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I really like him but now he's hurt - I don't want to seem pushy


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Posted

I met a guy on eharmony a couple of weeks ago and we hit it off right away. We talked on the phone a few times and then went out to dinner. At dinner he was complaining about neck pain and said he had an old injury that was acting up. He invited me on a second date two days later, but had to cancel because his neck was worse and he was in a neck brace and had to stay still and maybe we could reschedule our date later in the week.

I didn't hear from him for a few days and then he emailed that he had been in the hospital having tests and was probably facing surgery.

 

I really like this guy, but I don't want to seem pushy. I sent him an email and told him if he wanted to talk or if he felt like some company let me know. I also told him if he wanted privacy at this time, please let me know that also.

 

Should I just back off and let him contact me when he is able or does it hurt to just email and say hi once in a while and let him know I am thinking of him and offer help or company if he wants it? He is an only child, his parents are deceased and I think he has two grown children nearby.

Posted
Should I just back off and let him contact me when he is able

Yes. You've already said you're available. You've only been on one date together. To keep emailing to say "hi" and "I'm still here" looks desperate. If he is really interested in you, this little setback won't matter to him...he'll get back in touch once he's back on his feet.

Posted

well, its sounds like you already emailed him so now the ball is in his court. Don't keep emailing him if he don't respond. If he responds positively and leaves you a opening for correspondence then proceed. I wouldn't go on and on about how you are there for him, you barely know him. If anything just simply state you enjoyed the date and wish him a speedy recovery and hopefully we can get together soon. Something along those lines.

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Posted

I just emailed him once after he told me that he had been in the hospital for testing and was leaving it up to him if he wanted to get in touch with me. He had been pursuing me pretty hot and heavy so I know there is attraction on his part too. He had told me that during his marriage he was the one who was the nurturer and the caregiver to his children most of the time, because his wife was just not that way. He said that he was looking for a 50/50 relationship with both partners caring for each other. I just wanted to show him that if he needed help, company, etc. he could contact me if he wanted to, but I did not want to overstep my bounds since we had just started seeing each other.

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