Curious-One Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 In order to be successful you have to play these stupid mindless games that even most children would think is funny. I am talking about -Not replying ///waiting to reply on texts so that you seem busy -Saying you cant do something with him/her on weekend because you dont want to seem like you have no life - Canceling/flaking so that the other person stays interested or so that you seem like you have a life or you are busy -Not calling someone so that they can miss you and wonder what happened to you. Seriously how stupid can someone be to actually think you are busy and cant answer a text that takes on average 5-15 seconds to write. I know you saw the text msg and i know you are ignoring it on purpose most of the time. Even if you are busy i know if you really wanted to you could reply back with "busy cant talk/text now" to be polite. If you really think about it, ITS REALLY RUDE NOT TO REPLY TO SOMEONE OR CALL SOMEONE BACK. If a stranger asked you "hi how are you" or "Whats up" and you just pretended you were busy or didnt reply at all...THAT WOULD BE CONSIDERED RUDE. Crazy thing is that we seem to think that its normal when you ignore someone that YOU HAVE MET AND EXCHANGED NUMBERS. Both males and females do this and i have seen plenty of people on this msg board post that they didnt pick up the phone or waited to reply to a text so that the other person can chase them or miss them. This also shows that they have a life and are busy. I feel that this is why so many people are frustrated with dating these days. What are your thoughts on this?? Do you or have you done any of these things in the past ???
torranceshipman Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 I totally agree that these rules are dumb, & they can actually ruin your chances with some people. Sadly they do work on sone types though, especially the 'thrill of the chase' types that want validation or to feel like they've 'won' something...
Malenfant Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 it is a bit daft, the problem is some people like to think they are a psychologist, and try to approach a relationship in a clinical, freudian mannor. relationships shouldnt be this way. if what you really want to do is text them back straight away, then you should do that. dont play hard to get just because you were told this is the way to keep someone interested. playing mind games and not acting on impulse creates a false impression. If you entrap someone based on a false impression you've given of yourself, how can it ever be expected to last? Allow the other person to know how you feel, if they want you, then you know its for you, not because you were mysterious. the mystery doesnt last long.
Woggle Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 Modern day dating is pretty much like war. You develop a strategy to get what you want and if that doesn't work you change things.
temple Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 Not everyone is like this, but it seems the vast majority are. It's mind boggling to me too.
b52s Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 In order to be successful you have to play these stupid mindless games that even most children would think is funny. I am talking about -Not replying ///waiting to reply on texts so that you seem busy -Saying you cant do something with him/her on weekend because you dont want to seem like you have no life - Canceling/flaking so that the other person stays interested or so that you seem like you have a life or you are busy -Not calling someone so that they can miss you and wonder what happened to you. Seriously how stupid can someone be to actually think you are busy and cant answer a text that takes on average 5-15 seconds to write. I know you saw the text msg and i know you are ignoring it on purpose most of the time. Even if you are busy i know if you really wanted to you could reply back with "busy cant talk/text now" to be polite. If you really think about it, ITS REALLY RUDE NOT TO REPLY TO SOMEONE OR CALL SOMEONE BACK. If a stranger asked you "hi how are you" or "Whats up" and you just pretended you were busy or didnt reply at all...THAT WOULD BE CONSIDERED RUDE. Crazy thing is that we seem to think that its normal when you ignore someone that YOU HAVE MET AND EXCHANGED NUMBERS. Both males and females do this and i have seen plenty of people on this msg board post that they didnt pick up the phone or waited to reply to a text so that the other person can chase them or miss them. This also shows that they have a life and are busy. I feel that this is why so many people are frustrated with dating these days. What are your thoughts on this?? Do you or have you done any of these things in the past ??? Ah, this explains why I'm still single, I actually want dates on the weekend and come off that I'm not interested in dating....to get women to like me. If I actually LIKE a woman and SHOW it.....that will chase them off.....hello everyone today is "OPPOSITE DAY"! (Remember Opposite Day) morel like Opposite Generation!
