ekt21 Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 Why is it that I cant see how much my ex burned me and caused me so much pain, yet when he makes contact I jump to him and I totally forget what I'm going through like my broken heart suddenly got better? when I know deep down its wrong and I need to move on. Its like I'm waiting for him to make the contact cause I know he will though either email or txt I've never been strong enough to ignore it. I am doing NC but its hard when we have run ins at least 3 times a week. I need to move on from him once and for all! Anybody got some advice?
USMCHokie Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 It all starts with ignoring that first email or text...each time it'll get easier...how long has it been since the breakup? It's certainly tougher at the beginning, but you have to have faith that time will heal all wounds...
Author ekt21 Posted December 12, 2009 Author Posted December 12, 2009 well he dumped me in mid june cause he didnt like the direction it was going in okay? after a year of being together he dumped me over a text message. I had NC for almost 3 months which was the rest of the summer then when i moved back for school to start up I ran into him around campus and that is what started our talking again. Since September we slept together about 6 times already but I've completely stopped it already cause I couldnt do it anymore because my heart was getting ripped out every time it happened. I didnt know how he could just sleep with me and act like everything was alright. So i felt used and now I'm on NC. its hard when most of my friends are mutual friends with him. It's very hard to escape him!
LovelyDaze Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 There's a line in "The Matrix" I love. Trinity: Neo... nobody has ever done this before. Neo: I know. That's why it's going to work. Love that. Just take it step by step. Don't answer the next text/call/e-mail. No matter HOW urgent. Leave it be. Your integrity and self respect will grow by leaps and bounds until you go from heartbroken to strong to not giving a damn what the hell he wants. Trust me....I know.
Author ekt21 Posted December 13, 2009 Author Posted December 13, 2009 he tires so hard to become my friend yet i know its not gonna work when i do have feelings for him still. Every 2 weeks well it seems he sends me "how you doing" emails? I really want to know why does he care so much?? he dumped me!
LovelyDaze Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 Hate to say it, but probably as a "reserve girlfriend" at best. Like my ex, he had the audacity to ask if I would WAIT for him just in case his other relationship fails...WTF? Leave him right where he is. You know you deserve better than that.
Author ekt21 Posted December 13, 2009 Author Posted December 13, 2009 EVERYONE tells me that I deserve better but what is it about him that I would jump back into his arms at any moment yet I know deep down its WRONG. He left me high and dry in tears, pain. He was my first well if you want to call it "real" relationship. I gave him my vcard. Maybe thats why i see it so hard to just let him go. All of his friends said that they do not approve of the way he handled things during our break up that would be his best friends now mine. Funny huh?
xoxo88 Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 ekt21 i can tell i know what you're going through because it happend pretty much the same to me. We broke up in late april via messenger and i'm still trying to het over it. Just like you, my heart jumped when he contacted me even though i'm so disappointed with the way he handled our break up. It makes me angry that sometimes i still miss him despise the lame things he did. So our stories are pretty similar but i can't tell you either why i fell like that about him after everything he has done to me. Right now he's got another girlfirend he's very happy with and i'm just trying to accept i'm out of his life forever. Try to focus on the negative things he did when you miss him. It sometimes helps.
Author ekt21 Posted December 13, 2009 Author Posted December 13, 2009 I'm finding it so hard to remember the bad times, I only reply the good times. It sucks. All i really want to do it tell him how I feel. But I can't cause he doesn't tell me how he feels he just hides it with big words and stuff. I'm young I shouldn't be having to deal with such pain or do I?
LovelyDaze Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 I'm finding it so hard to remember the bad times, I only reply the good times. It sucks. All i really want to do it tell him how I feel. But I can't cause he doesn't tell me how he feels he just hides it with big words and stuff. I'm young I shouldn't be having to deal with such pain or do I? Actually, life and love is pain. Even our exes aren't and won't be immune to it. If a person walking around right now is happy holding hands with someone now has never experienced a break-up....they will with THAT person then. Forever is just not feasible these days. You go through a few loves in your lifetime. The reason WE ALL feel like our exes make our hearts race is because they are the last to touch our hearts in a way that no one else could at the time. And not only that, we haven't met the next person that WILL make us feel like that again. The new love is out there. Possibly in a marriage soon to end, dating, single, or whatever...but they are next. Each ex is a lesson to us on what NOT to look for in a relationship. Our ex already told us that they are not the one for us. Don't find another like him unless you just want to go through the same heartache again.
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