so lost

[njjenn27]

I feel like my world is spinning out of control, like im in a bad nightmare that I can't wake up from...

 

The day after Thanksgiving, My husband of 14 years,together 17, said we need to talk...oh no! I got the old "I love you but Im not in Love with you deal" was a shock to me we never even fight and just a month before we went our first vacation alone to Jamaica. So I asked if there was someone else he insisted NO..Well he lied. He says he hasnt slept with her and he is just getting to know her and Its none of my concern and shes not the reason he feels this way, yeah ok, I dont believe that. Anyway we really can't seperate seprate because he just got laid off and we are barely making it together much less seperating. and no we dont have anywhere else to stay like with family or anything. He says he will move into another room until we get on our feet and I get a better job. I have been mostly a stay at home mom and relied on him to take care of us big mistake on my part.

We havent told both of our children yet only the oldest she is 16 well rather HE told her in the middle of the night while I was in bed, he said he didnt love me and he met someone and he was gushing about her! WTF!!! I was livid I yelled at him and said listen sure shes 16 but what is wrong with you not discussing it with me and going on about this whatever you wanna call her.

I dont know what to believe I love my husband with all my heart and dont want our marriage to end, maybe its a midlife crisis he turned 40 today in combination with him just losing his job, or if he really doesnt love me. I just dont know what to do and wish I didnt have to see him everyday knowing he is talking to her. It breaks my heart. Im stupid also since the "talk" I have slept with him a few times but Im done. Im going to a doctor next week to get get tested for everything. and yes she knows he's married.

Thanks for listening

[sugarmomma]

He has the nerve to be cheating and doesn't have a job? You have to hold on to some of your dignity. Do not sleep with him thinking that he won't go to her becasue he will and you will feel worse. Pull it otgether and make him live in the consequences of his decisions. That way when it doesn't work with her, he will know that you won't allow that to happen again. He is so wrong on so many levels.

[Gunny376]

You need to kick his @zz out the door, change the locks. He's giving you the ILYBNILWY speech, doesn't have a job, (which in infer you do ~ ref: "Until you can find a better job") and therefore your the one that's bringing home the bacon.

 

Now she knows he doesn't have a job, and that he married ~ am I right on this one?

 

Your oldest is 16, and so I'm guessing here that you've got the standard issued 2.6 children or more.

 

What do you need this guy for? He's dead weight weighing you down. Being married to an @zzhat like this is like dragging a dead horse around with everywhere you go?

 

My guess would be its not a MLC, but more depression and escapism from having lost his job.

 

I'd kick his @zz to the curb. She may want to play ~ but I'm willing to bet she's not willing to pay to support him.

 

I'm guessing that since he just got laid off, that the reason the two of you are 'just making it' is because your working, he's not and drawing unemployment.

 

Well guess what? He's still seriously obligated to pay child support wheather seperated or divorce, drawing un-employment ~ or not. And that's about 25% or more of his net income,, depending upon where you live.

 

If you want to save the marriage ~ you still need to kick his @zz out.

 

A couple of months of living under overpasses, eating BennieWennies out of a can, sleeping in a hollow log, drinking muddy water out of a creek ought to bring him around to his senses.

 

I can promise you that "Miss I'm Just Getting To Know Her" isn't going to take him in, and if she did or does ~ that won"t last very long without him having a job.