SoulSearch_CO Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 I have zero game. I hate playing them. If I see a guy I like sent me a text, I can try to tell myself I shouldn't reply right away because of conventional...uh..."wisdom" about appearing desperate - but I'm never able to do it. The only way I've been able to avoid answering a text is leaving the phone somewhere that I'm not (like in my car when I go to the gym, or in my coat pocket when I'm at work - coat on hook). And the only times I've deliberately left my phone somewhere so I wouldn't answer - was because I got fed up with lack of response on his end. ORRR, alternatively - I know he's legitimately busy and I'm not going to get a return text for awhile. But yes - I hate this game, myself. It's so stupid and I agree - very rude.
You'reasian Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 (edited) In order to be successful you have to play these stupid mindless games that even most children would think is funny. I am talking about -Not replying ///waiting to reply on texts so that you seem busy -Saying you cant do something with him/her on weekend because you dont want to seem like you have no life - Canceling/flaking so that the other person stays interested or so that you seem like you have a life or you are busy -Not calling someone so that they can miss you and wonder what happened to you. Seriously how stupid can someone be to actually think you are busy and cant answer a text that takes on average 5-15 seconds to write. I know you saw the text msg and i know you are ignoring it on purpose most of the time. Even if you are busy i know if you really wanted to you could reply back with "busy cant talk/text now" to be polite. If you really think about it, ITS REALLY RUDE NOT TO REPLY TO SOMEONE OR CALL SOMEONE BACK. If a stranger asked you "hi how are you" or "Whats up" and you just pretended you were busy or didnt reply at all...THAT WOULD BE CONSIDERED RUDE. Crazy thing is that we seem to think that its normal when you ignore someone that YOU HAVE MET AND EXCHANGED NUMBERS. Both males and females do this and i have seen plenty of people on this msg board post that they didnt pick up the phone or waited to reply to a text so that the other person can chase them or miss them. This also shows that they have a life and are busy. I feel that this is why so many people are frustrated with dating these days. What are your thoughts on this?? Do you or have you done any of these things in the past ??? Simple solution. Don't play them. Initiate the contact once. They don't respond. Give them some time - say a day or two - then try again. No response? move on. They may try to move to string-along mode. Move on. If you're doing most of the contacting, the other person is probably not interested in you. Find someone who is Edited December 12, 2009 by You'reasian
boogieboy Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 I dont play these games. Anyone who doesnt reply to my right away, I write them off as not interested. I dont chase them after that. Its a great filter to only work with the ladies that are really into me. Plus these ladies that are into me like me alot more when I DONT play the games.
Author Curious-One Posted December 12, 2009 Author Posted December 12, 2009 (edited) Simple solution. Don't play them. Initiate the contact once. They don't respond. Give them some time - say a day or two - then try again. No response? move on. They may try to move to string-along mode. Move on. If you're doing most of the contacting, the other person is probably not interested in you. Find someone who is I DONT play them because i SIMPLY REFUSE TO PLAY THEM. For example this semester in college i met a girl in the class and got her number. She actually offered me her number after i suggested we should study sometime. I knew she was interested in me, she was constantly flirting w me (touching me,always talking to me, sitting next to me every class, wasnt happy about me not saving her seat next to me when she was late one time, and constantly playing with her hair while talking to me)... from my experience all those signs are signs of interest. Furthermore it seemed she was more focused on me than the instructor. SO i text her 2 times and she doesn't respond, when in class she acts normal so after class i post her up on it and ask if she got my texts. She says yes blah blah and i streight up tell her that its rude not to respond and i dont like that. So next text i send her she responds, i send another one it takes her forever to respond and the third one she never responded. Mind you those texts were like on 3 different days so it wasnt like i was bothering her at all..just simple questions. Anyway next time she came to class i pretty much ignored her and spend more time focusing on the girl that was on the other side. She kept trying to talk to me and was constantly flirting throughout the semester but i wasnt having it. Sad thing is i would definitely not mind dating her but i refuse to play the stupid games of cat and mouse like we are in kindergarten. Edited December 12, 2009 by Curious-One
alphamale Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 What are your thoughts on this?? if you really like someone you'll respond. my personal experience has been that when two people are genuinely sexually attracted to each other things move pretty darn quickly.
