I never went NC with this guy i used to date, but I dont know if we can be friends!!

[bigapplejen]

I used to see this guy for months. We were really great together, but he never made that much time for me. He had so many excuses, and i think he led me on the entire time. So, i started dating other guys and just been seeing him off and on. The part that hurts, is tha the still wont be honest, when i know he is on a date or whatever (arent friends honest with each other?) yet, when i am out, he gets jealous and acts like it bothers him. Because he knows that when i am at a bar, i am getting hit on. I guess the fact that he cant be straight with me, i feel very betrayed. I dont know if i should apply the rule " Dont ask, dont tell" or if friendship is even possible with this guy? he initiates most contact nowadays. Just wondering if i need some space from him for a while

 

I kind of think he was a player. He always had a really good excuse for everything. How can i possibly be friends with someone who cant even be honest with me and confide in me?

[boogieboy]

I think you know this guy isnt a friend. You are his booty call. You cant be friends with someone you still have feelings for, and someone who acts like youre his property. He wants to date around and doesnt want you to. Thats not a friendship. Theres nothing to salvage there, you need to stop talking to him permanently and get on with your life.

[gtrguy]

Sounds like the typical NYC story. Have seen it/heard it a million times. There is always a guy in a girl's life who is able to use her for sex without developing any emotional attachment.

 

You know the answer to this and I'm sure a lot of your friends have experienced it. Get rid of this loser, be truly "single", and go focus on meeting a guy who actually wants to be with you. Not just use you for sex while he is out banging other girls on the days you don't hear from him. Brutal honesty here.

[2sunny]

did i miss something? did OP say she has had sex with him?

 

OP - when he sees you is he expecting it to include sex?

 

decide, he's either a friend or someone you would date... there is usually no middle ground with men. if he's just a friend, then keep the boundary as such so he doesn't get mixed signals when you spend time with others.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

Men simply do not do the "friends" thing.

 

Men who are hovering in your midst are always "in line".

 

They may be 100th in line to the throne that represents the lone soul to whom you offer your romantic and sexual affection, but they are still in-line. At this same point they may picture themselves as being 2nd or 3rd in that line, yet it is still a line.

 

Either continue to let this person believe he may one day be able to ('do') you, or cease the idea of being 'friends' with him.

[D-Lish]

You can't be friends in this situation- not if you have feelings for him (or him for you).

 

I have been "friends" with the same guy for over a year and we just keep spinning in circles...It's unhealthy.

[bigapplejen]

You can't be friends in this situation- not if you have feelings for him (or him for you).

 

I have been "friends" with the same guy for over a year and we just keep spinning in circles...It's unhealthy.

 

Yeah, we have been spinning in circles for almost a year too. I though i would be able to keep it casual, but it bothers both of us that were dating. He never wanted to commit though, and never had time for me.

[Boundary Problem]

Can you try just ignoring the behaviours you don't like.

 

 

When disciplining a male child, that is the best way to have them cease the problem behaviour.

 

 

Then if he is really not listening... well you go down the discipline list.

 

 

But ignoring is always an option. You can ignore people in the same room.