guys express themselves? And she says I'm crying about it. All in all, you can use these to see if she is sensitive, really emotional, or has something to hide that may affect you guys later..I found out the hard way because mine is stubborn, and very sensitive to everything, insecure because of her last bf's..and now she can't commit or trust me because I treated her so nicely.
HOTGIMMICK Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 Number 4 and number 9 kind of messed up my relationship with my girl. She loved to talk all the time and I would always listen. But then she would say I'm not talking back or being bored..that I'm not expressing myself. I would talk about something and she would just continue talking about her own stuff which is fine because we basically could talk about anything. I tell her how I feel, because how else do guys express themselves? And she says I'm crying about it. All in all, you can use these to see if she is sensitive. here is problem with the world. people just love to dish out step by step actions on what to do and what not to do. making these kids act on these steps only to look like a mimic and yes an actor. first there is no way you will remember 1 to 9. only pure experience will get you by. experience comes with confidance.
meerkat stew Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 here is problem with the world. people just love to dish out step by step actions on what to do and what not to do. making these kids act on these steps only to look like a mimic and yes an actor. first there is no way you will remember 1 to 9. only pure experience will get you by. experience comes with confidance. Nothing in those steps would make anyone look like a mimic or actor, hyperbole much? They aren't gamey in the least. They are very crude basics on how a guy who is at the stage of asking women whether they "like him or not" can have more success and maintain his sanity. Most of it is plain common sense.
HOTGIMMICK Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 Nothing in those steps would make anyone look like a mimic or actor, hyperbole much? They aren't gamey in the least. They are very crude basics on how a guy who is at the stage of asking women whether they "like him or not" can have more success and maintain his sanity. Most of it is plain common sense. Experience tells me, when you pack someone with does and don't it over loads their mental sphere till response time is delayed out of mere over thought of a simple situation and thus the "actor" appearance shows. I do agree, what you wrote is common sense.
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