You'reasian Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 I DONT play them because i SIMPLY REFUSE TO PLAY THEM. For example this semester in college i met a girl in the class and got her number. She actually offered me her number after i suggested we should study sometime. I knew she was interested in me, she was constantly flirting w me (touching me,always talking to me, sitting next to me every class, wasnt happy about me not saving her seat next to me when she was late one time, and constantly playing with her hair while talking to me)... from my experience all those signs are signs of interest. Furthermore it seemed she was more focused on me than the instructor. SO i text her 2 times and she doesn't respond, when in class she acts normal so after class i post her up on it and ask if she got my texts. She says yes blah blah and i streight up tell her that its rude not to respond and i dont like that. So next text i send her she responds, i send another one it takes her forever to respond and the third one she never responded. Mind you those texts were like on 3 different days so it wasnt like i was bothering her at all..just simple questions. Anyway next time she came to class i pretty much ignored her and spend more time focusing on the girl that was on the other side. She kept trying to talk to me and was constantly flirting throughout the semester but i wasnt having it. Sad thing is i would definitely not mind dating her but i refuse to play the stupid games of cat and mouse like we are in kindergarten. They're college girls. 18-22, just entering the begining of adulthood. They've spent the overwhelming majority of their lives as children - granted there are some young women who are very mentally and emotionally mature for their age, but the overwhelming majority are where they are at. Look for women in the 24-27 age range. Its closer to what you want, but its harder for a younger guy to date older women in that range. Best of luck
callingyouuu Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 Anyway next time she came to class i pretty much ignored her and spend more time focusing on the girl that was on the other side. She kept trying to talk to me and was constantly flirting throughout the semester but i wasnt having it. Sad thing is i would definitely not mind dating her but i refuse to play the stupid games of cat and mouse like we are in kindergarten. I've been in the a similar situation before, and I did exactly the same thing. Giving up on the "game" is pretty freeing, actually. I can't understand why so many people choose to keep up with it.
Author Curious-One Posted December 12, 2009 Author Posted December 12, 2009 They're college girls. 18-22, just entering the begining of adulthood. They've spent the overwhelming majority of their lives as children - granted there are some young women who are very mentally and emotionally mature for their age, but the overwhelming majority are where they are at. Look for women in the 24-27 age range. Its closer to what you want, but its harder for a younger guy to date older women in that range. Best of luck I am 22 and she was 21.. hmm i always thought 21 yo girls were mature but i guess u r right.
alphamale Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 .. hmm i always thought 21 yo girls were mature ... they are mature physically but thats about it
ADF Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 OP, I couldn't agree more, the head games you describe are common and horrible. I don't play them, nor do I tolerate people who do. Such behaviors reflect the fact that many people don't see dating as a search for companionship, but as a predator/prey interaction. They think dating isn't about making a connection, but about getting control of another person. Head games are one way to do that. Ugh.
boogieboy Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 OP, I couldn't agree more, the head games you describe are common and horrible. I don't play them, nor do I tolerate people who do. Such behaviors reflect the fact that many people don't see dating as a search for companionship, but as a predator/prey interaction. They think dating isn't about making a connection, but about getting control of another person. Head games are one way to do that. Ugh. People deal with the games because once they think they snagged someone, they dont want to let go, and the games get escalated. Anyone who isnt desperate would say "oh she didnt call me back? Im not callin her, if she isnt dead, Her loss...oh well".
You'reasian Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 OP, I couldn't agree more, the head games you describe are common and horrible. I don't play them, nor do I tolerate people who do. Such behaviors reflect the fact that many people don't see dating as a search for companionship, but as a predator/prey interaction. They think dating isn't about making a connection, but about getting control of another person. Head games are one way to do that. Ugh. Datins is a search for companionship. I think its good practice to have a face to face talk early in the relationship. If what they say matches with what they do, then you've got a keeper. If not, then there needs to be more talks and either come to a compromise or part ways.
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