lyadm Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 Just thought I would throw all this out there. I don't know if it will help anyone or not, but you never know. For anyone who doesn't know my story I am the MW who developed a relationship/EA with another man. My marriage was bad long before I met this OM. For three years I have worked on my education and career to ensure I would be able to take care of my children and myself. My husband is an alcoholic and what my kids and I have been through has been hard, but finally I have made it to the point that I had to get out of the marriage and now I am able to support us. (I had to do this because the H never did, it was always up to me to make ends meet) The OM and I have known each other for 2 years now. Over the time we have known each other we have talked, but never saw each other so there was never anything physical. I complied with NC for 9 months and focused every last bit of my concentration on getting my children and I to the place we needed to be. My divorce will be final in just a few weeks. The papers are signed, sealed and delivered. I updated my OM, who was and is a wonderful friend of mine, on what was going on now. I finally got to see him and spend some time with him (nothing physical), which was wonderful. I always wanted him to know that when I was able to divorce it would have nothing to do with him. The problems were there long before I ever knew he existed and I wanted to prove that to him, because my divorce ultimately had nothing to do with him. Because of all this now I have a chance to really develop a relationship with him and discover if there will be anything more than a friendship. He will always be a special friend because he quietly stood by me in times I had no one else. He was the only person whom I could talk to openly and honestly and not be trashed. He never gave me any advice that could be considered beneficial to him in any way. Who knows where any of it will go. My priorities are still the same; my children and taking care of them are #1. He knows this and always has and he supports it 100% because he understands. But now he and I have a chance. And chances are what they are..nothing more or less. So we will see where it all goes. But for all of the OM and OW out there only you know the intentions you have and where you want it to go. In my case I had nothing to loose by walking away from a painful, emotionally draining marriage. Examine your intentions and that of the OM or OW's.....in that you may find answers....and take them for what they are.
cybersister Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 wow, you are strong and purposeful. Your kids will come out of this fine.if things work out for you and your friend that will be a bonus. Thanks for sharing
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